Monstrous Morsels

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Here you'll find original shorts and links out to my other works (both published and free on my website, bakecookieswritesmut.com) and occasional reblogs of quality works similar to my vibe (tagged #reblog).

I write romantic erotica, often of the monster-loving variety. If you like weird, winsome, introspective, expressive, kinky, downright delicious, relentlessly erotic stories... then this is the place for you. ;)

I'm currently taking requests! Would love to get themes, premises, even prompts you want to see completed.

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Sins of the Fetish Ch 5 [Cult of the Lamb Fanfic]

We line up, and each get our drinks. His is foamy and almost savory, while mine is fruity and sweet. “This is good,” Jaliar says, chugging his beverage. I laugh at the little bit of foam that sticks to his lips, then drink mine just as fast. It is really good. And it’s nice to just spend time with Jaliar and the others, without working or having to make up excuses to chat. We hang out by the new drink house, chatting and laughing. And then I start to feel warm. And then I start to feel… strange. “Do you feel funny?” Jaliar asks. “Because I feel…” He bursts out laughing. I dissolve into giggles after him. “I feel really funny. I like it.” I slide up to the bar, leaning over the wood. My balance is off, so I end up leaning way harder on the wood than I mean to. “Naon! I want moooore.” I hold my cup out towards him, and it wobbles in my hand.

Sins of the Fetish Ch 4 [Cult of the Lamb fanfic]

The next morning, my growling stomach brings me to Jaliar before the sermon. “How was it?” he asks urgently. “We didn’t find them yet,” I say sadly, tail trooping. “But she promised she’ll keep looking.” “Well, I meant… being possessed by a demon.” I blink at him. “That’s what that was?”

Sins of the Fetish Ch 3 [Cult of the Lamb Fanfic]

“Why? Why does she do all this? It still seems too good to be true.” Jaliar looks thoughtful at this. “She gives us… purpose. A second chance. Sometimes… sometimes we are asked to make sacrifices. For the mission.” “What is the mission?” “It’s what we labor for. Why she goes out on the crusades, and brings new followers back. It’s what we all work towards.” “Yes, but… what is it?” Jaliar laughs, warm and rich, like I just told a funny joke. His eyes sparkle again, so I know he’s not making fun of me, but I don’t get it. “What?” “Isn’t there that thing people say? Curiosity kills the cat?” “Oh…” My cheeks are hot again.

Sins of the Fetish Ch 2 [Cult of the Lamb fanfic]

I follow Berjre into the building, which I now realize is more of a temple. It’s simple polished wood inside, with a lectern near the back, where the lamb waits patiently. We all assemble in front of her, and I try not to be obvious as I search out Jaliar—he’s on the far side, looking up at the lamb with reverence. I don’t want to offend Berjre, so I wait by him for the moment. As soon as everyone is inside, the lamb begins. “Welcome, my devoted followers. Blessings upon another day.” “We receive your blessing,” all the creatures reply together, earnestness ringing in the words. I glance around, feeling left out. “You’ll get it tomorrow,” Berjre whispers assuringly. “Just listen today.” I nod, pulling my red smock tighter around myself. “It was a dark day when I met the blade,” the lamb continues. “And all the lambs were slain,” the group replies. “In the land of death, I met the one who waits.” “And who waits still.” “I am the chosen vessel, and Death cannot halt me.” “Death is not the end.” “As my sacred Followers, my blessings are your blessings. “And your mission is our mission.” “So shall it be.” “So shall it be.”

Sins of the Fetish Chapter 1 [Cult of the Lamb Fanfic]

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 11 of 11 [Last Chapter]

Aubrey’s plan worked like a charm. At first, they didn’t even have to go out and find anyone—men were constantly asking how to get a strange and unusual specimen of their own. Aubrey needed only invite them for an after-hours private VIP session, ply them with a bottle of wine, whisper longingly in their ear, slip a silk blindfold around their eyes, and each little seedling had an easy first meal, imprinting complete. Little did those men know when they left the flower shop with their very own strange and unusual specimen tucked under their arm that the next time they felt that particular call of nature (which would be unusually soon, given the aphrodisiac nature of the seedlings’ secretions) they would feel inextricably drawn to the strange little plant. “From there,” Aubrey Two had explained, “they’re pretty much addicted. Isn’t that right, Seymour?” “I-I mean—well, I did care, I—I chose to… didn’t I?” Even when he wasn’t full of eggs, thinking about life before Aubrey Two felt… hazy. The Aubreys giggled conspiratorially.

