marvel imagines

“Come on, Harley! Whaddya doing?” 

Yes, not even two minutes into the mobster movie you were watching, had Jake decided to put on his Italian accent and yell hopelessly at the character. Thirty minutes later and he was, unsurprisingly, still doing it. You and Tom exchanged glances and laughed at him, because although it was mildly annoying, it was also viciously funny. 

“Wait, no! They can’t kill Harley?” Tom complained, looking up from his phone to realise Harley was, in fact, dying. 

“I know. I’m so bummed out,” You sighed and stuck your hand in your bag of sour gummies. 

You, Jake and Tom, being the leads for a new movie, had been working together for several months. Over the course of filming, you’d gotten into the habit of hanging out every Friday (which was originally a way to stop you from going out and being irresponsible).

It was one of those hangouts you now found yourself in. Just relaxing after a hard day of work with your pals. 

“Man, this movie sucks, dude,” Jake said, this time uncloaking his voice of the Italian mobster accent. You and Tom both nodded. You were about to suggest playing some board games, when your alarm, that traumatising and reality crushing tune that woke you up every morning, blared throughout the room. 

Your brows furrowed and you picked it up. The message that was displayed on the screen, was put so eloquently: ‘you need to go buy pads for lily. im like 100% sure you fucking forgot, you idiot’

“Nya, shit,” you mumbled and quickly turned off the alarm. 

“What’s up?” Jake asked, shuffling in his chair. You sighed and started gathering your things and your jacket. 

“I’ve gotta go buy stuff for my friend,” you said vaguely. You never thought of periods as embarrassing, but you knew Lily, your best friend, was a very private person, and she probably wouldn’t appreciate you telling two of the biggest Hollywood stars on the planet, that she was at home bleeding to her death. 

“Buy stuff?” 

You rolled your eyes, “It’s female-friend stuff. It’ll take me, like, 20 minutes to buy it and bring it to her. Don’t worry about it.” 

Jake and Tom exchanged glances, chewing on the idea. “Alright, but be back quick, because I think we should play Monopoly instead of watching the only good character in this movie die.”

“Done deal!” you said and with that you were out the door. 

At first, everything went just as you expected it to. You went to the store that was 5 minutes away and bought some pads (and some chocolate because you’re a nice person) for Lily. You exited the store, and decided to walk behind the store to get Lily’s house faster. 

“Don’t fucking move, dipshit.” 

Admittedly, a pathetic opening line of a robbery. That didn’t make the knife you felt being pressed into your side any less scary. Looking to your right, a man, your attacker, was standing. 

He was pale and skinny and had a long beard. His eyes were crazy, wide open and twitching. He was smiling, too. He pressed the knife a little harder, causing a whimper to escape your lips. 

“I just want your money. That’s all I want,” he was trying very hard to look into your eyes, but you couldn’t stand his. You chewed your lip, wondering what to say. 

“I- I don’t have any-”

Given the situation you found yourself in, maybe you shouldn’t have been so shocked at this, but the slap and the sound and the rippling pain that all came at once, sent a gasp and tears spilling over your eyes. 

“Wrong, bitch! Give me your fucking money!” he pressed the knife harder, you swore it was drawing blood. You tried shying away from it, but he had a firm grip on your shoulder. 

“Okay,” you whispered, shaking hands reaching into your pockets to pull out your wallet. “Okay, okay, here.. Here..”

You pulled out any and all cash you had, probably all summing up to be about 35 dollars. 

“Good, kid,” he patted your head like he was your uncle, like you were old friends, and then removed the knife from your side. You heard him running away, but you couldn’t be bothered to look where. Your legs wobbled and you collapsed right there on the side walk, doubling over and starting to cry.

Meanwhile in the Gyllenhaal household, Jake and Tom were growing pretty impatient. 20 minutes had passed. They’d set up the Monopoly game and even picked the characters. Now, they just sat and waited.

21, 22, 23, 24, 25 minutes passed, and they just waited. 

“This isn’t like them,” Tom finally spoke up. He’d been resting his head on the wooden table and blowing air on his shoe-character, trying to make it fall over. 

“I know! I’m trying to text them, but they’re not answering. Should I call?” 

They looked at each other. Then the time. 30 minutes had passed. “Yeah, call them.”

Unsurprisingly, you didn’t answer (seeing as you were crying on the sidewalk with a small cut in your side and a slapped face). 

“Something’s wrong,” Jake decided. Tom nodded too. 

