officially moved to @maurilyan !! āāā this blog will stay up as an archive and i'll be slowly moving drafts + asks over to my new blog! please feel free to follow me over there! ^^ ( old pinned. )
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RMH
Keni

Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
NASA
Sade Olutola

#extradirty

izzy's playlists!
šŖ¼
Peter Solarz
styofa doing anything
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Cosimo Galluzzi

if i look back, i am lost

romaā
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@moonsworn
officially moved to @maurilyan !! āāā this blog will stay up as an archive and i'll be slowly moving drafts + asks over to my new blog! please feel free to follow me over there! ^^ ( old pinned. )

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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officially moved to @maurilyan !! āāā this blog will stay up as an archive and i'll be slowly moving drafts + asks over to my new blog! please feel free to follow me over there! ^^ ( old pinned. )
officially moved to @maurilyan !! āāā this blog will stay up as an archive and i'll be slowly moving drafts + asks over to my new blog! please feel free to follow me over there! ^^ ( old pinned. )
so i do think it's time to remake
"I love you but you're doing wrong in a way I cannot condone" and "I hate you but you're being wronged in a way I cannot stomach" are top tier and I need more of them.

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a quick(?) update!!! (tldr: im getting laid off. but i might have my job back? but i also might not. who knows!)
so the main administrator for my work is not only leaving, but the entire business got sold! we're being acquired and absolutely nobody is telling the staff anything (what's new!). its been Very Stressful trying to figure this all out for myself and my coworkers!!!!
but i do know for a fact that i am *technically* getting laid off at the end of this month. ill either get rehired (but with a pay cut im assuming!) or be. you know. entering my unemployed era as soon as spooky season hits! there's always a chance that nothing happens, but with how things are looking, there'll probably be some big changes in my work environment. we just have to see!!
it's been. very stressful. i mentioned before that i knew these changes were coming which is why im basically working every single day in september and can't be here regularly until afterwards but. there was a meet and greet with the owners where staff & family members could come in and it was just. Not Great. (they were very evasive and rude and bald and secretly evil)
it's all honestly a long story but one im pretty sure i dont really need to explain. we're all just bodies for a company you know? it's always about money and capitalism drives happiness into the ground yadda yadda america!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (can u tell where im at mentally)
so we'll see!! fortunately, i am in a very privileged position where i can go being unemployed for a while. it will just be a huge loss and i know it'll very much suck if it comes down to that!!! but i'm trying my best to get through this month without sprialing by keeping busy and doing lots of irl hobbies!!!! thank you everyone for the continued patience, i am here lurking as much as i can be as always!!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3
i donāt think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought youād become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever
@linament , dodge : a kiss attempting to convince the other party to stay. (10/10 dodge initiating for sure. theyāre arguing and this is his solution)
he's annoyingly persistent: and sometimes, they wish he was a bad man. a worse man. the type of man that leitha wouldn't hesitant grabbing by the back of his head and shoving his face into the dirt. kicking him while he's down.
but dodge is not that kind of man. he's the kind of man that argues with tears in his eyes. the kind of man that puts his hands up in an almost-surrender. the kind that doesn't understand the extent of his own actions. he just acts, just because that's what he thinks he has to do. he acts and doesn't think about the consequences, only about if leitha won't like the results. because if they don't, if they show they don't, just a second of hesitation, a split moment where their features fall from its usual complacency, he's already morphing into someone new. and it makes them so fucking angry.
" it feels like i don't even know who you are. " he doesn't want to go after the killers. after all their hard work, he's tosses it aside like garbage. the ambivalence he wears shines like armor, cuts through them like a blade. he says something but they don't even hear it, their back turned against him and half out of his door. " everytime i learn something new, something exciting, something good - the closer i get to some semblance of the truth, you turn your back on me. pretend like everything is going to be fine. like this is all some sort of sick game to you- "
they had more to say. of course they had more to say. but he's saying something in return, continues to say something, and leitha can't hear it. the saccharine carry of his voice is cut off at the source, the ringing loud in their ears, blocking his drivel from entering. and he could probably tell. because he always can. and he switches his tactics just like they knew he would. and of course, it works.
for a little, at least. it calms them down enough, the feeling of something familiar against their body. his hands on their arms, fingers wrapping around the skin there, his lips pressed against theirs, warm and sweet, his breath filtering through their own. it serves as a reminder. that this is what they could have. lifelong warmth from a tolerant man, an eager man. one that holds his woman close when she's screaming and calms her down with the bruising kiss of love.
their shoulders sag. limp, weak. they not only kiss him back, but deepen it. hold it long enough for the drum in their chest to level and only when it does do they pull away. gently, caring like lovers would. the heave in their throat takes up the space in their mouth now, passing through lips like the beginning of a sob. ā i just don't understand. ā they let him hold them there. they let him do what they wouldn't let any other man (because they know his tricks and they like them. he outwits them each time without even knowing it). they don't punch or scream or run. they lean into him, like they're relying on him. they could give him one more chance.
ā why don't you want to help me? ā there's a pause. a hanging moment clings onto the desperation in their voice. ā just tell me, dodge. you can't keep doing this to me. you can't keep making me- ā he wins everytime. every damn time. and like a child, it's as if they're just throwing a tantrum, incoherent and stupid. ā you can't keep making me lose. it's not fair. ā
ā what do you think that is? should we leave it or... ? ā
@moonsworn, š©µ
mound slick and ever forming, moves once again. sloshes more like, at the far end of the tunnel. these tunnels, the ones that travel underneath the entire city, are dark and slick, aching to eat them alive, to convulse just enough for the walls to trap them in its center. this isn't the first time they've been down here, there is no stone an investigator will not overturn, but it is the first time with another that sticks to their side much like the mud does the bottom of their boot. the tip of their flashlight careens around this corner, peeks first at the abominable thing before their eyes follow. a cringe sneaks onto their features, the disgust (and confusion) clearly written. ā fuck if i know. let's just ... avoid it. if you want to know so bad, you go first then. ā their next steps are as careful and methodical as the last, fugitive of the elements. ā i hate this city . . . ā words are grumbled, low pitched and muffled under their breath. god forbid they have a normal night.
Does it make you happy?
THE LAST UNICORN 1982, dir. Arthur Rankins Jr. and Jules Bass

