What the hap is fuckening

🌎 San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA

🛟 this is a gore free blog in terms of pictures ✨ bones and non graphic body pictures will be rare if ever and always cw tagged. THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE ALL LINKS especially in reblogs I do not control those. however given subject matter there may be graphic text descriptions and will be discussion of things like death, cannibalism, etc. read at your own risk ❤️

🐳 nothing else will be tagged rn bc I am tired and very sensorily disabled. hopefully this will change soon enough so I can tag things more and participate more but rn typing and seeing is hard

🪝 this was a somewhat casual occasional hyperfixation for several years lol, particularly Barents and Andree, and bits of Franklin I recalled seeing in a youtube review of The Terror years ago (Nick Hodges this is your fault /affectionate), then Fitzjames was ID'ed, in the months after I became more aware of polar history community and more aware of some of the info resources out there and compelling stories and fell hook line and sinker.

I talked to my aunt briefly today, and she still has him. 60+ years later. she was delighted people had heard of him and went to find him to send a picture immediately.

I had only heard of him from my mom multiple times not actually seen him before. nothing could have prepared me. y'all, here is the legend himself.

one of the hardest things for me right now is looking at black text or stuff on white, and I still don't have a concrete medical explaination from doctors or stuff on WHY, nor a resolution. I read a note that someone shared from a book, an old handwritten thing, etc, and my eyes feel like I just looked at a bright light. my brain feels overwhelmed and frazzled. it can take an hour to recover from reading just ONE, and if I read multiple it can fuck me up for days in some cases. it varies in severity based on the pitch of the white, so like not every single post like that has hurt me, which is why I still post them sometimes (or cause I forget at first then regret it), but it's so hard to have to hold myself back from looking at y'all's posts rn with no ETA on when I will be able to :( bc sometimes that's all I want to do