Rant post that I hope no one I know sees.
My sister ODād today, last week she told me I was crazy because she wasnāt using and she wasnāt strung out. I distanced myself and I get a call from my parents that she is in the hospital and unresponsive.
Why was my first thought I hope she dies?
Does this make me a horrible person?
Now Iām balling my eyes out because my older sister who was amazing to me growing up. We shared a room and she would let me fall asleep first because she snored so loud. She was great with the kids would pick them up and take them to parks and camping.
I feel so helpless. She has hepatitis C now that she doesnāt get treatment for. She has ODād 3 times in 5 months and she blocked ME on Facebook for writing her about it. My mom is a huge enabler and my dad lives 5 hours away.
I donāt want to do this anymore. I want her to die so it will be over. Her organs are failing they had to use 3 narcans so I know her heart is going through a lot. She is only 33. Addiction is awful and itās easier when itās someone you donāt care about.
I donāt know what else to say. Thank you tumblr for listening or not. Whatever.
Shortly after this post I blew up on her and she blocked me on social media. Itās been two years now and we donāt have a relationship even though she got clean. I guess I will never get my sister back. But I think she is not on drugs and I am happy for her.
wow looking back at this post is chilling. I'm not going to delete it but I feel like shit for saying all of that about her. She is still sober and I am beyond proud of her. She doesn't even drink even though half of my family are functioning alcoholics that drink in front of her. Alcohol was/is a big trigger for her. I know she probably struggles but she handles it so well.
Basically if you are reading this it's never too late. I was wrong, SO WRONG. People do recover and it's so worth it.
