joseph ♛

T R A N S B O D I E S A R E B E A U T I F U L

a piece i did recently, i struggle with naming my art, when i look at it, i’m not met with a singular word or phrase, but more of a feeling of familiarity and safety. i draw to express how i’m feeling or to represent how i see things, especially myself.

for a long time i have been convinced that i am ugly. that because i don’t have a male body, i couldn’t possibly be acknowledged as a male, despite how i feel inside and despite what i know about myself. but recently, i’ve realised that, by hating my body i am doing to myself what i wish others wouldn’t do to me… i’m judging myself, i’m invalidating myself. i’m doing to myself what trans people have fought so hard to get others to stop doing to us as a collective. i’ve come to realise that even though my body doesn’t look how i want it to, it doesn’t take away from who i am.

i am a man, and my body doesn’t change that. my body is my home and i shouldn’t hate it. i shouldn’t hate me. i need to remember that i am pre-T and pre-op but i won’t be forever. i won’t be unhappy with myself forever.

i was referred to a gender clinic near the start of the year and was told the minimum waiting time to just be introduced was 49 months… this destroyed me. so i have decided to go semi-private, where i get prescribed testosterone by my GP through shared care, but receive surgeries privately. the minimum price for top surgery where i am located is £6,000 and i really don’t think i can wait another 4+ years. it’s no longer just a *want* to get top surgery, it’s now become a *need* for it

PLEASE share and help me get this out there, it would mean the world to me and more !!! and if any donations are made, no matter how much, please know i am so incredibly grateful <3

i’m not particularly sure when exactly i’m getting top surgery but i’m hoping to have it done ASAP 🥺😅

someone who will let me push my face into their neck to hide, to cuddle, or to just be close to them.

someone who will love me for who i am and someone i can love for who they are, a mutual admiration.

someone who will go on walks with me, hold hands with me, stroke my hair, let me play with their hair.

i wish i had someone who would hug me without me having to beg for it. someone who can see that i’m hurting and acts without prompting. someone who won’t make me feel worse about the things i can’t control.