That was how they decided to go out and look for you, going to the nearest grocery store in their coats and sunglasses and scarves. You were nowhere to be seen inside the store (although, Tom did confuse you for an old lady for a moment). They went outside. 

An unnerved feeling churned in their stomachs. Tom led them to the path near the road, but the crunch of their steps on the asphalt was halted. Jake heard a sniffle. It was so faint, he wasn’t sure he was right, so he grabbed Tom’s shoulder harshly and halted him. 

Sure enough. Sniffles and sobs. And so the boys jogged behind the building, and heart beating nervously, they saw you there on the side walk, crying and shaking alone. 

“Y/n!” 

You snapped your head up. Your face was puffy and eyes shiny. You wiped them furiously, but only making yourself cry even more.

“What happened, holy shit, are you okay?” 

And you fell into Tom’s arms, whilst Jake rubbed your back comfortingly. You retold the shaky story of how this man had mugged you, and how he’d had the knife in your side, and hit you. And how scared you were.

When you first said you’d been mugged, Tom’s eyes widened in shock. He leaned back to look at you. His arms tightened and his jaw clenched. You felt Jake stop rubbing your back for a moment. You turned your head and saw him pulling out his phone. 

“It’s okay now, N/n. It’s okay. You’re safe now, we got you. He can’t hurt you, alright?” Tom whispered lovingly. Jake had left your side to call the police. You had calmed down then, terror still roaming you skull hauntingly, but you were no longer crying, and your heartbeat was steadying. 

“I was just so scared. He could’ve done anything..” You whispered and shook your head. Trying to shake the feeling. 

“I know, I know. It’s okay to feel scared. But I’ll protect you now, Jake too. He won’t hurt you. He can’t.”

You nodded. 

The police arrived shortly after and you told them exactly what had happened. Jake, being the oldest and most responsible of the two, helped you with each question and each part of the process. 

Turns out, the police knew the guy. It wasn’t the first time he’d done something like that to teenagers. He was caught pretty quickly. 

Still, even though the fucker was in jail, you couldn’t help but feel scared. Tom and Jake never let you go to the store alone anymore. Not even in the daytime. But you liked that. You were pretty sure if they weren’t constantly going with you, you wouldn’t have gone at all. 

You had nightmares every once in a while. But Jake always came to your hotel room to comfort you. And when you felt like you were being overdramatic, he’d always convince you, you weren’t. 

You got over it (mostly) eventually, but you knew you wouldn’t have been able to without Tom and Jake. It felt good to know that they were willing to do so much for you without getting nothing in return. It felt good to have friends. And you’d return the favour any day for them. 

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You’d been in Marvel movies as a returning character for years. Your character was growing up, just as you were, and you loved every moment spent with the cast. They’d known you since you were about 6, and your bond with them was as real as could be. 

Knowing them all for so long, you’d been able to tell them most of your problems. The early problems with fame, love troubles, friendship drama, and general weird thinking about the world. They had in many ways raised you. 

But there was one thing - something that brought such a dark shadow of shame over you, so maddening and humiliating you’d never ever told them. You were insecure about how you looked.

It was ridiculous. I mean, you’d always kind of disliked your body type, and as you grew, you wished you had certain other features. Some of the insecurity came with fame, but the root of it just always seemed to have been there. 

That’s why when you looked in the mirror to see your first pimple, your reaction was not as simple as being bummed out. You felt disgusting. So disgusting, in fact, you stayed in your trailer and cried and cried and cried, and eventually covered your mirrors, because the reflection you saw was an evil taunt. It told you that you were ugly. 

But the mirrors being covered didn’t help. You couldn’t feel comfortable with the cast anymore, not knowing a bright red pimple adorned your usually untouched forehead. Not knowing you looked so stupid. Your mood was ruined, and your reflection was seemingly everywhere to bully you.

It reflected you on smooth surfaces, like counters and shelves, in glass and in bathroom mirrors. You cried each time you were reminded of your frank ugliness. It only worsened when you got several more pimples, and you felt yourself scrambling to fix everything, to stop the taunting that was so constant in your brain. 

The moment you pulled the paper bag over your head, it stopped. You were anonymous again. No fame, no beauty, no ugliness. Anonymity was a superpower. 

The first time you wore it, you only wore it at home, and then struggled the rest of the day with your crippling self hatred. After two days of this, you couldn’t resist it. Wearing it to work. You knew it looked weird, but you just wanted so, so desperately to feel comfortable again. 

