Can anyone tell me what the fuck is going on up above me? K thanks. -Mort.

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@mortthedoorknocker
Can anyone tell me what the fuck is going on up above me? K thanks. -Mort.

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So after reading Empire of Storms who do you hate more Maeve or Elena? Because I could make arguments for both of them
THAT Elena was a real piece of work.
In all fairness, I never liked her.
-Mort.
Mort: so *cracks up* I told her NOTHING!
Celaena: I'm still here.
Mort: I know. I'm just trying to get you to leave now.
What did Celaena feel when the bronze knocker spoke to her?
She was MORTified.
10/10 what happened.
The majority of Mort's diary entries end with:
What. An. Idiot.

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Mort's Diary Entries On The King
Diary entry #113: today I saw the King. He found a Wyrd key. He kinda looks responsible.
Diary entry #205: what a fucking twat. What the fuck is the King doing?!
Diary entry #206: if I wasn't a door knocker so help me gods....
A Day in the Life of Mort & Elena
Mort singing: I wanna be where the people are...
Mort: *snorts* who am I kidding no I don't!
Damn this infernal girl.
Mort when Celaena kept making so much noise.
Mort muttering: sure, King Brannon, make me into an immortal, magical door knocker. Great idea King Brannon. Now I have to babysit dead people and endure an insufferable girl. Great way to spend eternity.
Mort Diaries: Entry #204
Just met the sassiest assassin today.
She asked me dumb questions.
So I was sarcastic as fuck.
(I think her name was Cierra Sardines?)

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