mlle.duplessis

Masks

Are you the same person, when talking to your loved one, your family, your friends, your colleagues? Or does your personality change from person to person, from situation to situation? Is it all just part of one bigger picture, or is it not sincere to have more than just one face? ___________________ This film is a result of an experimental chain-project within the art-collecitve Artfusion Berlin. 

Poetry: Esther Tchlakichvili 

Music: Michael Tschijow 

Performers: Esther Tchlakichvili & Elisabeth De Mont

Masks: Elisabeth De Mont & Esther Tchlakichvili

Just give me a clean piece of paper and let me think. A clean cut - let me think. 

Head is empty I couldn’t concentrate in forever. Foooor ever. Garbage is coming out of my fingers, literal garbage. Imagine, little boxes and sacks filled with dirt coming out of the tips of my fingers and landing on the keys of the laptop - who uses paper anymore anyways? Environmentally unfriendly. Also I can change the font however I want to- great. Less pressure to write, more fun to play. Gotta play with something - since I deleted my instas and facebooks and tumblrs from my phone - of course I’m on tumblr, I’m a millennial, wh0 writes. (had to google if I really am a millennial, since rn everyone seems to be one and at the same time everyone has an opinion on how such a millennial feels, and what it does and what it eats for breakfast.) 

Now back to me, always back to me pls. 

Always back to me - I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I.

I AM UNAPOLOGETIC ABOUT THIS! I AM A GROWN UP. A STRONG, INDEPENDENT, UNAPOLOGETIC WOMAN - I DON’T NEED ANYONE. Hahahaha.

So what is next on my agenda? My life? Great. Only what to do with that - can’t I share it with someone? Here you have a piece, and you too - no worries, there’s enough for everyone! Don’t want that much of it, too much responsibility. The ability to respond but ability with I - I am able to respond to all your questions my friends - it’s gonna be great/ huge/ fantastic… (aaaaaaaah)

Belegen

Legen

Gen

________

Neg

Negel

In dein grinsendes Gesicht

Und verfremdet dieses Lächeln

In grausame Grimasse

Denn was als Vergnügen begann

Endet in der Völlerei

Versuche dich zu fassen

Zu verzichten

Aber unter diesen Umständen

Ist das schwer

Will doch nur

Loslassen

Kontrollverlust

Und endlich, endlich

Aufhören zu denken

I want you to meet my grandma, Roza Tchlakichvili. She grew up in Moscow and later moved with my parents to Berlin.

To say she was strong, would be an understatement. She was so ahead of time, and she cared so little about the opinion of others.

She simply didn't take shit. From anyone. She knew what she wanted and she wasn't scared to get it.

She wasn't scared, about what other people think of her. And she always had an opinion and would make sure that it gets heard.

She was an orphan, but that didn't stop her to become...

A mathematician,

A detective,

A lawyer.

Not just any lawyer, but one that stood up against the soviet regime by saving those, who have done nothing wrong, from getting into prison.

She had her son (my dad) with 35, which was highly unusual for that time.

She shared tons of wonderful moments with me. Not only did she teach me piano, but also life lessons:

I remember her telling me, I shouldn't run after the popular girls (which I did a lot at that moment), but instead appreciate myself, so others would come to me. That's what she has always done.

She is my idol.

I'm happy when

Time is running faster

Even if that means

It's running out for me

I'm waiting for you

To press your lips on mine

And imprint

That dream I'm chasing

With a broken heart

Without anyone to notice

Because you want to cover up

Ashamed of his mistakes

For trusting him

Unsure how to react

Towards a douche

The oxygen is killing me

There's too much of it to breathe

Running for my life

On a treadmill though

Stuck on it for years

Meanwhile all that air

Is floating my mind

Makes me want to give up

That run for life

Makes me want surrender

To finally stop that fight

I have no power left to give

My juices are soaked out

This parasite isn't worth

Of keeping anymore

So just get rid of me

I won't pay off

Through me in the trash

That's were I belong

Probably the only

The only one true home

Were I can find