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@clarkjosephs , clark : ā tell me whatās on your mind. ā
a boy is dead. killed in a home invasion about two months ago. he was young, seventeen and soon would be counting onto the next. his birthday is circled on the calendar that hangs from one flimsy tack on their wall, a red marked reminder that he was leaving the city, scholarship awaiting newly acclaimed chess player. there is a chess board on their desk, the pieces the same spaces as his own, the night that he had died ( been murdered. he'd been murdered. they surmise that much. the police? running with the shotgun-suicide ). the wall, the one with the calendar where his birthday is circled (it's in three days), is covered with the foreboding array of where their mind has been these weeks. personal notes and newspaper articles, prints of the online ravings about his tournament wins, and pictures. god, the pictures. all smiling, forever youthful. trapped in the frame of the camera, resounding cheers and triumph.
they resorted to smoking inside their office now, no futile need to walk to the back alley beside their building to light the perpetual wedge between their lips. the other fills in the quieted space that suffocates the room, weaves between the smell of tobacco and paper and ink. ā don't know how much help i'll be for your next piece. ā half crushed box of their cigarettes is extended towards him, what's left of their common courtesy. the twenty-four hour sign blinks behind them. ā i don't really think p.i's and reporters would get along very well. something about a differing moral code. but hey, i like your writing. you are a great writer. ā genuinity sinks into the back of their throat, eased out as the night wanes on. it's a good guess that he's here for information about the boy. but an unresolved guess regardless. ā how might i help you mr. kent? looking into a cheating wife? ā
ā do you mind if i smoke? ā / @moonsworn, prompt.
it's quiet at this bar. gotta be why he likes it so much. the drinks are served, pours never too heavy (but never too light), and the patrons mind their business. it's the perfect place to escape when the turks' usual bar is too full. rude might not mind the conversation, but he does. ( and that other bar is sacred, a place they go together; he couldn't bear going in alone. ) in here, no one asks questionsā until he's closed off the tab and starts the walk to the nearest alleyway to sober up, it seems.
" it's a free country. " a motion to the near-empty streets around them. yes, even out here, it seems everyone prefers to keep to themselves. it's better that way for everybody. he leans up against the brick just a bit too hard, hoping the motion might break him out of the buzz. " hmm. lemme guess. detective type? "
it's a good cover. a great one, even. because they've done this before. hung out somewhere they didn't belong, sniffing out trouble ( or trouble sniffing out them ) and then boom! a break in a case. the ever happy detective, digging until their fingers are bleeding for the lines that connected all the blurry dots. a massacre of their mind, and people knew it. their reputation stood iron, a skyscraping artifact of the last decade āā leitha will do what it takes, whatever it takes, for justice. for the truth. for finding the secrets of the city, those beholden to them.
they are just another face of the night. they question people, not the other way around, a rule hardly broken. a flurry of red hair and the huff of someone whose drank to much enters their scene, just the person they're looking for. ā what gave it away. ā the low drawl echoes in the dead alley, the dead night, as they lean forward to pass the wedge previously stuck between their lips forward. to share it. ā lemme guess. delinquent type? ā
@scidefy <3
hiatus steph going strong because work is genuinely gripping me by the balls!! to make things easier for myself i will be remaking my multi and consolidating some blogs ! itāll be private and friends centric to make it an easy transition + to kick my ass into gear for writing ^^ it shall be done soon !!
@hojakdo took me a few days but i did it and survived !!!!!!
ā they cannot defy us. ā
@moonsworn, sc.
