Momnoms

Herbert James Draper - A water baby

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

That’s an excellent question, and I’m glad you asked. I’ve been thinking about making this post for a while, so I’m going to assume curiosity rather than a veiled attack. After all, I think it’s an interesting question.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children for a lot of reasons. The most direct answer is, I was encouraged to be encouraging by a bunch of the moms I know. In particular, a couple of them who are doulas/lactation consultants expressed a need in the world for more men to be vocally supportive and encouraging of breastfeeding, and felt that too few are, but they really appreciated my vocal support and encouraged me to keep it up.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I believe normalization means I’ve got to post it in a blog full of Volkswagens and trains to take it past just the parenting crowd.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because it’s adorable.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I hope they’ll perceive it as a sign of support, though some do not get the intended message.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I don’t see it as weird, but just as something I am in favour of.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I like to fill my blog with positive things despite the sea of negativity one finds on the internet.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I hope people will see it and remember the simple things in life are the most important.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I want people to see it so much that they don’t find it unusual anymore.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I have no children due to infertility issues and we both want them more than I can express, so all I can do is be supportive of those who do and hope perhaps someday we can adopt.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because my wife got super gung-ho about it during her first miscarriage and sold me on the idea so well that I’m still doing what I can to encourage it over a dozen years later.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I understand the benefits it offers the children.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I understand the benefits it offers the mother.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I’ve come to really respect them for what they go through, and for the BS they put up with but shouldn’t have to.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because it’s just that important.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children despite knowing some people will take it the wrong way. I don’t take it personally, and I assume someone has done something to make them percieve it that way.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I think it brings a vital bit of humanity into a blog filled with so many machines.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I want people to understand that both mother and child are still as human as the rest of us, and that there is nothing wrong with that.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because I grew up in a neighbourhood where I saw it all the time and I have trouble understanding how people can see it as weird, gross, or unseemly, and I’d like people to experience just a little bit of the same level of normal with it that I had growing up.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because these moms deserve all the encouragement we can give.

I reblog mothers breastfeeding their children because we live in a world where people feel the need to question how it will be percieved, and I’d like to see us all get past that and just appreciate what they’re doing for their children.