your knight. your friend.

indeed he is.     the simple sound of the carriage pushing forward makes natsu sick to his stomach,    but the movement is what knocks every force out of him and the dragon slayer collapses on the seat,    curled in on himself.     even forcing himself to stay awake and sane doesn’t work at this point.

he wades through a sea of red lilies,   ripping them out of the ground by the roots,    consciousness slowly taking hold of him,   despite the efforts to keep him docile.   it was his exhaustion that hindered his strength,   his kagune slowly repairing itself from the aftermath of battle.     a single fleeting thought :  stay down,  stay here,   in the field of lilies where rize keeps you safe.    yet,   it’s gone as quickly as it came,    whatever she was about to say,    it was cut off by someone more important.    his hand reaching out to take hold of the source of the voice.   “   hide.   ”    shush,   he wants to say,   go back to bed.   but when his fingers graze,   they don’t touch skin,   skipping along the bandages that took up most of his side.   “   hide.   ”     he says again with more urgency,   eyes shooting open and into a sitting position.     “   you’re awake,  it’s been almost a day.  ”    bloodied bandages wrap around his side,   and kaneki inspects them tenderly,   calculating in his head when they might be changed next. 

the one on his leg was the worst of them,   but he had done as much as he could do with it.    it was the wound on his shoulder he took the most interest in. before pulling at the bandages,   he glanced up at the boy with a human expression,  full of human concern.   the creatures in his head fighting him the entire way.   somewhere,  deep in the chasm of his sanity,  a voice with a a hundred pair of legs crawled into his ear.   [  he was so tasty,  human flesh tastes the best on the bone!   have another bite,   i’m so hungry.   ]    the sweet lingering taste of salt and iron on his tongue flipped his stomach over,   but he resists.    there has been enough pain,   enough disgust,   enough brutality.   they took his soul,   his kindness,   his toes,   they could not take his best friend, too.    the very thought has him close to tears,   but he holds it together for hide. ignoring the imprints of his own teeth on skin,  and the way his tongue craved the taste, he speaks shakily,    “  what woke you?   was it me?  i’m sorry.   do you need anything?   ”

“   has it?   man,   i must’ve been exhausted.   ”     exhausted from seeing the bloodbath between ccg soldiers and ghouls,    exhausted from looking out for kaneki for months,    exhausted from bleeding out on the floor of the cafe shop that is no more.      despite all the pain,    hide finds it in himself to smile and laugh it off.    it’s not important now.     he will heal  -  inside and out  -   and he will do his best to not let kaneki leave once more,    unless that is truly what he wishes.    though judging by the look in his eyes,    the honesty and concern,    hide knows it won’t be until long before they will part ways.     he silently hopes that they never do.     hide tenses when kaneki’s fingers pull at the bandages and reveal the ugly bite,    the flesh exposed.    if he’s lucky,    he won’t get an infection.     if there’s a god out there and it loves him,    he might even heal properly.    there’s a small tremble in his muscles,   though not from the memory of kaneki’s teeth sinking into his shoulder,    but from how intense the pain becomes with every moment he’s sitting up.

“   hide,    i’m at work!   ”    he hisses in an urgent hush as his cheeks turn lily red.   glancing over his shoulder he pretends to become focused on the freshly pot of brew warming the air. the smell of espresso overtook the the scents from everyone in the shop,   all except one.  his stomach did a desperate flip,   and then he composed himself.   “    oh,  you want coffee.    ”    he covers his mistake with a nervous smile and grabs the nearest mug.   ceramic clinks against the counter and he starts to fill the cup,   “   i’m covering for touka,   i’m sorry i should have let you know i’d be working a double shift.   ”    he doesn’t elaborate much beyond that and forces his mouth into a wide grin.   a moment goes by as he avoids the bright eyes staring him down.   [   be cool,   hide is smart,  he’ll know something’s wrong.   ]     “   i’m not really supposed to be giving out free coffee,  so you can’t tell anyone.   i’ll buy your secrecy with two cornetts. ”