eating has little to do with hunger. eating, consuming, consumption. the hunger inside ( a deep seated hunger that waits, waits patiently, attention desiring ) has little to do with the act of eating. the hunger can demand many things: soul devouring, god collecting, sex loving, wine indulging, power evident and commanding. and it is not just food that fills a chewing mouth and tense jaw, for eating can be done out of spite, out of boredom. it very rarely means eating for sustenance the elf has noticed, for the times they feel hunger are times such as these. the demand for control, the cracking of bones within their palm and under clenching fingers, a perpetual hope for more and more and more. a cavern that is neverending, an endless swirling cave that digs deeper and deeper. a forever search for the hunger that crawls into a limb, finds a spot warm, curls into something small, and hides.
She speaks the hunger true. She speaks the hunger alive. leitha averts their eyes, turns away from the blood and gore that is splattered at their feet, away from the heavy heaving chests of the still alive soldiers. they are breathing, some unconscious, some unfortunately more than, but all alive. suggestion to make them overwise rings in their ears, makes their skin between their shoulder blades hot and sting. ā leave them. we continue onwards. ā the hunger is too easy to give into, and they know that the longer they wait, the harder they hold on to it, the faster and louder it'll snap. a problem for the future, they tell themselves (over and over and over again). ā stop speaking in parables. we should leave before more of them come. ā
it's the directive that gives her pause. up until recently, she's never been the person that people looked to for guidance. she's always been content to play the chess piece to be moved, the person who stood waiting for what she should do. to be the one who people saw as the expert, the guide -- it unnerves her a little. i trust your judgment. would they say the same, oriana wonders, if they knew of the blood on their hands? the deaths they couldn't prevent. silence stretches if only for a heartbeat, weighing the options and the woman they're guarding with their lives.
ā i agree. if anything happens, then we'll at least be closer to the gates. ā she tries to say it with an air of decisiveness, though part of her still hesitates to give voice to her thoughts. vallaki, at least, is more likely to let them in than krezk. she has no care for the church either, not from lack of any reverence but experience. if the gods existed on this damn plane, they were either toying with her or simply waiting to see what she would do next. ā vallaki then. i know a shortcut through the woods. ā a smile plays on her lips, an attempt at levity. the gun is holstered again in favor of her hands undoing her braid, head lifting to gaze up at the perpetually clouded sky. she wonders what the sun is like, if other people have to worry this way when it fades. ā i would not say no to a pint of red dragon crush. or two, or three. ā
it is easy to play the soldier. this comes from a practiced place. a sacred place. a place where they can venture into and it is familiar, well worn. of a time they do not care for, a time that cannot touch them, someplace far away and elsewhere. because being a soldier means not thinking āā do not think, it'll be safer if you take orders, enact them, move on. do not stop to ponder your actions, just act, worry about the consequences never because they don't matter. you're not the one giving out the orders, you are free from the guilt. the remorse of the battlefield, of the blood spilt into the shifting dirt, that is commonplace. it is easy to find others that share those screaming nights, the nights where you remember a little too much of how blood sprays, of how bones sound when they snap, the cries of your brothers in arms. a soldier. you can be a soldier, that's easy.
a leader? the burden of shame is lain on your shoulders. thus they shift their weight, uncomfortable and known. their cloak is shifted around the woman's shoulders, veiling her features, the red hair, and bringing her into their wingspan. their height enables them an advantage, and they provide a nod to their companion. ā i will follow your lead. ā a silent prayer to her Lunar Lady, wishing for their travels to be masked with her turned face. ā or four. for making it to vallaki in the dead of night? we deserve, in fact, we owe it to ourselves to get absolutely blasted. i cannot wait to sleep in an actual bed. ā
@baroviana <3

