its really bug clues

“help” is my favorite way to say that something is funny. like hey i laughed at this post can you save me

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

you specifically arrange some things so cats won't get hair on them and then the cat is like Oh here You almost forgot my hair.

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

i'm opening up our relationship so bugs can get in

boy are you a werthers original cause i could suck you for about three minutes

but after that im chewing on it

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be someones lame ass boyfriend

When a small mammal scrunches up and cleans its face and whiskers with its little hands very rapidly. I just wanted to give you that thought for a moment did u like it.

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.