Moth Among Butterflies

“Everyone is afraid of something. We fear things because we value them. We fear losing people because we love them. We fear dying because we value being alive. Don’t wish you didn’t fear anything. All that would mean is that you didn’t feel anything.”

And the truth is, I healed because I wasn’t pretty or on the internet or popular or loved, because I couldn’t and didn’t look like I had it all or anything together, so I had nothing to lose by being ugly, crazy, a snot-filled mess of pain. and even though I was sure I was a fucked failure I healed slow in a basement filled with cheap meals while no one was watching but god. I was a wondrous mushroom. I chose life as spiteful revenge and that has held me when everything else let go.