He hasn’t stopped thinking about their conversation yesterday. Knowing her name drove him madder than he anticipated, and he spent some restless hours in the early morning, tossing under his sheets, her name falling constantly from his lips.

He was more than ready to see her today. He woke up feeling hungry, wanting to know more, earn more, of her life. And he felt like she might’ve given it to him, based on the way she’d stared at him.

But not tonight. Because Suna had to go and be greedy, wasting both of their time at the Siren’s Den, falling for a bartender whose job was to hate him. He’d literally fallen for the stripper, and Issei was the one who was paying for it.

Issei stormed the length from his apartment to the Mosaic harder than he needed to. The fall months were turning to winter, and the bite of the cold air was going to push him over the edge.

About five minutes into the walk, he reached a crossroads. Turning left, the way he normally walks, was Kumonoue. Just around the corner, beckoning to him with a desperate plea. He didn’t even know if she’d be there, unsure when her shift started or ended. But, he could always try.

Against every urge in his body, he continued forward. Immediately into the alley of the Mosaic, where a few people, fresh off work, glared at him from under hoods and scarves.

Muttering a ‘sorry’ as he passed by, he unlocked the door, and started the worst shift of his life.

~~~~ 

At 9:30, Issei’s phone rings. It’s his normal alarm, telling him to get to work. He’s once again reminded of where he’d rather be right now, as opposed to elbow deep in the toilet, cleaning out someone’s way-too-early-in-the-night vomit. 

Groaning, he pulls off his gloves to turn the alarm off. He takes this opportunity to switch his playlists, admittedly growing a little sick of the dad-rock he’s been consuming non-stop for the past week. 

As he clicks around, he notices the activity tab. 

User 491319874615 Better in the Dark • Jordana, TV Girl

And Issei, having the worst shift of his life, surrounded by puke, smiles. 

~~~~~

At 3 AM, Issei’s ready to go home. The night picked up for him, despite less customers than normal. He carried on, completely powered by the fact that she listened to a recommendation of his.

He’s debated whether to tease her or be sincere about it, or even bring it up at all. She had to know that he’d notice her activity, but a private part of him wanted to keep this knowledge to himself.

As he locks the door of the Mosaic behind him and steps into the street, the early morning air takes his breath away. He buries his head further into his collar, and begins his trek home. The roads are pretty empty, except for a few late night stragglers. A few minutes in, the person in front of him turns left, and he’s all alone.

Issei doesn’t often feel alone. He’s got good friends and he likes his own company. But the quiet night, wind whistling past his ears and trying to chill him to the bone, can get to him.

He thinks about her.

He thinks about her voice, her name, her eyes. About that secret little notebook she has, and the drawing she gave him with the receipt. About how that might be her way of flirting, and he’d be more than okay with a million more drawings of his little red triangle.

“Why are you following me?”

It takes him a second to realize that her quiet voice was actually talking to him, and not just in his head. He looks around to see her pressed against a doorway, hands clenched around her keys, eyes terrified.

“Woah! Woah. I’m not, I promise.” He puts his hands up and steps back to give her space. Issei’s never seen her look more vulnerable.

She doesn’t believe him. Her fingers tighten even further, and she brings them up closer to her chest.

“First, you come to my place of work. Every day. Then, you learn my name after admitting to trying to look me up. Then, the very next day, you don’t show up and instead follow me for blocks at three in the morning?” 

She’s unable to cover the cracking in her voice, so raises it instead. If Issei thought she was like a scared animal before, he was sorely mistaken.

He’s not quite sure what to do.

He takes more steps back, until he’s a road away from her.

“It’s not like that, I swear. I would never hurt you, you have to know that.”

 She doesn’t move from her stance.

Issei feels frantic. Just a second ago, he was picturing their future, feeling like he finally had an in. Now, his world is crumbling around him. 

It’s a desperate plea, hoping to ease her fear in any way. Even after promising not to use it. 

He calls her by name. His voice breaks, just like hers.

She finally blinks, momentarily stunned. 

“I know what it seems like, I promise.” Issei continues, praying to anything holy that he doesn’t mess this up. “But it’s not. I come to your work because I like you. I had to open today, that’s why I didn’t come. And I live just down the road-” He points down the direction they both were walking, “-that’s why I was here. I never meant to scare you, and if I am, I promise I’ll leave you alone. Forever.”

There. All his cards, out on the table. Maybe it’s too far, but right now he’d do anything to make her stop looking at him like that. It’s breaking him.

Several moments of silence pass, and she stares at him. Issei lets her, always willing to give her anything she needs. 

She relaxes just slightly once she sees his terror mirroring her own. Issei dares not to move.

A few moments more, and she takes a deep breath. 

“Ok.” 

He doesn’t know which part she’s agreeing to. When she makes no further moves, Issei resigns.  

“I’ll go ahead,” he offers, “so that you don’t have to worry about me following you any more.”

She nods. 

He does the same.

As he takes what he fears might be the last look he’ll ever get of her, Issei feels helpless. His heart starts to cave in on itself, and paired with the icy air, he’s got no air in his lungs. His vision starts to blur, and he lets it.

He steps off into the empty road, and begins the aching walk home. Issei feels very alone. He wants more than anything to look back one more time, to go back in time and wait inside the Mosaic for just five more minutes, to do anything to fix this horrible situation he’s found himself in. 

But he knows he can’t. So he doesn’t.

Issei walks the rest of the way home in crushing silence, completely aware of the crunching footfall of her boots from far behind him. He finally makes his way to his building, and the thought of not looking back one more time would kill him. 

He pauses, and looks. She’s following behind him, an overly safe distance away, arms wrapped around her. At least he doesn’t see her clenching her keys, a fact he’ll have to cling to. 

Calling out to her, hoping anything changes, he says, “I’m on the third floor. The one on the corner. I’ll turn on the light once I’m in there.”

She just nods, and stops walking. She ducks into another doorway, and waits for him to leave.

Issei’s heart breaks a million times over again.

“I’m so sorry.” He tells her, hoping that she hears. He doesn’t try to hide his sadness.

When she makes no moves, Issei turns away again. He pushes the building door, climbs the stairs up to his apartment, and flicks on the light.

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