Hear me rant!

I confuse people. i have a happy personality and a sad soul. i'm bold but shy. i love deeply but sometimes i feel heartless. i'm healing and hurting at the same time. i'm dedicated to growth, but i self sabotage

one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.

“Okay here’s the list of chores I want to get done today” I tell myself before having sudden full body fatigue from seemingly nothing

"I don't give a fuck" I do give a fuck. I give a lot of fucks. I am a whore of feelings.

do you ever just read a book and feel the need to analyse every single metaphor, deeper meaning and write thousands of essays about it?

still healing from things i don't speak about, i just take it day by day