“Woah, who’s that?” Anthony asked as you walked onto set that morning, paper bag resting on your shoulders, and three holes (two eyes, one mouth) cut into it. 

“It’s me,” you said curtly. It was a fair group of people you had accidentally run into. Anthony, Scarlett, Sebastian, Chris (Evans), and Elizabeth sat in the break room where you were trying to get some coffee in. You wanted to avoid everyone as long as possible. You knew your actions would raise questions (questions you really did not want to answer), so you’d planned to not speak to anyone outside of the filming. You would take it off in front of the camera, and then grab it as soon as possible, to minimise the agony and self hatred that had caused it in the first place. 

“Y/n? Why are you wearing a paper bag?” Scarlett’s joking tone signalled she (and probably the others too) thought it was a joke of sorts. A prank, maybe. You ignored her question and put a mug beneath the dispenser, pressing a couple of buttons. Coffee was dispensed. You waited silently. 

“Are you okay?” Sebastian called from the couch. 

“Yep.”

There was an uncomfortable silence. You just wanted to leave. If only wearing a paper bag everywhere was socially acceptable. 

“What’s with the paper bag, sweetheart?” Elizabeth asked worriedly. They had probably realised by now, that it was more than just a practical joke. You panicked. 

“I’m doing a.. It’s an experiment.. For school,” you lied. You went to pick up your mug, but, regretfully, you realised your hand was shaking. A lot. In fact, your entire body was shaking a little bit. They were just a little bit too close to the truth. To the shame.

You grabbed the mug and took it, backing out to exit the room, but you went to quick, hand slipping, and the mug as well as its contents spilled out onto the floor. The mug shattered and the hot, brown liquid flooded the floor. 

“Hey-” a hand found your shoulder, making you jump away and shriek. The paper bag rattled at the motion. It was Chris who’d walked up to you (very stealthily, may I add) and was now looking at you with those concerned blue eyes. “Are you okay, N/n? What’s wrong?” 

The mug was shattered. The coffee was on the floor. You had pimples on your forehead and you couldn’t stand yourself. You started crying. 

Silently crying, but visibly shaking, you lowered yourself to your knees on the floor, grasping your head through the paper bag in agony. You hated yourself. It was such a loud feeling. 

“Y/n..” you heard Chris mumble, squatting down next to you and stroking your back. The shuffling of feet came closer, until the cast was standing next to you. The paper bag rattled once more, as this time, you took it off.

“I’m so ugly. I’m so ugly, Chris, I can’t stand myself,” you sobbed, now audibly, tears running down your face and some dripping into the spilt coffee. You saw your reflection in the liquid, and shame overtook you once more. “I’m so ugly-”

“Stop. No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am. I’ve got- I’ve got pimples on my face and I-” you croaked, but broke off into a sob once more. 

“Hang on, is this about pimples?” Sebastian intercepted, stepping forward. You shook your head.

“No.. Well, yeah. But it’s just.. Everything. I always hated how I looked, and I.. This just made it worse, I guess..”

“Oh, sweetie..” Scarlett mumbled, as both her and Elizabeth pulled you up form the wetted floor, and into a hug. They rubbed your back and squeezed you tight. 

“You’re such a stunning young person, N/n. In every way. And pimples! They’re the most natural thing on the planet. I had pimples, Scarlett had pimples, Sebastian, Chris, Anthony! We’ve all had it,” Elizabeth said, as your raking sobs turned to sniffles in the ladies’ warm embraces. You nodded into her shoulder. 

“Please, believe me, N/n, when I say that you’re one of the most gorgeous humans I’ve ever encountered. Inside and out,” Scarlett’s voice had never seemed as comforting as then. 

“For the record, we don’t think you’re ugly either. You’re the definition of beautiful. I’d let my kids date you. And that’s a huge compliment!” Anthony jumped in, semi-jokingly, but gaze as serious as could be.

You wheezed a laugh. The pimples, that previously had seemed as bright and glowing as Rudolph’s red nose, seemed less significant now. Actually, you realised you’d never felt as comfortable as you did then. The insecurity that had had so many ties over you, had been cut loose. You were free and floating. 

You almost felt stupid for not telling them sooner. The confidence you felt, was something you’d never gotten to experience. 

You pulled away form Elizabeth and Scarlett, smiling and wiping your eyes. 

“Thank you, guys. I’m sorry for being so dramatic,” you giggled now, face puffy and cried-out, but still you felt beautiful. 

