moonlight

“ugh!” lacie’s breath was heavy, she was sweating, and she was in pain and annoyed. why did she think that having a home birth would be a good idea? she had no clue. but here she was, propped up with pillows on her bed with one of her siblings between her legs instead of her midwife because the baby decided to come a week earlier than planned. “please let me push, i can’t — i need this baby out now,” she said with a sob. it was true — she tried to hold off on delivery for as long as possible while her midwife drove the four hours from where she was on vacation, but she was still at least an hour away and lacie couldn’t hold that baby in any longer. while she knew this was awkward for her sibling, she honestly didn’t care anymore because she just wanted her baby out of her body and in her arms.

alyssa’s open starters (liz gillies fc)

she was beyond pissed. here she was, starting a new life, she had a little girl with her now-fiancee, they were expecting their second in a few months, and they’d been trying to get married but couldn’t. because her husband never signed the divorce papers she sent years ago. so one could only imagine how irritated she was. so she decided to leave the little one at home with her fiancee and pay a visit to her supposed to be ex-husband. so here she was, standing at his door. she almost regretted it the second she knocked, but then the door opened. and there he was. lacie’s brow rose, arms crossed just above her growing belly. “oh, do you?” lacie asked. “cause, it’s a little ridiculous that i had to come all the way out here just for you to acknowledge it.”

lacie was irritated to say the least. she more on her plate than she could handle and she was terrified she was going to lose her job. she thought being an actress and a singer would be a blast, like it always was when she imagined it. and she did have a good time most of the time. but lately, her manager had been pressuring her to do more, and they were things she was uncomfortable with. so when she turned down a job today and her manager quit on her because of it, she just wanted to go home and lay in bed. so that’s what she did. walking into the house, she ignored the company evan had over and went to her room, face planting into her pillow. it wasn’t long before she heard a knock and she turned her head to the side to answer him. “come in...” lacie said with a small sigh.

“this!” she said, gesturing between the two of them. “us! there used to be an us, remember? and now i feel like it was just a lie, i feel like i got lead on to believe that this whole thing was something more than what it is,” her voice cracked. “i’m tired of not knowing what’s going on, i need you to talk to me and tell me what we’re doing!”

“you were so amazing out there,” she said, hugging her back. “that was just pure, raw talent and i’m a little jealous.”

"well, your little angel doesn't pay rent either and we let her stay," lacie said playfully. "how bout you, tubs?" she asked, tickling ben's sides gently and getting a small giggle out of him. "are you gonna start paying rent or do we have to sell you on etsy?" she asked. "auntie says sell stuff on wish," kaitlyn said. "yeah well, i can't do that. i have to sell you guys on etsy because i made you." lacie smiled and nodded, smoothing ben's hair down a little. "it's not tough at all. not now that we have it down, but it still wasn't terrible when we had katie. i have more good memories than bad ones," she said. "me too. can you imagine how crazy and fun it's gonna be once the new ones get here? it's gonna be a blast."

“i came to see you slay the stage --- which you did!” lacie said with an excited smile. “i’m so proud of you, you were fantastic.”

“it’s okay when i say it, i’m mommy,” she said playfully. “yeah, we do. we should get a memory foam one. it’ll help with the back pains and be more comfortable during the birth too.” she wasn’t able to do a home birth with kaitlyn. some she was so young when she had her, but she was able to with ben and loved the experience, even if it was painful. “she does feel a little warm, though. were you sleeping with your head under your blanket again?” she asked. “yeah, cause monsters can’t get me if they can’t see me,” kaitlyn said, resting against theo. “do you feel sick or do you feel okay?” lacie asked. “i’m okay, just tired,” kaitlyn said. “okay. tomorrow, daddy will find all the monsters and make them leave your room so you don’t have to have the covers over your head. i don’t like that, it makes it harder to breath. daddy, don’t forget to make the monsters leave in the morning,” lacie said.

lacie’s brows furrowed. she hated hearing the ‘it isn’t you, it’s me’ excuse. “why? there has to be a reason, and if it’s not me doing something wrong, then what is it? we can fix it, but we have to talk about this. i’m tired of the back and forth, i miss you...”

“i’d do anything for you, you know that,” she said as she followed her. “i’ll bite my tongue as much as i can. but listen, once it gets personal... i’m going outside, i won’t stand for it.”

“oh, it’s a thing. i went to colorado to visit a cousin once. we went to the rockies, aaand we were up so high i puked until we got down far enough. it sucked,” she said, looking at the menu for a few seconds. “i think i’m gonna get the blt. i thought about the bacon cheese dog, but... i don’t like how i look eating hotdogs and i gotta keep it cute.”

“calling you daddy is what got me pregnant,” she joked. “uh, correction --- the best looking couple. people magazine said so.” while theo was gone, ben had decided he was finished eating and was sitting up in his mother’s lap, playing with her hair. lacie had him laughing by the time theo came back in with kaitlyn, giving the teething ring to ben and handing him his snuggle blanket, which he cuddled right up to as he leaned against her chest, chewing at the teething ring. “that’s alright, they can keep us warm since we can’t make our own heat with them in here,” she said. “we need a california king. this bed is just too small for four people,” she said before pushing kaitlyn’s bangs out of her face. “what are you doing awake, missy? did bubba wake you up or are you starting to not feel good?”

“he did, and he did so good until he fell. that made him sad. but auntie everlee made him all better and gave him a popsicle... and then rinsed him off in the pool,” she said with a small laugh. “yeah, i’m always the one that has the problems, but it’s because you got me pregnant, so it still falls back on you, daddy,” she said. “they’re adorable. i don’t think it’s possible for our kids to get any cuter.” lacie wasn’t conceited in the least --- but she did think her kids were among the most beautiful in hollywood. even the magazines said they were. “yeah. i put it in the freezer. will you get a binky too? and his snuggle. he’s gonna sleep with us tonight.”

“then what’s the damn problem?” she asked. if she did do something, she just wanted to know so she could work on fixing that part of herself. “if i didn’t do anything, then what got us to this point? am --- am i not satisfying you? am i not a good girlfriend? what?”

“basically. i mean, we only had kaitlyn. and she was already potty trained, so we didn’t have to worry about dirty diapers from multiple kids. this time we’re gonna have three butts to wipe and we gotta worry about this one running off in the middle of a diaper change, cause he’s gonna be actually walking soon. he took his first six steps without help today, daddy,” she said. while kaitlyn had started walking at around ten months old, ben was just barely learning to crawl at that age, and now he was still working on walking and holding on to something. she was glad he was finally reaching milestones, but it still broke her heart that he’s not going to be a baby for much longer. “hey, you’re part of the reason you can’t have boob time, you’re the one that gets me pregnant, which causes me to lactate, which is why you don’t get boob time cause i’m not about to leak everywhere and get all sticky. i’d rather be sticky because of other things,” lacie said before tapping ben’s nose. “hey. be easy with those teeth, mister. no biting.”