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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

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tannertan36
Not today Justin
YOU ARE THE REASON

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@heroesnevercomehome
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Crisis Core would be infinitely funnier if Zack also received emails from Genesis, but it's blocks of Loveless text. I fully believe Zack would've lost his mind by the third email. Nibelheim would've been averted because Zack sees Genesis at Hollander's lab and chucks his boot at him before flying into a murdererous rage. Sephiroth witnesses Zack choking Genesis with his own book and it heals him in a way therapy never would.
I just think they would make good friends
Anytime, Anywhere (ft. Reno, Sephiroth, Zack, and Cloud)
Warnings: smut, fem!reader, not edited, semi-public sex
A/N: If this does well I might do a part two with Rufus, Tseng, Vincent, and Reeve.

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Give you what you like - SephGen:
As always, don't like don't read! I will 100% admit that this is inspired by that Avril Lavigne song, and I won't apologise for it.
Angeal, passing by the training room, catches sight of Zack scrolling through a PHS, Sephiroth sitting casually on the bench beside him. A scowl crosses his face as the doors slide apart and he stalks inside.
“Zack! What do you think you’re doing? I specifically took away your phone so you wouldn’t get distracted.”
Zack, having stiffened from the bark, glances up with cornered eyes. He swallows.
“Erm—“
“He is not distracted,” Sephiroth cuts in smoothly, glancing up himself to confront the approaching Angeal.
“Oh really?” the man folds his arms.
“Yes, really. We are simply looking at a list of potential missions for him to take on. I’m the one who lent him the PHS, as he didn’t have access to his own. I was quite shocked to be frank.” Sephiroth’s stare hardens a bit. “Perhaps you should have thought about the device’s necessary resources to a SOLDIER before commandeering it.”
Angeal is struck silent. The scowl had quickly faded from his visage, now replaced by a more stunned, almost humbled look. Sephiroth nods in approval.
“Now, if you will excuse us, we would like to return to work.”
There’s a beat, before Angeal returns an understanding nod.
“Right. Thank you, Sephiroth. I appreciate your diligence with him.”
“Of course.”
Zack and Sephiroth watch the man leave, staring at his retreating back until the doors have shut and Angeal is out of sight. Only then does Zack let out a sigh of relief, smiling impishly.
“Phew. That was a close one.”
Sephiroth nods in agreement, stern, before a resurfacing smirk breaks the facade. He glances back down at the screen.
“Show me the video with Genesis shouting at a stop sign again.”
Genesis: “Yoink” is the opposite of “yeet.”
Sephiroth: Yes. But just as fast.
Genesis: The Lord yeeteth and the Lord yoinketh away.
Angeal: *looking down from the window* I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me instantly upon impact.
Goddess forgive me…
Exploring the Crestholm Channels dungeon got me like…
I imagine Noctis and Gladio end up arguing after spending 24 hours just wandering around the sewers just fighting daemons non-stop, trying to look for Cindy’s headlights and trying to find their way out.

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bed time with da boys (da boys being Cloud Strife and Zack Fair ofc)
I think the entire Nibelheim incident could've been avoided if Sephiroth owned a cat. I know if I had a cat I wouldn't let myself go insane because who else would feed Breadstick?? Who would pat it's tiny head and boop it's paws??
(Sephiroth at the Shinra mansion) "I need to calm down, Breadstick needs me."
The Rooftop
Zack wants to share something with Cloud. What could it be?
They were barely together before they all hit the road. They hadn’t even defined it between the two of them let alone thought about announcing it to their friends.
Gladio’s hands palm at Prompto’s ass and his hips press him against the closed door.
They still haven’t defined what they are.
“They’re gonna be here in like, three minutes,” Prompto says — words pulling into a whine as Gladio drags the scruff of his beard up the side of his throat.
“Plenty of time,” Gladio says roughly, teeth pressing so softly against Prompto’s skin. He whimpers at the mark that could be there but can’t.
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Angeal: You know, Zack, you're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for.
*later, at the bar*
Angeal: *crying into his beer* It was word-for-word! I sounded just like her!
Sephiroth: *pats Angeal awkwardly on the shoulder* There, there.
Angeal: He even rolled his eyes at me! He's nineteen!
Genesis: Come on, Angeal. Everyone turns into their mother eventually.
Angeal: *bawling* I'm only twenty-five!
*in other bar*
Kunsel: Let me sort it out. You have crisis because Capitan Hewley sound like "mom" more like your actually mom?
Zack Yea.
Cissnei: *gets him a drink* I'm telling this with all my love to you Fair: I wish I had your problems.
Zack Fair is literally the perfect boi he's never done anything wrong and he deserves ALL THE LOVE and no I will not ever change my mind about this
Kinktober Masterlist