FULL NAME: Natalie Nordegraf
OCCUPATION: Musician, Record Producer and DJ
AGE & D.O.B.: 26 / March 10th, 1994
ORIGINALLY FROM: Monleon, Florida
HOW LONG THEY’VE BEEN IN TOWN: 17 years
TW: light mentions of drugs and abandonment
Raised between New York and Florida, Natalie Nordegraf’s life was always a dichotomy of pushes and pulls, but then again, they were the type who loved working against the status quo. Their earliest memories were of white picket fences, people coming to their beck and call, and the quaint, pictorial scenes from their bedroom balcony―marble fountains and a great verdant lawn where they usually ran about, lost in a world of their own. Their early life was very much a spectacle: behind the scenes, nannies and professional caretakers played the part of their mother, and in the spotlight, on dark stages before the flashing paraphernalia of paparazzi, their mother played the part she had forsaken for the sake of freedom. Natalie, far from being a true conglomerate of Charlotte’s ornamental grandeur and Thomas’ natural born charisma, tried to smile through it all despite their discomfort with being in the spotlight, both a shot of malt and its remedy combined in a sweet dose, auburn-haired and brown eyed, a flaming glory which was only waiting for morning to bloom.
A pop of color in any landscape and incredibly ironic in a sense that was often viewed as different; they were the giggle at the funeral, the kid living in the phrase “go big or go home”. Growing up as a small celebrity in a big state, it wasn’t only the family money (vintage Porches, two rugged Golden retrievers, a snapping flagpole in the circular drive through), but the reputation which preceded them; which came to define the Nordegraf’s only child. Their family had long forged a straight and scenic path before Natalie, smoothing out every possible inconvenience that could have risen. Thomas was the money and the name, Charlotte his beloved, docile wife; and Natalie—well, Natalie was the one who seemed to break up the image of their perfect family, the one who appeared in the doorway, bright-eyed and tousle-haired, clothes stained with grass stains. Wild, unrefined.
Natalie was born with the kind of brain that took some growing into. Not necessarily on their part; they never questioned their own peculiarity when it was the rest of the world that seemed to lag a pace behind. Truthfully, Natalie was happy to be Natalie, but they were never happy being lonely. They loved having friends, few as they came, fleeting as they were. Lanky for their age and awkward, they sought out human connections eagerly and did not fail for lack of trying; making other kids like you was just a little harder when they seemed to exist on a different wavelength, and communication across frequencies didn’t come easily to them. When everyone else rushed outside to play kickball or hopscotch, Natalie spent their recess indoors—tapping at the glass of the classroom’s monarch tank, craning their neck nearly ninety degrees to solemnly peer at the hanging chrysalises. When the girls were chatting away about TV shows and giggling about their classroom crushes, Natalie tried to join in with a lively discussion about the latest Lord of the Rings book they’d just finished or their current favorite band to listen to—but got nothing but dirty looks in return. Once, after watching everyone else trade Pokemon cards at lunch, Natalie had brought in hand-made cards of their own creature inventions and shared them around happily. They’d found them all crumpled in the trash at the end of the day, the drawings crudely vandalized. At the time, they didn’t really understand it, but the reason for their ostracization was simple: “gifted” did not cancel out “weird” in the eyes of other fifth-graders.
So like most oddballs and offbeats, childhood was simply a waiting game for Natalie. There eventually came a time when being different was no longer the leprosy of the playground, and dragging around an over creative mind didn’t always get in the way of every social interaction they attempted. Being quirky was no longer weird; it was admirable, enviable, a label that came with it’s own inverted cool factor even in the face of the letterman-wearing jocks and pony-tailed cheerleaders. Now that the barriers had been lifted, their friendly and extroverted personality left them with no shortage of friends. Their quirks flourished in the company of those who could appreciate them. High school was also an era of enlightenment for Natalie in other ways; with their extraordinary knack for learning multiple instruments and blossoming love of all things artistic, they’d never even realized how starved they’d been on the music and art curriculum of their previous years until they started teaching themself. From the first time they learned to read sheet music to holding a guitar in their hands, they felt the click of something falling rightfully in it’s place. It didn’t get much closer to love at first sight than that.