“Hey, no. You weren’t being dramatic. You were struggling with something and we helped you. Simple as that,” Sebastian said, ruffling your hair and smiling encouragingly. 

“And don’t hesitate to tell any of us, if you feel like this again. We will jump to comfort you at any time of the day,” Chris added, patting your shoulder. You wiped your eyes once more, smiling like a dork.

“Can I get a hug?” you asked. 

They hugged you, and you felt so loved and beautiful. You truly had somewhere, you thought, that you could always tell anyone anything. You had something so incredible. You had a family. 

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“Y/n, you don’t look too good? Caught a stomach bug?” 

You sighed at Jake’s question. You did quite literally feel like shit that morning, all three of you padding out of the hotel to enter the car. It was going to be another day of press, and while those days could be a bunch of fun, this time the thought just worsened your pounding headache, nausea, weakness, and general shit-feeling.

“I don’t know what it is, I just feel real bad,” you grumbled irritably. Tom and Jake exchanged glances over your head. 

“Think you should stay home today? Me and Jake can take a yelling from Marvel, it’s totally fine. They hate me anyway.” 

“Yeah, I was gonna say, there’s really no way Tom can worsen his image to Marvel. He can take the blame. I mean, he’s already hit rock bottom.” 

You snorted at their banter, and without looking, knew Tom had that undoubtedly offended face. Though, you still shook your head sadly. 

“It’s not that bad. It’ll be fine.” 

There wasn’t much arguing then. The boys never knew you to be a liar about such things, and trusted your judgement completely. And, to be fair, you didn’t lie about how you were feeling. You just thought it was less bad than it was, which is why, when you entered the car, sitting between the two man-children, you got very nervous when it suddenly worsened drastically. 

You were sickly-looking, and both your head and stomach hurt. Your legs felt like jello (which is a very weird sensation, by the way, causing you to wriggle your legs to give them life again), and an overwhelming feeling of nausea hit you. Overall though, you felt weak.

Jake and Tom were still watching you worriedly. Your worsened state was easily spotted by them. 

“We’re here,” the driver announced. Out the window, you could see the sandy building that you were filming press in that day, and a pretty sizeable group of fans (mostly beautiful young gals) who were looking to meet their idols. 

“This is a bigger group than usual,” Tom mumbled, and the comment made you involuntarily groan. You loved fans, but today everything sucked. 

Soon enough, you three exited the black car, and The Jello Effect was in full effect, as you wobbled to the front door. 

“Oh my God, hi! We’re super big fans!” A nice-looking lady smiled brightly when she spotted you all. Her voice was pleasant, you thought. 

“Oh wow, I can’t believe we’re actually meeting them. I didn’t think they’d show up here today. Guess you were right,” came the mumblings from between them.

“We can sign a few things, if you want? We still have a bit of time before our schedule,” Tom offered kindly, because he was such a celebrity that really loved the fans, possibly more than both you and Jake (not that you two didn’t, Tom just had so much love to give out). 

All the fans (girls and boys and nonbinary alike) gathered to have their shirts, comics, papers, and anything else that they wanted signed. 

You felt horrific, but didn’t object, signing and smiling the best you could, but overall staying quiet. You even joined in on the pictures. 

“C-Can I, um, also have a-a picture?” a shy boy asked stepping forward. Both Tom and Jake smiled and said “yeah” and “of course”, but in that moment the world suddenly got very blurry for you.

Everything was very overwhelming, the noise, the questions, the requests, and the responsibilities, and all of a sudden your legs were gone, and the ground was very close to you. And then it was black. 

Jake and Tom were standing in front of the boy, when a thump came from behind them (your jello body falling down, in case you were wondering). They looked, and surely enough, there you were, on the ground. 

They both immediately jumped down to you, crouching beside your collapsed body. 

“Holy shit, are they okay?” one of the fans asked, as a worried murmur spread throughout the crowd of people. 

“Uh, I don’t really know-” Jake said nervously. “Damn it, Y/n,” he cursed you, because, of course, you would underestimate the seriousness of your sickness. 

Thinking quick, Tom grabbed the rather shy boys phone, angled it so the boy was behind him, and then tapped Jake’s shoulder. They both, comically, duck faced simultaneously, and Tom snapped a picture. 

“Here,” he gave the kid back his phone, whilst Jake grabbed and lifted you. 

“We gotta get them to a hospital. I don’t want to risk anything,” Jake whispered, not wanting to further upset the fans that stood beside them, with wide eyes and filming phones. Tom nodded. 

