The Asseater's Pledge
I WILL SNIFF before licking. A Man’s ass deserves to be savored. Inhaling its odor is a sign of respect and reverence.
I WILL LICK INSIDE AND OUT. Licking only around a Man’s asshole — and not also inside it — is deeply offensive because it indicates the asseater thinks it is above the act of putting its tongue inside a shit chute. An asseater is NOT above the act. In fact, it is below it, literally and figuratively.
I WILL NOT HESITATE, no matter the condition of a Man’s ass. An asseater must have no fear and no trepidation. It doesn’t matter if a Man’s ass is clean or dirty, smooth or hairy, sweaty or downright shitty. An asseater must eat, completely and with gusto.
I WILL EAT ASS “AS IS.” See above. To expect a Man to bathe before feeding me His ass is disrespectful of a Man’s valuable time, not to mention the fundamental superiority that His ass possesses over my face. An asseater may not discriminate.
I WILL NOT TOUCH MYSELF when eating a Man’s ass. His pleasure is my own. Further, to divide my attention between His ass and my cock is discourteous; His ass deserves my full, undivided attention.
I WILL NOT TALK WITH MY MOUTH FULL, although it is acceptable in between bites to thank a Man for the privilege of eating His ass and to communicate how enjoyable the taste and odor is.
I WILL MAKE MYSELF AVAILABLE to eat a Man’s ass on His terms, to the best of my ability. A Man should never have to use toilet paper or soap to clean His ass when an asseater can do the job, instead.
I WILL KEEP EATING until told to stop, no matter what. An asseater is nothing more than a chair with the added feature of a tongue; therefore, a Man should be able to do anything while sitting on an asseater’s face that He can do while sitting in a chair, including but not limited to sitting full weight, farting, putting His feet up, etc. Further, a Man must feel free to sit on an asseater for as long as He would sit on a chair, whether minutes or hours.
I WILL PUT EATING BEFORE BREATHING. A Man should be able to sit on an asseater’s face — full weight — for as long as He likes. It’s not His responsibility to provide air to His asseater; it is only His responsibility to provide ass.
I WILL NOT PENETRATE a Man’s ass with my finger(s). A Man’s ass exists to be worshipped, sniffed, eaten and cleaned; only a faggot’s ass is for fucking, whether with finger, toy or cock, and a Man is NOT a faggot.
I pledge these things because I am an asseater, because I am in awe of Men, and because I am at their service.
Wish i could slightly edit this. 5. You will not touch your cunt while eating.
Go ahead pigs, learn, memorise and repeat.
Maybe, just maybe, you’ll be worthy to be my fart sniffing, shit eating, ass cleaning pig.
I live by this
omg this is my new prayer