For someone who’s brain had seemed to have a decent enough start, their personality took longer to fully bloom. Maybe it was those early years of classroom and home isolation that had stunted it, or the fact that even their identity needed some time to catch up with their creative flow; whatever the case, only by their last years of high school did the “weird girl” start to resemble the real Natalie Veronica Nordegraf: finally coming out as queer and non-binary, of eccentric style, multiplying tattoos, and the speaking rate of a NASCAR engine. The strange, colorful appearance gave off one impression; opening their mouth into an excited conversation about making synthesized music beats or the latest episode of Attack on Titan turned it into entirely another. By the time they embarked upon their four years at University, Natalie had self-actualized into such a bundle of contradictions that everything about them seemed designed purely to baffle people—but truthfully, they were never the kind of person to blueprint their personality.
Their parents decided that it was better off keeping their one and only child away from the spotlight for fear of extreme scrutiny concerning their peculiar nature. Unsurprising as Natalie hadn’t ever truly felt seen by their parents—especially after coming out. Their relationship with Charlotte and Thomas was always a difficult one, if anything non-existent. Still, when Natalie was just a freshman in college, their mother had a mid-life stroke and it affected them all the same. Natalie was ready and willing to drop all their classes and fly home on the next available flight, but their father assured them there was no need for such drastic measures—they were to stick to their studies, and things would be just fine at home. And they were, for a while. Charlotte battled her way through a long, slow recovery to retrain some of the functions she’d lost, and regain pieces of the charismatic, sharp-witted woman she’d always been—until the second stroke blindsided them all. This bleed was worse than the last. It was a hemorrhage Hiroshima that wilted Charlotte Nordegraf overnight, and wiped her personality clean like a hard drive. Natalie didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to their mother—the real Charlotte, not the empty husk that had replaced her by the next morning.
Their mother’s steep and sudden decline was a fissure that would eventually crack the family completely in two; Natalie, helpless and frustrated in grief, found themself blaming their father for not prioritizing their own mother over a year or two of school. Maybe being at home would’ve helped her. Maybe it would’ve changed things. The crack soon widened into a chasm when their father admitted that he was looking into long-term care facilities that could provide for his wife better than he could; Natalie protested vehemently, but argument after argument amounted to nothing. From that moment on, Natalie let the distance between them grow without so much as another phone call. Taking on one part-time job, then another, Natalie found that a constant stream of work kept their brain a little too exhausted for them to continue on with their studies. Eventually, instead of becoming a security blanket school became a burden; and Natalie found themself dropping out.
The next three years passed by in a blur after that; they shacked up with some friends turned roommates, got a few new tattoos, learned more instruments, and tried to focus more on their passions despite the unresolved trauma they carried with them. Eventually, Natalie moved inside the old house that their father never frequented and that they grew up in—entirely too large for one person but they found a small solace in the space surprisingly. Ever since, Natalie has tried to anchor their life as best as they could in their hometown. Though their family is now a family of their own choosing: people who love them as unapologetically as Natalie loves them. Though their heart may still ache for what has been lost, it’s a pain that will soften with time; for now, they are content to find comfort simply in belonging. All those years of loneliness, all that time spent hungering for friends to call their own, and it’s back home in Monleon that they’d found their place—and the utmost fulfillment of a puzzle piece that’s finally discovered where it fits.
They prefer to dwell in the positive. Natalie’s passions include music, playing gigs with their band Dommy Mommy Propaganda, gaming, learning to play new instruments, animals, burgers, fries, beer, and lots of weed. On a typical night out, Natalie will be amiable, easygoing, give off a lot of himbo/bimbo energy while being effortlessly awkward. As they talk weightlessly, you may notice a sadness lurking behind their eyes. As they swig their beer, you may also notice them absently thumbing the tiny, claw-machine silver pendant that hangs around their neck—the rare gift from their mother. Though they still dare to dream big; they are currently getting into producing and putting more of their music out there.
NATALIE NORDEGRAF is portrayed by BRIGETTE LUNDY-PAINE and written by TOMMIE.
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