“Alright, it’s been good, but, uh.. Well, we’ve got things to fix here,” Tom waved goodbye, and then followed Jake, who was sprinting to the parking lot with you in his arms. 

“W-What?” you mumbled and blinked awake. You felt drowsy and sick and simply quite terrible, and it was hard to understand, but you realized you were in someones arms. 

“Holy shit, Y/n, you scared the crap out of me!” Jake exclaimed breathlessly, as you awoke from your nonconsensual nap. You looked around in confusion, at Jake’s face (you had a great view of his nose and chin), the parking lot, and then a moment where you wondered what the hell was happening. 

“Did I- What happened?” your mumble was weak.

“You passed out! We’re bringing you to a hospital!” Tom came from behind Jake. This made you stir. 

“Uh, no. No, you’re not!” you (with much grunting and effort - and probably Jake simply letting you go out of respect) jumped out of Jake’s grasp and onto the parking lot. You stumbled, overestimating the solidness of your legs, and almost falling down again, but this time Tom was prepared. He grabbed your arm and pulled you to stand up. From his eyes came a warning look.

“Y/n. You’re sick. We’re going to a hospital. Just to make sure.” 

You knew he was right, but still you couldn’t help but feel like a bother. The boys both saw your stubbornness fade slightly. 

“Alright, I’ll go to the hospital. But you guys go and do press. I can’t have you getting in trouble with Marvel..” you mumbled somewhat angrily. 

Jake and Tom looked at each other for a moment, and then shook their heads. They begun moving at the same time, each taking one of your arms and just starting to walk. You looked back and forth between them accusingly. 

“I called an Uber. It’ll be here five.”

“Sounds good, sounds good.” 

“Excuse me? I said, I’ll go alone!” 

Tom stopped, turning to you. Surprisingly, he smiled playfully.

“Look, N/n. We’re going wether you like it or not, because me and Jake, we care about you too. So stop being so selfish, and let’s go get you checked out, because we can’t have you feeling sick and passing out on us. Alright?” 

His voice was surprisingly light and his smile was upheld, but you could tell he was still a bit concerned. The feeling of someone caring about you. It warmed your heart a bit. 

Jake ruffled your hair from behind, and you all started walking again. You smiled stupidly, and, though still present, your nausea was much smaller now. Jake eyed you from the side, watching your smile. He shook his head.

“Dummy.” 

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“Y/n, can’t you please reconsider this?” 

“No, I’m doing the stunt!” 

It was getting annoying at this point. You and the cast had been filming the newest Marvel movie for the past 4 months, and finally came the day, where your stunts were filmed. You only had this one scene (and one or two others with a bit of action) in the entire movie that included stunts, and you, being an experienced stunt double before turning into an actor, were excited. In fact, you were pretty sure that your experience as a stunt double, was what had gotten you the job in the first place. 

You expected that your co-stars would know this, but none of them did, and you found it hard to bring it up, without feeling like you were bragging or something, so you just didn’t tell them. But that was turning out to be a bad idea, as they were getting increasingly worried. 

During the first couple of months, it was mostly light chuckles and small remarks. 

“That’s gonna be tough, huh?”

But as the set was built and the day came closer, the remarks turned into a worried demands. 

“Y/n, that is way too dangerous! Tell the director that you want a stunt double!” Anthony had told you firmly and worryingly, as you came onto the set, wearing your costume. You furrowed your brows and tilted your head up to look at him.

“No, Anthony. I already told you,” you mumbled. Sebastian, Chris (Evans), Scarlett, and Tom (Hiddleston) looked over and a flurry of sighs came. The argument was starting again. 

“Look, maybe you should just listen to us - that stuff is really dangerous, and you’re just too young,” Chris told you, giving you those worried blue eyes. 

“I mean, look at you! You’re.. You know!” Sebastian knew immediately he shouldn’t have begun that sentence when he saw the narrow-eyed glare you sent his way.

“I’m what?” 

“You know... Delicate..” 

You rolled your eyes, intending to walk to a different part of set, where you wouldn’t be ridiculed, but Scarlett’s voice interrupted you. “Alright,” she said, “I’m gonna go ask Joe to give you a stunt double-” 

Just before you could retort, because, boy, was it annoying, a set worker yelled across set, running busily across set. “Guys! You’re on now!” 

You smirked cartoonishly, knowing you’d get to do the stunt, and set off to your starting position. Your coworkers watched you triumphantly getting ready, and exchanged deflated glances. They, reluctantly, got into position as well. 

