You know what they say, about boiling a frog? How if you start with cold water, the frog doesn’t notice the heat going up?
One morning, you notice that your underwear feels a bit snug. You favor 100% cotton, so they must have shrunk in the wash. You buy some new ones - in a bigger size, just to account for that darn shrinkage. You also decide to get a new pair of your favorite jeans. You are surprised that the size you’ve worn forever is a little difficult to zip and button around your waistline, so you select a larger size. They’re cutting everything smaller these days, it seems.
At work, a colleague comes over to your office. They freeze in their tracks and stare at you. You ask if anything is wrong. They blush and say that you might want to think about a bigger shirt. Huh? You look down and see the fabric straining across your midsection. The button directly over your navel is hanging on for dear life, and you see little slivers of belly peeking out between the buttons. You explain that you’ve had some trouble recently with your clothes shrinking in the wash. Sure, they say, backing slowly out of the room.
You go home to your partner, who comes out of the kitchen to greet you. Delicious smells also greet you - they are such a good cook. It’s great not having to think about cooking for yourself anymore. As you shrug out of your coat, the button pops off your shirt. Damn laundry service, you think. You turn toward your partner and their eyes widen, a wolfish smile playing on their face.
You stomp off to the bedroom, yank off your clothes, and step on the scale. When you see the number, you get off and then on again because surely this thing is broken, but no, the verdict is the same.
Fifteen pounds?! You’ve gained fifteen pounds?!
How is this possible? When did it happen? You look in the mirror and see your belly pooching over your new, larger undies. You pull on sweatpants, noting how the fabric pulls across your thighs and ass. They used to be loose!
Your partner enters the bedroom and watches you watching yourself. They walk over, then hold you at arms length, appraising your fuller figure with pleasure.
“Finally,” they say, turning you slightly to the side. “I knew you had potential. If you keep eating the special meals I’ve been making for you, you’ll get even sexier.”
“I don’t get it,” you reply. “You cook healthy meals for me.”
“In theory, but the extra butter, oil, and cream I’ve been adding to everything helps. How else was I supposed to plump you up?” They pat your belly appreciatively.
You are so confused. You’ve spent so much time and effort staying fit. Isn’t that a prerequisite for a relationship? But now your partner can’t keep their hands off you, running their hands over your newly padded curves, squeezing a back roll. You have a back roll?
Your partner pulls out a box of your favorite chocolates, encouraging you to try one. You are torn for a moment, contemplating the new layer of pudge blanketing your body, feeling how snug the sweatpants are around your waist and over your ass.
After all, your partner is looking at you as though they could eat you up.
