charlie

i'm thinking of how the title of datvd comes from the Shakespeare quote "these violent delights have violent ends" and how the book ends with the line "the opening move was circled in red" and how 1, it is genius 2, it also somehow implies that you, the reader, are doomed from the start too, from reading the first page you're up for a heartbreak and finally 3, how this book just lives in my head rent free ever since i've read it

thinking about julian fromme saying “you could do anything to me and i’d let you” and MEANING it and trying again and again and again to prove it to someone who refuses to believe it and then regretting it and having to live with that regret and what he did to prove it and the knowledge he would’ve at some point let him… (loaded dot dot dot)

not to be all [i love you till my breathing stops i love you till you call the cops on me] [it’s rotten work not to me not if it’s you] [i can take care of myself just fine. no. what do you mean no? no] [one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i’m on baby] [i will do anything whatever she wants] [is that too much to expect? that i would name the stars for you?] [you want to die for love you always have] [love for you is not like the usual romantic love. it’s like a religion. it’s terrifying] but i want a love full of devotion

i’m your girl boyfriend i’m your boy girlfriend i’m your girlboy bestie and i’m never gonna die

ultimately i think we all want someone who will tenderly wipe the blood off our face

babe are you okay? you’ve barely touched your mitksi it chapter two lorde the goldfinch richard siken parallels post…

just googled my symptoms and it turns out i took Conversational Russian for a year. Totally because of you. I did really shitty in it, actually. Never got good enough to read it, you know, to sit down with Eugene Onegin—you have to read it in Russian, they say, it doesn’t come through in translation. But—I thought of you so much! I used to remember little things you’d say—all sorts of things came back to me—oh, wow, listen, they’re playing ‘Comfy in Nautica,’ do you hear that? Panda Bear! I totally forgot that album. Anyway. I wrote a term paper on The Idiot for my Russian Literature class—Russian Literature in translation—I mean, the whole time I was reading it I thought about you,

i hate when theo calls boris one of the great friends of his life. who are your other friends

I love the goldfinch because like. canonically. CANONICALLY! theo loved boris. he was in love with him. and they literally had sex! and theo’s still like aha does this dog make me look gay :/

Boys' night! (guts you in my kitchen)

and tonight I'll ache with undefined longing for no reason at all

why psychoanalyze urself when it costs $0.00 to pick up a copy of the goldfinch from ur local library and psychoanalyze theodore decker instead

I promise y’all u can say lesbian. It’s not a dirty word..... it isn’t a porn category, it isn’t inherently sexual, it isn’t bad. lesbian is a beautiful word why do u guys want to avoid it so bad.