“Action!”

You felt a power surge as you started, almost immediately jumping into the action. You did it just as it was written in the script, ducking beneath flying fists, taking fake punches, delivering soft blows and jumping and flipping in the air like it was nothing. 

As you dashed across the set, you glanced at Tom and Sebastian. They were both doing their own thing, but you found that their attention had been drifted slightly from the fight and onto you. Their mouths stood slightly agape.

You suppressed your grin, and climbed to the area of which you’d be jumping into a fairly narrow safety pad. You glance down and felt both anxiety and excitement tingling in your stomach. God, you’d really missed being a stunt double. 

You saw Anthony and Scarlett frowning, and then Chris glancing at the director, probably to signal yo get you down from there, but both directors were looking solely at you. 

The ground crunched beneath you, as you turned, pretending to look at approaching enemies coming up to the ledge from behind you. Then you looked down the jump and bit your lip, acting scared. 

“Welp, I guess I’m doing this,” you said as scripted, and then let yourself fall. Just as your body fell between the gap, you grabbed onto a small branch, placed there very purposefully. Your body bounced violently at the motion, and your arm tugged at the weight of your own body. 

You heard the actors playing the villains trample above you in confusion. 

“They probably jumped over! Let’s go!” they hissed, and the ledge thundered and small stones fell, as they all left you in the gap. You looked, once more just like in the script, at the ledge, the branch, and then beneath you. 

“God, bad day..” you mumbled, and comically you let yourself fall. You landed, rather gracefully in your opinion, on the pad, and fell onto safety. 

The set exploded in applause. The directors, set workers, actors and actresses, everyone was seemingly impressed, and you smiled with pride. 

“Woah, holy shit, holy fucking shit, Y/n! When’d you learn to do that?!” Chris asked excitedly, everyone running over as you stood up. 

“I was a stunt double for years. I love this kind of stuff,” you explained and watched them roll their eyes and smile in disbelief. 

“Why didn’t you say so, you dumbass?” Anthony tried to be angry, but he couldn’t hide how impressed he was. “But, for real, damn that was cool.”

“I don’t know, I didn’t know how to bring it up. Anyway-” 

“STOP CELEBRATING, WE’RE NOT DONE!” One of the directors had a megaphone and he made big eyes, as he fussed you all along. The cast laughed at him.

“Alright, but, uh- Next time, just tell us, Y/n. You gave me a fucking heart attack.” Scarlett cursed at you, booped your nose, and then jogged back to her place. You laughed and nodded.

“Tell me too!” Tom hissed, glancing at everyone waiting for the cast to stop fooling around, booped your nose once more (a very boopable surface, if you will), and ran to his position as well. 

Everyone traveled back to their places, and then you would work the scene over and over, and at the end of the day, you all went out to celebrate because, as the cast liked to phrase it, you were ‘inexplicably cool’. 

You enjoyed the food and the glory, and all was good. Looks like you weren’t so delicate after all. 

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“And cut! Great scene, guys! Take a break.” 

All your cast mates began to disperse from the set. There’d just been an exhausting fight scene, and everyone’s bones were calling for a chair. You hadn’t fought all that much, mostly waved around with your hands, imitating some magic. 

You bounded over to the coffee station. You’d gotten particularly fond of grabbing one or two sugar cubes and then playing on your phone, or reading a book. 

You reached up and grabbed the sweet squares of delight, and hopped to the couch in the break room. You’d left your book there. You opened it and look down at it in your lap, as you squeezed a sugar cube past lips. 

“I think I’m gonna go fall asleep,” you heard Tom say sheepishly. He was still in his suit, you noted, but it was loosened and hanging awkwardly, meaning he’d probably dashed to the bathroom. 

Robert patted his shoulder comfortingly. Basically the entire cast piled into the break room, spreading out and starting conversations. Sebastian, the one you were undoubtedly closest to (as you and his character were practically on the run together), lay down on the black couch beside you. He gave you smile and rested his eyes. 

You looked at the cast again. You loved being part of it all. You had been so nervous to join. You were afraid your young age and shyness would prevent them from liking you at all. You were wrong. You’d never met better people than them. 

“What are you thinking about, kid?” Sebastian asked, eyes following yours. You felt your cheeks warm at the thought of being caught staring adoringly. You averted your eyes to your book and flipped a page. 

“Nothing,” you squeaked. Sebastian chuckled and shook his head. 

“Then what are you reading?” 

