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threebigolsausages-deactivated2

starbucks barista: ive got a caffe mocha for… “russian spy”?

everybody: [remains seated and eyes each other suspiciously]

barista [throwing his CIA badge at the floor in defeat]: dammit i thought for sure that would work

nfkjfehlkfjlk-deactivated201806

Memes that are funny in 2018 and 1958

dogaesthetics

#yo this dog is in estes??!?!#i'm gonna go find this sweet angel #dogs

hotcommunist-deactivated2019032

me, uncovering a shallow grave of moss and driftwood: hey hozier what’s the mood for pride

hozier, blinking up at the light, awakened from his slumber: the ghost of the lesbian that possessed me when I wrote work song asks that the parades be bathed in light so beautiful it is hitherto unknown outside of the golden hours, that her children be protected, that everyone has a place in the shade to rest with the fawns and magpies, and that cops are drowned.

me, tucking him back in until it’s a new moon: thanks bud

florenceandisabellamachine-deac

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zackisontumblr

my last word will be ‘ope’

ayy-jude

chaotic midwestern

russiansandgod

blanket8989898-deactivated20150

this is a visual metaphor for my little pony

thebootydiaries

Person: Have you seen that episode where…

Me: I have seen every episode, go on

mangocarta

so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

thetalkingcrocus

i was curious (and kinda hoped that kevin was like, the manager of the whole foods) so i googled it and:

gahdamnpunk

#abortion #fuck idaho #fuck that guy

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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toocooltobehipster

theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt

Me irl: No one can EVER know this secret Me to 8k strangers online: You guys will never believe this

30-minute-memes

me🐤irl

switchbladesounds-deactivated20

Jay Pharaoh’s John Mulaney impression

butchmachine

Holy shit

thetaxidermy-ofyouandme

That wasn’t an impression John Mulaney possessed him

sarahcamerons

John Mulaney stops by The Tonight Show

awkwardmermaidhair

God what a mood

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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weheartfandom

me @ me

hydrangeathief

hozier: so yeah im releasing a new album this year and one of the songs is about falling in love at the end of the world and it’s heavily influenced by the current political climate and it’s called “wasteland, baby!” and i hope you like it :)

me, through tears: fucking superb you funky little dryad

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