mom things

Being a mom is tough. Being a new mom is even tougher. Not only do people think you’re absolutely clueless, they treat you as such. You feel like a glorified incubator in that moment when you get bullied into doing certain things to and for your child and begin your journey down the spiral of self-doubt. First stop, depression. I think not. And this is not to say that you should ban all advice, it is to remind you that you don’t have to allow anything to happen to your precious cargo that you don’t want to happen because at the end of the day you have to live with the aftermath of it all and how can you perpetuate something you don’t believe in and feel like a good mom for it?

You’ve got to take charge by making the decision everyday that this life-long trip with your child belongs only to the pair of you and that you have the final say as to what happens with yourself and your baby. Make that decision and empower yourself every day.

You cannot separate a mother from their child. It’s sinister. You cannot say you love a child but not respect their mother. It’s just plain nonsensical. Get rid of anything that makes you think you can bypass me to get to my kid just because we don’t see eye to eye. You will humble yourself and show some respects or I ought to send you back to whichever hole you’ve just crawled out of to make your own cutiepie. We don’t co-own this baby. You didn’t sign for it so go through the right channels or just stay away. I will not raise my child around that kind of vibe, and believe me, children can sense these things. Anything or anyone that leans in the direction of any attempts to separate me from my spawn will be eliminated from both our lives. Only because aunt nobody got time for all that drama.

As a new parent, I have one rule: No rules

The internet is loaded with news and lifestyle articles giving parents tips on how to raise their children. Much effort goes into the research, writing and publishing of said articles.

And while those who write on the said topic take on a variety of views, be it subjective, scientific or objective, others tackle the topic with a combination of the aforementioned.

It is the writer’s responsibility to remain true to themselves, their cause, message and research. By the same token, it is the readers’ to do the same in terms of their interpretation of the article.

Not all of what the writer writes is meant for application in our lives albeit consumption. Fact is, all cases may be similar but not the same and that is enough to deem parenting a unique experience.

While parenting can be a daunting task, the onus is on the parent to do the “behind-the-scenes work"to ponder, to strategise, to action and of course problem-solve.

One could even say that is a description of only a fraction of what parenting entails but let’s not confuse the specifications for parenting with the how-to of it.

There are many ways of being a parent and one must figure it out as they go along. It is great to prepare for the experience but at the end of the day things don’t always turn out how we would picture them and having set ideas that we refuse to compromise on leaves one pressed for solutions.

Seeking advice is always good because the experience of another can cut the journey short for you and probably make it a little smoother but always take into account that no two experiences, or rather perceptions, of an experience can ever be the same.

If you wish to use advice given to you then, by all means, knock yourself out but at least tailor-make the roll-out plan.