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 10 of 11 [Little Shop of Horrors Parody]

Just as Seymour realized he could hardly bend over to clean up, Odin popped through for an order, and Seymour ordered him to clean it up. The glassy-eyed Odin obeyed. Seymour made a little more progress on the numbers with frequent breaks to relieve himself. He was not so desperate by the time the shop closed, and while nursing on Aubrey Two had him feeling needy again, he didn’t mind feeling a bit pent up as he swept the floors. The next few days passed in much the same way, Seymour growing more and more accustomed to his new proportions. His sense of balance adjusted, and he felt like he could go on that way for quite a while.

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 9 of 11

Seymour woke late the next day on a bed of mulch bags in the store room. It was surprisingly comfortable, especially since the mulch had been stacked to accommodate his strange new (hopefully temporary) proportions. Seymour felt slightly queasy from the fullness—like he usually did on Thanksgiving—but otherwise no worse for the wear. The sound of Odin’s voice from the shop should have startled him, but the pollen must have kept some effect, because it didn’t immediately bother him. He listened closely and heard both Odin and Mr. Gushnik—taking orders from Aubrey. It was their voices, alright, but otherwise sounded nothing like them. They were all “Yes, ma’am” and “Right away, ma’am,” and their tone had a dreamy quality. “Miss Aubrey,” Gushnik ventured, “I think I need a break.” “Finish the Westin order and then you can go right ahead.” “Thank you, ma’am.” A few moments later, the store room door swung open and Mr. Gushnik stepped through. His eyes were so dilated, they were nearly black.

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 8 of 11 [Little Shop of Horrors Parody]

The shop was still quiet, meaning it was before opening, and the door to the shop swung open to reveal Aubrey gilded in a beam of morning sun. “Rise and shine, sleepy head! Time to get to work!” Seymour did as he was told. It was familiar to have someone tell him what to do, and while it was a bit strange to take orders from Aubrey, it was certainly an upgrade from Mr. Gushnik. Aubrey Two perched proudly at the front of the store, and while she was not much larger, she did look particularly lush and vibrant. As the day went on, Seymour’s body recovered. And as memories of the previous night flashed unbidden through his mind every time his eyes landed on one of Aubrey Two’s tendrils (which was a lot, because they had overtaken the whole store) his arousal ticked up another notch.

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 7 [Little Shop of Horrors Parody]

“Say, Aubrey. Do you want to go for dinner? Together? To celebrate?” “Oh, Seymour, I… I’m just still a bit worried about Odin. And now Mr. Gushnik too? Something just doesn’t seem right…” Seymour tried not to look nervous. “Say, I don’t want this to come across the wrong way, but… why do you miss Odin? Maybe things would be… better if he didn’t come back?” Aubrey bit her perfect lip. “Odin’s no saint, that’s for sure, but… I hope he’s alright. He could be a bit tactless, but… we had an understanding. I dunno though… even if he does turn up… I think maybe this was the universe telling me, ‘Aubrey, it’s time you take some time for yourself for a change.’” “Aubrey, don’t sell yourself short. You know you could have any man you want.” “I know,” Aubrey said, as if it was as simple as clouds meant rain. “But maybe there’s… there’s something I could do if I really tried. I could… I could be a librarian, or a hair stylist or…” Aubrey Two said, “You could own your own flower shop.” Aubrey looked up, eyes wide, and Seymour spun on his heel. Standing behind him was Aubrey Two in all her sultry, unclothed glory.

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 6

Mr. Gushnik stalked out from behind the counter and Seymour led him to the front of the shop. Gushnik was too distracted to notice, but Aubrey Two’s tentacles coiled in every shadow like vipers ready to strike. “R-right here,” Seymour said, leaning over one of the plants in the front window display so that his and Gushnik’s backs would be towards Aubrey Two. “I don’t see it,” Gushnik said. “It’s right there,” Seymour insisted, leaning closer. The vines rose and loomed behind them, but Gushnik still didn’t notice. “Is it a plant thing? You know I don’t care if the plants are—” The vines struck, coiling around Gushnik, gagging his mouth and restraining his arms. Gushnik struggled, but a vine bearing a purple bud lifted in front of his face and the bloom unfurled with a burst of pollen. Gushnik gasped in a big breath of it, and moments later, his eyes were black and glossy as they dilated with arousal.