“Uh,” you flipped it to show him the cover, “The Cat Who Came In Off The Roof.” 

“What’s it about?” 

“Uhm.. A cat,” you mumbled and giggled. Sebastian giggled too. “Fair is fair,” he said. Indeed, fair was fair. 

“Mackie, what have I done to you?” Tom’s voice caught both you and Sebastian’s attention. He sounded whiny, but in reality he had a playful smile on his lips.

“Man, what haven’t you done?” Anthony was pretend-angry. You couldn’t see it on his face like Tom. You always thought that the bit between them was funny. You smiled.

“List one thing I’ve done to you!” 

“You’re a little narcissist, is what you are!”

“But-”

“Zip it, Holland!” 

The cast (who were all listening discretely) broke into laughter at the twos unending bickering. You were struggling to hold your laughter. You were trying to let it out quietly, so no one would look at you, so you’d just be another person laughing, but the more you tried to hold it back, the more you felt the urge to burst into it.

So you did.

About 3 seconds after everyone else stopped laughing, you made probably the loudest sounds the cast had ever heard you make. You wheezed, and broke into uncontainable laughter, doubling over.

Sebastian looked at you strangely. In fact, everyone was looking at you, a little shocked and amused at the same time. Anthony and Tom exchanged glances. 

“Are you- Are they? Is Y/n okay?” Chris asked and he himself was giggling. None of them had ever heard you say more than a couple of words at a time, and it was always so low, it could be a whisper. Not now, though.

You shook your head, feeling Sebastian’s hand on your back. “I’m sorry!” you calmed yourself, only to laugh once more. “That was.. That was really funny.” 

No one answered you for a moment. You felt yourself getting uncomfortable, knowing you were probably too loud and weird. You focused instead on your book, bristling under their gazes.

“I’m sorry, it’s just- I- We’ve never heard you say anything that loud, outside acting,” Sebastian could tell you were uncomfortable. You looked up at him shyly, smiling sheepishly. 

“You should laugh like that normally, it’s a huge confidence booster!” Anthony joked and everyone giggled again. 

“No,” you mumbled, and honestly only Sebastian could hear you, “It’s too loud.” 

Sebastian looked at everyone else and smiled knowingly. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and ruffled your hair, to which you protested with a groan. 

“Y/n, you should be loud whenever the hell you want. In fact, I only want you to laugh like that. I need the good energy,” he said, releasing you finally. 

“Whatever-” you begun, but before you could brush it off, he said:

“I’m serious.” 

He was looking in your eyes, which just made you shy again. 

“Alright,” you whispered, “I will.” 

Sebastian high fived you, and then jumped up from the couch. 

A set worker soon came back and directed everyone back to set. You almost immediately felt more comfortable. They didn’t laugh at you. They liked your laugh. In other words, they liked you being more loud. 

From then on, every time something made you laugh, you never held back your real laugh. You always just let it go, and soon enough you could see, that when you weren’t hiding yourself out of shyness, people actually accepted the real you, and it made it so much easier to feel like you were good enough to not hide away. 

As you grew up, you always found yourself looking back at the Civil War movie, as the time where you gained your confidence. And it was all thanks to them. :)

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Your dad died when you were seven

You didn’t remember much

A little bit sure

But you didn’t know him at all

What kind of person he was

That hurt you a lot in your life

Your childhood was rippled with trauma of your deceased father

You were always very self aware about the topic

You knew you longed for a father figure your entire life

And it often switched between random movie and cartoon figures

But you never had one

Then in when you were quite a young child you became part of the Marvel cast

You were part of the Thor movies

You joined on the very first one, granted back then your character was a lot less important

But your character was consistent, and grew more and more important in the MCU

It was your biggest achievement 

And of course you grew pretty close with the cast

They were always super nice to you

All of them

But you were closest with Tom

I mean how couldn’t you?

You worked together for no less than 7 years

And honestly Tom was just a bangin’ dude

A super nice guy

You guys watched movies together, discussed video games and music, talked quirky topics, and studied strange history facts together

You were honestly very similar

You had a great friendship and that was it

That was supposed to be it

But given how you were always very self aware about the trauma of not having a dad had given you

You knew something was up

I mean, it didn’t take a scientist for you to figure out that your brain had definitely plopped him in the “dad slot” 

And you hated yourself for it

Why did you have to make things so awkward with your stupid head?

