ALL HAIL MORT @morts-morticians - Tumblr Blog

HAPPY NEW YEARS, MORTALS AND MORTICIANS

ANOTHER YEAR OF MORT

•18+ Adults Only

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the-magnificent-mort

Mort's New Year's Resolution is to scheme more

What is yours?

morts-morticians

To convert more people to Mort's cause so that he may finally have enough Morticians to overthrow BIM and his bimbos

#mortism #all hail mort #it is time for a religious schism

thebeastofblackmoor

Clue Crew I'm beginning to think that Big Island Mike is a false god. Since July, I have repeatedly asked for prayers to BIM for jobs I was in the running for, and I got none of them. Then, this month, I did not post anything about an opportunity I was interviewing for, and I got it. Is it possible BIM is not our lord at all?

For this reason, I ask that you please do not pray to BIM that I get the old grease stains out of my lightly colored shirts.

the-immersion-excursion

Blasphemy. Big Island Mike will strike you down for such a statement. When your car stalls... When you spill your drink... When you misspell something in a work email... When you lose your keys... That is BIM giving you exactly what you deserve: Eternal punishment for your Big Island Insolence. You will know the power of our Big Island Lord.

Only when you learn the error of your ways and submit to his Big Island Holiness will your torment end.

thebeastofblackmoor

you tell me BIM is responsible for all the worst happenings and minor inconveniences in my life and you think this will make me want to worship him? FOOLISH. claracs, rise up.

the-immersion-excursion

Those who love him will be loved. Those who hate him will have their hatred reflected back to them tenfold. Big Island Salvation awaits, should to apologize for your Big Island Misdeeds.

BUT THAT IS NOT ALL I MUST BIG ISLAND SAY.

You foolish Clarac. Your false goddess Clara Thornton has no comparison to the Big Island Power of BIM. She lacks his Holy Flavors, his Big Island Generosity, his Big Island Sex Appeal. Her daughter doesn't even love her! Pua adores her father, in all his Big Island Holiness, because he loves his daughter more than anything! But Clara! The heathen! She wishes to control her daughter. To mold her into a Little Clara. FOOLISHNESS. Pressure like that to become what a parent desires will further separate the parent and the child. A REAL loving parent, such as our Lord BIM, encourages their child to live out their OWN dreams, such as surfing and lesbianism!

CURSES UPON YOU, ALL WHO WORSHIP SUCH A FALSE GODDESS.

the-magnificent-mort

You foolish mortals, this can all be fixed by following Mortism

the-immersion-excursion

Girl, fuck you.

the-magnificent-mort

Big Island Mike aspires to the level of holiness I have achieved

morts-morticians

Mort is the one true god, his fluffiness knows no bounds and he shall deliver us from the heretics

#mortism #convert to mortism and see the error of your big island ways

thebeastofblackmoor

Clue Crew I'm beginning to think that Big Island Mike is a false god. Since July, I have repeatedly asked for prayers to BIM for jobs I was in the running for, and I got none of them. Then, this month, I did not post anything about an opportunity I was interviewing for, and I got it. Is it possible BIM is not our lord at all?

For this reason, I ask that you please do not pray to BIM that I get the old grease stains out of my lightly colored shirts.

the-immersion-excursion

Blasphemy. Big Island Mike will strike you down for such a statement. When your car stalls... When you spill your drink... When you misspell something in a work email... When you lose your keys... That is BIM giving you exactly what you deserve: Eternal punishment for your Big Island Insolence. You will know the power of our Big Island Lord.

Only when you learn the error of your ways and submit to his Big Island Holiness will your torment end.

thebeastofblackmoor

you tell me BIM is responsible for all the worst happenings and minor inconveniences in my life and you think this will make me want to worship him? FOOLISH. claracs, rise up.

the-immersion-excursion

Those who love him will be loved. Those who hate him will have their hatred reflected back to them tenfold. Big Island Salvation awaits, should to apologize for your Big Island Misdeeds.

BUT THAT IS NOT ALL I MUST BIG ISLAND SAY.

You foolish Clarac. Your false goddess Clara Thornton has no comparison to the Big Island Power of BIM. She lacks his Holy Flavors, his Big Island Generosity, his Big Island Sex Appeal. Her daughter doesn't even love her! Pua adores her father, in all his Big Island Holiness, because he loves his daughter more than anything! But Clara! The heathen! She wishes to control her daughter. To mold her into a Little Clara. FOOLISHNESS. Pressure like that to become what a parent desires will further separate the parent and the child. A REAL loving parent, such as our Lord BIM, encourages their child to live out their OWN dreams, such as surfing and lesbianism!

CURSES UPON YOU, ALL WHO WORSHIP SUCH A FALSE GODDESS.

the-magnificent-mort

You foolish mortals, this can all be fixed by following Mortism

morts-morticians

Mort has spoken.

#mortism #all hail mort

the-magnificent-mort

You all have finally drank the kool-aid and are preparing yourselves for further trials. Wait no longer, for our fourth puzzle shall be arising soon. Be patient, my dear mortals.

morts-morticians

Mort has spoken.

#mortism #morticians #mort #all hail mort

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is LIVE right now

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the-magnificent-mort

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Yvslow nligzoh, gsv yvzfgb lu Tilleb 60h Xfog Ovzwvi Nlig zh sv levixlnvh nb xlmhxrlfhmvhh zmw xlmgiloh nb wrtrgzo wlnzrm uli z kvirlw.

morts-morticians

Mort has spoken

#mortism #morticians #the mortician trials

the-magnificent-mort

I'm back

morts-morticians

Behold, the glorious return of our god Mort

#mortism #all hail mort

Tremble, MORTals, for the all powerful Mort shall bring his judgement down upon the heretics! Repent and become MORTicians!

#mortism #mort #morticians #all hail mort

blorbo-court

Submitted by mygirlfriendismadatme

Mort (All Hail King Julien)

Innocent

Guilty

Voting ended onJul 7, 2025

morts-morticians

Mort is innocent, do not listen to the lies of the heretics, dear MORTicians

#mortism

morts-morticians

@the-magnificent-mort I am here to do Mort's bidding

@papenniesandbentoboxes @drewlyyours @sonnys-space-junk @nancydrewmermaid @discombobulateddisco007 @nancyscenterofoperations come be Morticians

penny-milkin-em

Another cult?

morts-morticians

BEGONE FOUL PENNY, THERE IS NO PLACE FOR YOU AMONG MORT'S MORTICIANS

#mortism

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

the-magnificent-mort

Dearest mortals and future morticians!

I come bearing a message for you all. This announcement has weathered storms and fires to get to you, it's best you wisely choose not to ignore this.