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 5

As Aubrey grabbed her coat to leave, Seymour noticed her smile was a bit dim. “What’s the matter, Aubrey?” “Oh, it’s just… Odin didn’t come by last night. And then he wasn’t at his place. It’s probably nothing but… I’m starting to get a bit worried.” “I’m sure he’ll turn up,” Seymour said. “Unless… I don’t know, would he have skipped town?” “Without sayin’ something or taking me along? I dunno…” “Hm. Yeah. It’s just that… well, no, that’s unkind.” “It’s just what?” “Just that he doesn’t seem to be the most… reliable, y’know.” Aubrey frowned, her perfect lips becoming a perfect pout. “Maybe…” “I’m sure your Ma would love to see you,” Seymour said. “And maybe she’ll have some ideas.” Aubrey’s sad expression brightened, and it was like the full force of the midday sun coming out from behind a cloud. “Yeah. Thanks, Seymour.” She squeezed his arm, kissed him on the cheek, and flounced towards the front door. A thud from the supply closet pulled both their eyes back towards the storeroom door. “What’s that?” Aubrey said. “Is someone there?” Odin had finally woken up, it seemed.

~*~*~

Odin moaned with rapture like he was beholding the gates of heaven. But as Seymour caught a flash of Aubrey Two’s blood-red eyes, he realized something that should have been obvious before. If Aubrey was an angel, then Aubrey Two was a devil, right from the depths of hell, all sin and sensuousness and violence.

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 4 [Little Shop of Horrors Parody]

Seymour waited nervously by the back door of the shop, cursing himself for not coming up with a better plan. The loud rumble of a motorcycle engine announced Odin, and Seymour opened the door and beckoned him inside before he could smash through it, as was his usual MO. Odin sniffed at the shelves as Seymour lead him through to the main part of the shop. “Gross,” Odin said. “Dirt. It’s… dirty.” And then he laughed so hard at his own joke that he doubled over and Seymour had to wait for him to catch up. Odin wiped the tears from his eyes as he stepped into the main part of the shop. “Y’know, when you asked me to meet you alone, for a second I thought… is this guy gonna try to beat me up? I see how you look at Aubrey, but then I was like… this is plant guy! Of course not! You couldn’t even swat a fly if you wanted to!” Seymour’s remaining sense of guilt shriveled into a wisp. He started to wish something much worse than rapturous ecstasy awaited this scum ball of a human being.

Breed Me, Seymour Ch 3 [Little Shop of Horrors Parody]

Disappointed, Aubrey II drooped against the edge of its pot. “I know you’re hungry,” Seymour said. “But you can imagine how I feel. You’ve taken everything I have. I’ll have more tomorrow. You’ll just have to wait.” Seymour turned to leave. And the voice that called after him dragged manicured nails through his hair, down each of his vertebrae, and down the entire length of his cock. “Feed me, Seymour.” It was the most sultry, feminine voice that Seymour had ever heard. Nothing like Aubrey’s shy, soft notes. This voice brimmed with desire, with command. “Feed me, Seymour.” Seymour turned slowly, every muscle stiff, every hair erect, just like his cock. There, perched on the edge of Aubrey II’s pot, was a strange and unusual creature that seemed to have been lifted out of the recesses of Seymour’s imagination. Aubrey II’s petals had unfurled, forming something like a skirt around the hips of the most beautiful feminine torso that Seymour had every seen—because it looked exactly like Aubrey. With hair made of layered petals, skin supple but green, and blood-red eyes that nearly glowed, the plant-woman was like an exact copy of Aubrey and yet something entirely other-worldly.

Breed Me Seymour, Ch 2 [Little Shop of Horrors Parody]

Seymour was so exhausted that it was the incessant chiming of the shop bell that finally woke him from his dreams of domestic bliss. Seymour cursed himself, hastily threw on his clothes, and stumbled down the stairs before Mr. Gushnick could fire him for being late. But the store’s proprietor was too busy chatting with clients at the front of the shop, wheeling and dealing bouquets left and right as the customers marveled at the even brighter, better, and notably bigger Aubrey II. Seymour could hardly believe his luck and he shuffled towards the counter in a bit of a stupor. “Mornin’, Seymour!” Aubrey chimed. “I don’t know what you did, but it sure did work!” Seymour’s cheeks flashed hotter than a Texas summer day at the thought of what exactly he’d done to bring Aubrey II back from the brink. “Tender love and care works on most things,” Seymour said sheepishly.

Breed Me, Seymour Chapter 1 [Little Shop of Horrors Retelling]

Seymour tried to ignore the tightness in his pants as he walked to the front of the store, picked up the closed sign, dusted it off, and hung it back on the door. Then he double locked the door, just in case Odin decided he’d forgotten something. You’re disgusting, he thought to himself. But his heart beat faster. Really pathetic. But the memory of that pink lace trim flashed through his mind again. She doesn’t deserve a pervert like you. But his pants tightened another margin. Seymour shook his head as if the thoughts were loose pebbles he could dislodge. He turned his attention to Aubrey Two: in more ways than one, his future. He picked up the pathetic looking plant, which seemed to wilt even further.

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