But Tom was too nice and too friendly for you to distance yourself

So your bond to him only got stronger and stronger

You actually called him dad once

“Alright, thanks, dad” you’d said

THANKFULLY he hadn’t heard

But you were grown enough to talk to him about it

You confessed to him one day after having a little bit of wine

Okay, maybe a lot of wine

“You know, my dad died when I was seven, right? Right? So I... My brain does this stupid there where- where it makes random dudes my dad. You know, because I never had one.. And I’m- My brain is sad about it”

Tom was 

I mean

Shocked

But he knew what you meant

He understood 

He said “Your brain seems very distressed” 

You nodded

“Tell your brain it’s okay”

You smiled drunkenly and mumbled something incoherent to your brain

You didn’t remember that night but Tom sure did

You just woke up the next day and Tom was suspiciously nice and smiling.

He wouldn’t admit it, but he loved you too, you know?

You worked together for s o o o long

He always considered you family

He was happy you felt like that, because it proved to him how close you truly were

So he just started being a bit more dad-like

You know

“Eat your veggies”

“Stay hydrated”

“Take a break”

“Want ice cream?”

Dad duties all around

But then he got a girlfriend 

You loved her

She was super nice and adorable

She turned into a wife

You were at the wedding

You comforted her before the ceremony

Then

She got pregnant

And reality came crashing down 

You’d almost been living in this weird reality where he was just your dad

And that was just how it was

But he was going to be having a baby

And the more he talked about it (and not about any of your usual topics)

The more he smiled and giggled and was nervous and excited

The more he longed for it

The quieter

The sadder

And the lonelier you grew

You couldn’t believe it

You were losing your dad again

It made you so angry and sad

And it made you feel hatred towards yourself

Because of course he deserved happiness

Of course he deserved a child

You just thought you were enough

The thought that you weren’t was enough to send you down a spiral

You got very depressed

And for a long time you distanced yourself and got bitter and angry and sad and lonely

And you didn’t say anything

“Only one more month!” Tom would bound onto set with a huge smile and all his coworkers would congratulate him

But someone was missing

You

“Where’s Y/n?” he asked

A confused murmur came from his coworkers

Why weren’t you there? You and Tom were practically dad and child

“They’re in the break room, i think”

Tom ran into the break room with a goofy smile to tell you his baby was coming

Soon

But he was not greeted with the expected atmosphere

He walked in to see you 

Leaned over the table and a piece of paper

A pen in your hand

You were shaking

No, you were crying

Your body raked with sobs

“Y-Y/n?”

You stiffened at the sound of his voice

“What’s wrong?” he came over to you, dropping everything and grabbing your arm and shoulder for comfort

You always loved that. Said it made you feel comfortable

Not this time though

You pulled away coldly, saying nothing

“Y/n.. what’s going on?”

He read the paper in front of you

His eyes widened

A resignation

You were quitting Thor?

Quitting Marvel?

“Y/n! What’s the meaning of this?” he was wildly confused

“I’m quitting”

“Yeah, I got that! Why?”

You paused. 

“It’s not a big deal..-”

“It is a big deal! It’s a huge deal!”

He held onto your arm tightly, “Tell me the real reason.”

“I just.. I thought of you as my father, okay?” your voice was shaking. Tom understood almost immediately. 

“I thought of you as my father, and now I’m realising I’ve been living in this fantasy land, where that is the truth. But I didn’t notice I was just being intruding.”

“I’m resigning so I can stop holding you back with my silly.. Trauma, or whatever.”

Tom was silent for a while. His hand squeezed your arm every once in a while.

“You’re not intruding-” you rolled your eyes “And I’m not just saying that!”

“I knew you thought of my as your father!”

You looked at him. How, you wondered. 

“You told me one night. You were drunk.. That isn’t important.. What is important is that you understand, that my new baby won’t change anything.”

He looked into your eyes. You could see it in there, he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. 

“Of course, you’re not my real child, but that doesn’t matter at all. In my head, you’re my child. Just as I’m your dad in your head.”

He chuckled when you finally broke out in a smile.

“And I know it’s a bit weird, honestly.” he giggled sheepishly “but we’ve been working together for so long, that we just are.”

“We are family.”

You cried. You cried out of happiness, and relief, and fulfilment. 

You had a dad, you realised. 

And you shredded your resignation with the paper-shredder. 

Then you went to dinner together, and you talked about all things baby.

Names, cribs, baby proofing gear and all sorts of other things

In that restaurant, you were happy and content.

You loved him and you loved his stupid baby. 

Whoever they were, they were going to be an amazing human if they were raised by him.

That thought was enough.

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