ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF
ASSORTED QUOTES FROM TUMBLR TEXTPOSTS, X (formerly known as twitter) POSTS, TIKTOK, MEMES, AND OTHER SOURCES AROUND THE INTERNET
CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.
SPECIFY muse for multimuses.
โย ย Currently considering becoming a bother and a nuisance, maybe even a menace or a rascal. โ
โย ย Hungry? Eat the government. โ
โย ย Yes, I wanna fuck after every argument. โ
โย ย Silence, you uneducated peanut! โ
โย ย They should invent a being alive that isnโt so difficult. โ
โย ย Women have to think Iโm hot or none of this matters. โ
โย ย Due to personal reasons I will be named an enemy of the state. โ
โย ย Being overdressed is a myth made up by people who didnโt want you to have fun and be sexy. โ
โย ย What even are daddy issues? Just traumatize your father back. โ
โย ย I LOVE complaining! You canโt take that away from me! โ
โย ย I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you. โ
โย ย Iโm simultaneously โIโm tired of this grandpaโ and โthatโs too damn bad!โ โ
โย ย The word ew coming out of a pretty girlโs mouth holds so much power โฆ I think that it can tear apart nations. โ
โย ย Someone made fun of my shoes and the whole time I just thought of ways to push them out the window. โ
โย ย If youโre short, simply get taller. โ
โย ย I better think twice? Buddy I donโt even think once. โ
โย ย My off putting looks, awkward demeanor, and strange behavior have captivated you. โ
โย ย Thereโs something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. Can we kiss? โ
โย ย You are a fool. When you walk, clown music plays. โ
โย ย I mean yeah heโs evil and all but what if I were his favorite? โ
โย ย I really do hate thinking. โ
โย ย In my defense, I simply do not vibe with the law. โ
โย ย Iโve done nothing wrong. Except all the atrocities. Besides that, Iโm innocent. โ
โย ย Sorry I couldnโt hear you over my internal monologue. โ
โย ย Of course you have white hair and trauma. โ
โย ย So apparently the bad vibes Iโve been feeling are actually โsevere psychological distressโ. โ
โย ย Stop calling me a bad person just because Iโm orchestrating your downfall! โ
โย ย The more lip gloss I collect the longer I live. โ
โย ย Sorry that I am obsessed with you in the unhealthiest way possible. As if it's my fault โ
โย ย The multiple failed assassination attempts against me have helped build both character and self esteem. โ
โย ย I could be your loser boyfriend. Do you ever think about that? โ
โย ย Accidentally went and got myself killed yesterday, but god wont let me die so Iโm back โ
โย ย What do you mean napping isn't a good coping mechanism? What do you mean my problems are still here? โ
โย ย Academic validation is required for my sanity. โ
โย ย RIP to everyone killed by the gods for hubris but Iโm different and better. Maybe even better than the gods. โ
โย ย Researching the stages of grief to see if I can get them finished in ten minutes tops. โ
โย ย My parents were like Iโm gonna make a child that is so beyond help. โ
โย ย Itโs not easy to admit when youโre wrong, and thatโs why I wonโt do it. โ
โย ย Why canโt this family ever have a funky good time? โ
โย ย How do I show people that Iโm more than my unethical career choice? โ
โย ย I fucked my way into this mess, and Iโll fuck my way out. โ
โย ย You look so biteable today. โ
โย ย Why am I suffering? I have so many correct opinions and takes. โ
โย ย I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST THAT I CANNOT GO BACK TO! anyways โ
โย ย Challenging authority, angering gods. The family business. โ
โย ย Third base is me telling you about my father. โ
โย ย Hey girl. Plagued by terrifying visions? โ
โย ย Got caught giving a fuck. Embarrassing. โ
โย ย I didnโt โmissโ the red flags; I saw them and thought that they looked sexy. โ
โย ย Do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot? โ
โย ย I get my news from the only reliable source, cryptic symbolism in my dreams. โ
โย ย Another day of being a bisexual disaster. โ
โย ย Iโm going to let myself be a little unhinged today, as a treat. โ
โย ย Some of you act like murder is such a big deal. โ
โย ย You wanna hunt me for sport so bad that it makes you look stupid. โ
โย ย Youโre not a girlboss unless youโve killed someone. โ
โย ย Itโs so weird how no one ever has correct opinions about things except for me. โ
โย ย Hello, my love โ I mean, my rival โ
โย ย No one is calling me baby and itโs outrageous I canโt believe it. โ
โย ย No talking stage. Mutual obsession and you see god in my eyes or nothing. โ
โย ย I DONโT UNDERSTAND HOOKUP CULTURE DIE IN MY ARMS โ
โย ย Yes baby your emotional walls are high and impenetrable can we kiss now? โ
โย ย Affection is disgusting. Drown me in it. โ
โย ย I am gatekeeping my respect from you. โ
โย ย Well, well, well, if it isnโt the consequences of my own actions. โ
โย ย I am equal parts fuck around and find out and please donโt yell at me Iโll cry. โ
โย ย Short legs, big butt. Iโm a corgi. โ
โย ย Fuck being the bigger person; Iโm going to start biting people. โ
โย ย Well that wasnโt very slay of you! โ
โย ย May I please get a crumb of affection? โ
โย ย I crave power! Please donโt yell, though; Iโm sensitive. โ
โย ย You call it a near death experience; I call it a vibe check from God. โ
โย ย Here are some scissors. Now cut it out. โ
โย ย Might commit a little tomfoolery, maybe even some shenanigans. โ
โย ย All these flavors, and you choose to be salty. โ
โย ย How can I live, laugh, love in these conditions? โ
โย ย What if I said โto be honestโ but then lied? โ
โย ย I'm financially at a stage where I understand why people do fraud. โ
โย ย Yes I may be evil and morally corrupt, but Iโm also incredibly beautiful and I think that makes up for it honestly. โ
โย ย Debates are stupid. Why would I want to sit down and argue with someone blatantly dumber than me? โ
โย ย I forget but I do NOT forgive.. I'm just walking around hating bitches can't remember why โ
โย ย Ding dong your opinion is wrong! โ
โย ย Iโm coming for your kneecaps. โ
โย ย You dropped your nose you fucking clown. โ
โย ย Are you a fire alarm? โCause you are really fucking loud and annoying. โ
โย ย Call me an escalator, because I let people down. โ
โย ย I love me a good lesbian scandal! โ
โย ย If you canโt run away from your problems, youโre not running fast enough. โ
โย ย Everything I want to do is illegal. โ
โย ย Donโt make me hit your ankle with my Barbie scooter! โ
โย ย I tell gay jokes because I am a gay joke. โ
โย ย Fuck! I dropped my mental stability! โ