β | | ππ πππ πππππ πππππ ππ ππππ ππππ πππ ππππππππ . Mostly , because of Zuko . γ Entirely γ because of Zuko . Azula had had no intention of meeting their Mother again . Since she was a child , too small to fulfill the obligations her Father had set for her , Azula knew that she was never her Mother's favorite child . How could she be ? She might have looked like her -- long , raven hair , and eyes as gold as a fire's glow -- but she was still not Zuko . Growing up . Zuko was considered the kind one , by their Mother . He was viwed as gentle , patient . He was everything that their Father did not want . Azula , was γ everything γ that their Father had wanted , and more . She was quick on her feet in battle , and a skilled bender . Clever beyond her years . Mature way too young . She excelled in all her classes . Should she fail , she was quick to repair her marks to remain in her Father's good graces . She was crafted into the γ perfect γ child that her Father would be proud of .
In turn , Azula then became a child that her Mother was γ disgraced γ of .
Each passing year of her childhood , Azula grew more into the image of what her Father γ desired γ from his heir , while Zuko seemingly fell from it . Then her Mother left in the dead of night . She abandoned them . At the time , Azula had not realized that her Mother had kept her Father's treatment of her and her brother from being too harsh . Without her barrier , her Father's control became γ cruel γ . Unfortunately , she had not realized that , until she came under Zuko's care many years later . She had not realized that her Father's control was to keep her under his thumb every moment that she breathed air . His tight hold on her life , at every aspect , was to ensure that she remained the absolutely γ perfect γ image of what he wanted his children to look like . Because of her Father , Azula rarely spoke her true feelings . She kept those locked inside of her , as well as many other things , while she remained trapped within the walls of golden bricks and lavish silk fabrics . As long as she played dressup , with every accessory her Father provided -- from perfect bending moves , to navigating the court and the royal military -- she would take the throne . She smiled when told , and smirked on command . She was good , praised for everything amazing she accomplished . It had become expected that she would reach that standard . She did not stray far from her Father's intentions or well - wishes . She feared the punishment she received when no one was looking . He γ demaned γ she behave , and show him respect at all times . So long as she did that , Zuko would be obsolete . That's what he told her .
What an amazing γ lie γ that had turned out to be .
Each year , her Father's grip on her life tightened , to the point that every moment was carefully calculated for her . Crushes were nonexistent. If she did like someone , it was made clear to her that they were γ far γ from good enough for her . They would either disappear , or , if they did manage to flirt with her , Azula would throw flaming knives at them to show her affection . This was not correct . She thought her knife skills were impressive , and they thought she was a γ terror γ . Eventually , crushes stopped showing their face to her , while her classmates were courted by those around her . Her friends . She had two . Each selected for various reasons . Ty Lee was her friend by choice , Mai was her friend by γ circumstance γ . Both were approved of by her parents . Her Father let her keep them . That was nice of him .
Then there was the matter of Zuko . Her older brother . Once upon a time , Azula had been told sweet words of how he was going to protect her from γ every γ terrible thing that the world had to offer . He was going to be who she could run to when she had nightmares . He was going to be who she could turn to when she needed someone to hear her voice . He was going to train with her for hours so that she could be just as good as γ he γ was . Only , that wasn't how it happened . At all . Zuko hadn't become that person for her until she was much -- much older . When she was younger , she was told that she had to be better than him . At everything . Her marks needed to be better . Her bending needed to be sharper . Her manners in court needed to be crisper , and her understanding of the military needed to be finessed so that she would be able to navigate the royal life without any messups . Eventually , the person who was supposed to be her γ protector γ had become her γ enemy γ . And the person who should be her γ enemy γ was the only person she trusted completely , and the only person she knew would be her γ protector γ .
Without their Mother there to keep that in check , that was how Azula's view on her family began to skew even further than it already had . It had slipped through the cracks to such a degree that even trusting her own γ brother γ wasn't possible . Her Mother . . . Her Mother had left them alone . She viewed her as a γ awful γ because she wasn't like Zuko . She didn't want to be like Zuko . Zuko was banished . Zuko was burned . Zuko was disgraced because he used his voice . Her Mother was killed for being like Zuko . . . She was fine , as long as she remained the perfect porcelain doll .
Only , she wasn't fine . She had never been fine . Her Father's harsh comments under his breath were never missed . No , they just chipped away at her exteriror until there was nothing left but the shell of a girl she once knew . She would catch them , her eyes would falter , then they would go back to sharp . Her Father's snide comments hurt -- γ stung γ , even . Every time she was compared to Zuko , or told she wasn't good enough . . . It felt like she had been stabbed through by a sword . She wouldn't cry . Not in front of him . . . That was a weakness to her Father . Weakness . . . would turn her into Zuko . In the sanctuary of her bedroom , away from the walls that had ears , would be when she would let those tears fall . She would look in the mirror , at the reflection of the girl who stood before it , and see just how γ shattered γ she had become . By the end of the war , the porcelain doll that had once been polished by her Father's hands , was now lying as a broken mess on the floor .
Years following the war had not been kind to Azula . She would not share the sob story with her Mother . She was certain that Zuko had done that already . Instead , she sat across the table from the woman who gave her life . Azula's hands rested in her lap . The smell of jasmine tea and fresh pastries wafted through the air . There were only two people in her life that she trusted , now . Her brother . Zuko . He had become someone she could depend on . While still at arm's length , she could go to him like she had always γ wanted γ to do . She could speak to him about crushes , and about potentially having friends . If she had nightmares , he was there to vanquish them . If she had thoughts to say , he would let her speak them . He had become the older brother she had γ needed γ since she was little . Her boyfriend . A Warrior from the Southern Water Tribe , who took on loving her like a war he wasn't going to lose . If she pushed him away , he came back full force . If she shed a tear , he wiped them with calloused fingers . If she needed comfort , he was the first to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything would be alright . Sokka . . . She would never deserve him .
Her eyes couldn't look at her Mother . Her gaze remained fixed on a crack in the table just beyond the brim of her cup . Her hair , once always tied up tight , now lay long and straight down her back and her shoulders . She curled her hands against her thighs until they lay in fists . Her breathing steady . She noted the table set up , hand - selected by her brother . She could tell . There were no sharp objects . Zuko was here . Should she need to leave , her Warrior was close , as well . Zuko had promised this .
She made the decision before she had sat down at the table , and before she had entered the room . She was not going to speak . Because there was so much in her life that was the fault of the woman who sat across from her , she didn't think it would be worth the breath wasted . Because of her Mother , Azula had become a caged songbird , with a shackle around her ankle and her voice stolen by her Father . Because of her Mother , Zuko was banished because she failed to protect him -- to protect γ both γ of them . Because of her Mother , Azula's mind shouted violent things at her , and made her see images that weren't there , without a moment's peace . Because of her Mother , Azula became the spitting image of the man that she called Father .
Because of her Mother . . . Azula was a γ monster γ .
