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[This is basically Shinji would be in denial to how true each step is lmao :^))I had an exorbitant amount of fun writing this rippi’ve just been listening to jazz love songs all throughout writing this lmao]

NSFW WARNING

An Article in the SSWA Magazine Monthly

A Step by Step on How to Get Into Shinji’s Pants by his S/O Against his Protests

Step 1; Use shitty pick up lines on him such as;

Your body is a Wonderland and I’d like to be Alice

Is there a cellphone in your back pocket? Cause that ass is calling me!

I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!

In the event these don’t work it is advised you use one of these to fluster him;

If i were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile

Step 2: Make him a mix tape so he know you want him for more then sex;

Recommended songs include;

Always by Frank Sinatra 

I Wish You Love  by Frank Sinatra [for a pining child]

Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You by George Benson

Venus by Rick Springfield

But you can never go wrong with lots of Frank Sinatra give em the ol jazzle dazzle

Step 3: Tell him all the things you like about him;

his dorky smile and laugh

dorky ties

him in general

Be honest about the things you don’t like;

his mind games

the way he acts as if he isn’t important

how he refuses to believe you love him

Step 4: Make sure to show lots of affection;

greet him with a kiss

or a hug

don’t hesitate to cuddle him

Keep reminding him that you care;

by saying “I love you” in the morning and at night

taking lunch to him at his office bc he’s to busy to leave

having a bath drawn or dinner ready when he gets home

Step 5: Have some sappy loving sex;

Another sad scenario i imagined about Rukia’s wedding. 

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But i love you guys, so i drew a smexy bonus where they remember their first kiss (the image above) and we can forget the sadness. (?)

WOW It is perhaps a birthday gift? I feel angry and happy at the same time … FUCK YOU KUBO!!!