product of persistence

If anyone is wondering, im alive, im clean and sober. Im not using tumblr anymore. This will be my final post. Goodbye.

You passed away infront of me today. I think a part of me left with you. You will always hold a place with me. I will carry your memory. I will always be there for your girls like I promised you I would. Friends Forever B.L.T.

Happy 30th birthday Jon.

Self doubt takes a hard grasp on my neck as i try to swallow the grit of life in some dire attempt not to choke to death on it. My eyes pop out from tear swollen sockets with pressure in my head from the grip around my throat as i force the grit down to this pit of a stomach. Born coughing on life or crying it out.

Lifes only hard when you believe it to be so. A different mindset has me living freer than before. Greatful for a camp toilet parked up in a garage when i didnt have a bathroom. Greatful for couches and cots while i need them. Greatful for any shower i ever got. Greatful for dandruff shampoo when the well water was no good. Greatful for cold ground water when there isnt any hot. There is a saying that life can be as hard as you wanna make it, but it depends on your standards. Simple & functional is all i ever needed. Standards dont have to be low, just simple enough to get by unscathed. If im out here beliving its good, then it'll be good enough for me. I just need some simple enough, some good enough.