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hiatus steph going strong because work is genuinely gripping me by the balls!! to make things easier for myself i will be remaking my multi and consolidating some blogs ! itāll be private and friends centric to make it an easy transition + to kick my ass into gear for writing ^^ it shall be done soon !!
ą¼āļ½” stirring the pot starters
a mix of arguments, tension, manipulation, gossiping, fighting, & general emotional messiness!
youĀ weren'tĀ supposedĀ toĀ hearĀ that.
don'tĀ lookĀ atĀ meĀ likeĀ i'mĀ theĀ onlyĀ oneĀ lying.
wantĀ toĀ tellĀ them,Ā orĀ shouldĀ i?
youĀ thinkĀ iĀ don'tĀ knowĀ whatĀ youĀ did?
i'veĀ hitĀ peopleĀ forĀ less.
oh,Ā iĀ thoughtĀ youĀ alreadyĀ knew.
that'sĀ funny,Ā youĀ didn'tĀ sayĀ thatĀ lastĀ night.
sayĀ thatĀ again.Ā iĀ dareĀ you.
youĀ wannaĀ talkĀ aboutĀ loyalty?
noĀ offense,Ā butĀ ifĀ you'reĀ theĀ lastĀ toĀ know,Ā that'sĀ onĀ you.
goĀ aheadĀ -Ā pretendĀ likeĀ itĀ wasn'tĀ yourĀ idea!
theyĀ deserveĀ toĀ knowĀ theĀ truth.
youĀ didn'tĀ hearĀ thisĀ fromĀ me,Ā butĀ -
oh,Ā soĀ nowĀ youĀ care?
don'tĀ flatterĀ yourself.Ā youĀ wereĀ justĀ convenient.
youĀ crossedĀ aĀ line.
weĀ hadĀ betsĀ onĀ howĀ longĀ itĀ wouldĀ last.
it'sĀ notĀ evenĀ aĀ secretĀ anymore.
youĀ don'tĀ getĀ toĀ cryĀ aboutĀ itĀ now.
touchĀ meĀ againĀ andĀ seeĀ whatĀ happens.
sayĀ itĀ again.Ā louderĀ thisĀ time.
youĀ reallyĀ thoughtĀ nobodyĀ wouldĀ findĀ out?
don'tĀ actĀ soĀ innocent.
okay,Ā butĀ amĀ iĀ theĀ villainĀ forĀ laughing?
tellĀ meĀ whoĀ elseĀ knows.Ā rightĀ now.
thisĀ wholeĀ time,Ā andĀ youĀ didn'tĀ sayĀ aĀ word?
don'tĀ actĀ braveĀ now.
you'reĀ reallyĀ gonnaĀ doĀ thisĀ here?
itĀ wasn'tĀ supposedĀ toĀ getĀ thisĀ far!
youĀ can'tĀ rewriteĀ history.
oh,Ā i'dĀ neverĀ sayĀ itĀ toĀ theirĀ faces.
itĀ wasĀ supposedĀ toĀ stayĀ betweenĀ us.
we'reĀ allĀ thinkingĀ it,Ā iĀ justĀ saidĀ it.
you'reĀ notĀ asĀ untouchableĀ asĀ youĀ act.
doĀ youĀ evenĀ feelĀ guilty?
theyĀ warnedĀ meĀ aboutĀ you.
goĀ ahead,Ā makeĀ itĀ worse.
ifĀ youĀ repeatĀ this,Ā i'llĀ denyĀ everything.
theĀ nextĀ thingĀ outĀ ofĀ yourĀ mouthĀ betterĀ beĀ anĀ apology.
you'reĀ aboutĀ threeĀ secondsĀ awayĀ fromĀ regrettingĀ this.
youĀ keepĀ pushing,Ā andĀ i'llĀ pushĀ youĀ back.
they'reĀ goingĀ toĀ findĀ out.
oneĀ moreĀ lie,Ā andĀ iĀ walk.
they'reĀ lyingĀ toĀ you.
youĀ needĀ toĀ backĀ off.Ā now.
you'reĀ defendingĀ them?Ā afterĀ everything?
don'tĀ tryĀ toĀ hideĀ it.
tellĀ me,Ā wasĀ iĀ justĀ aĀ placeholder?
youĀ reallyĀ thinkĀ sorryĀ fixesĀ this?
there'sĀ nothingĀ leftĀ toĀ say.
don'tĀ actĀ likeĀ you'reĀ theĀ oneĀ hurting.
iĀ don'tĀ oweĀ youĀ anyĀ explanation.
whateverĀ helpsĀ youĀ sleepĀ atĀ night.
youĀ should'veĀ seenĀ thisĀ coming.
iĀ hopeĀ itĀ wasĀ worthĀ it.
iĀ toldĀ theĀ truth.Ā justĀ notĀ allĀ ofĀ it.
you'llĀ missĀ meĀ beforeĀ iĀ missĀ you.
smile.Ā you'reĀ ruiningĀ theĀ mood.
i'dĀ watchĀ thatĀ toneĀ ifĀ iĀ wereĀ you.
it'sĀ notĀ myĀ faultĀ youĀ believedĀ me.
youĀ haveĀ suchĀ aĀ talentĀ forĀ pretendingĀ you'reĀ innocent.
weĀ bothĀ knowĀ thisĀ isĀ over.
iĀ neverĀ saidĀ iĀ wasĀ aĀ goodĀ person.
iĀ thoughtĀ youĀ wereĀ different.