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-3

 One month later

 It’s been a month since the passing of my father.I am not coping at all, a lot has happened my sister has gone wild taking baecations after baecations with the new guy. On other news me and Harry broke off the engagement and he now stays in the cape. I’ve been miserable, I don’t even know how I’ll cope in school since I’m starting beginning of the new month. I cannot even face my mother;I left home right after the funeral I stay at one of my father’s penthouses. 

 It is the reading of the will later today. Every family member is in town, even the ones we don’t know.

Even though I’m not expecting anything from my father. It is important to show up, for my mom and for Lungile. And besides the invitation stated its Imperative I show up.

 I arrived at the venue 30 minutes late, the place was packed aunts and uncles, and even their kids. My father was the wealthiest of all but does that really mean everyone will   get a piece of the pie. According to my knowledge I thought only invited people should attend. My daddy must be generous to have all this people on his will. My thoughts were disturbed by the lawyer getting everyone's attention and announcing he will start since I have arrived ;the will stated not to start without me. Uhm okay am I guess i am the guest of honour here! I rolled my eyes.

 He went ahead and played the video, its dated 18 feb 2018.

That was 2 weeks after I left for the UK, I am definitely not getting a dime here.

 “Is it on? Okay... uhm my dearest family if you are watching this it means m no longer with you, I won’t waste any of your time  will get straight to the point, I called you all here so you can be witnesses and not fight my decisions.

1. I live my family house and all my vacation homes to my beautiful wife Grace Ntomb’enhle Khumalo.

2. My 10 penthouses across the country will be shared amongst my children Siphosethu and Lungile khumalo

3.Grace my love I apologize to you for forcing you into doing something you don’t love all in the name of pleasing my parents, all my shares at Khumalo medical center are yours n you shall manage all the branches, Its time you put your Bachelor of Medicine to good use.

4. Lastly the CEO of Khumalo Attorney's and majority shareholder will be Siphosethu Khumalo provided that he has finished his law degree and done his articles at a different law firm, if not Lungile will be the acting CEO and have control over her brother's shares in the company until Siphosethu meets all the requirements.

5. Lungile my princess I know you have always wanted to help disadvantaged abused woman with legal representation for will sponsor the project and you can run it as u wish.

6. All my businesses in UK I give them to my dearest sister Luthando Khumalo. 

7. All my other assets will go to my wife.

Thank you."

 I am still in shock the cursing in this room, how can a person be so greedy for something they never worked for., NONE of them are happy with the decisions my father took, especially putting me in charge of Khumalo Attorney's, they were all gunning for that position, he basically left everything to me mama, Lungz and aunty Thando.

 At that moment it hit me, honouring my father’s wishes I have to study law, this is the one thing I never wanted to do, but things are different now I would do anything to make my father proud even if he’s no more.

_2

"Didn't i play my part as a father, i gave you kids everything, took you to the best schools, gave you everything other kids can only dream of, but wat do i get in return an adulterer and gay for a son" he let out a soft sob and left the dinner table, i have never seen my father cry ever before, i gues me and Lungile really hurt him this time, the meeting went really bad i wanted to break the news to everyone so i had invited my sister and her husband to dinner too, turns out i was not the only one living a secret life, my sister was cheating on her husband and she was pregnant with the new guy's baby,and it gets worse, she filed for a divorce ,talk about an explosion.. i just wish she had opened up more to me, right now i don't even know her, i always thought shes the one who will carry the family legacy, keep the Good Khumalo name untainted , i don't know if i should be glad i told my parents about my plans, and my relationship status because trully speaking i have never seen father this disappointed, I am nolonger so sure about my decisions , even though mother and Lungile were happy that i get to make my choices about my life...Dad on the other side was really disheartened by everything....im hoping he doesnt cut me and my lungile off we are his only children and right now we both need our family more than ever.

On our way to the hotel it was raining and very dark, it was as if the universe was sad and dissappoited in me, as i kept looking at the rain drops it felt like mother nature knew something i don't. I felt uneasy and turned to Harry, i leaned on his shoulder, he is a happy soul, my chill pill, forever optimistic even in the hardest situations, he was happy he met my family despite the drama. I don't think he lives in the real world and thats probably the reason I love him, he makes me forget about everything going on and live in the moment and enjoy life as it happens.

My thoughts were disturbed by a phone call... its Lingule ....

"Sipho.... its dad ... he .... you have to comeback home now" she said crying ..

I told the driver to turn back home ...on the way there even though something in me knew its not good news , i was hoping for something good ... i made silent prayer asking God to not take my father ... not today! not now!... i cannot deal wth that im only 19 ... i still need him.

#itsmydestiny.

To me it is trusting with my whole heart with my mind and my soul, it is feeling totally secure and cared for, it is being a priority to someone, ....it is knowing im fully respected, understood and loved just the way i am... Love to me is God given, cannot be forced or faked! If it is s genuine it is genuine! Period ❤..

_1

It was exactly a year ago when I finally came out to my family, my friends and some of my classmates knew or suspected I don’t know I never asked , I wasn’t hiding the fact that I am gay but I was also low key, being considerate to the family business and just avoiding being in the media.

But my family as usual never suspected anything until I called a meeting, It was before my prom night and I was planning to go with my then boyfriend so I had no choice but to come clean, being a son of a very wealthy man means everything and anything about you is a scoop.

My father’s reaction is something that tears me up and cracks me up all at the same time. He told me, I quote “Siphosethu Kevin Khumalo, stop following every trend you see in the media my son, just stop it. First you dye your hair with weird colours now you say you are gay, when will it end” to him my sexuality is a trend im following, something I can change like a hair style or hair colour, he doesn’t take it serious at all. Then he went on and blamed my mother for raising me wrong, for spoiling me too much and not letting me be a man, but then it’s a norm in this house when we are wrong or doing something against dearest daddy’s wishes we are our mothers child, but when we are getting trophies and awards we are true Khumalos.

As I look outside the window right after the pilot announced that we will be arriving at OR Tambo airport in 20 minutes I become more nervous, I know I should be excited to see my family after one whole year being apart from them, but I know If they cannot accept my decisions they might cut me off permanently and Imay not even see them ever again.

Let me give you a little intro of my family, the Khumalos own one of the biggest black owned law firms in south Africa, everyone in my family is an attorney or an advocate my grandparents are advocates, my great grandparents were also advocates, my dad,my mom,my aunts and uncles from my father’s side, and they all work for the family business, my sister just finished her articles and she’s a junior lawyer at the company too, and she’s married to a popular politician’s son, But that’s Lungile she enjoys this life and I am okay with it as long as she’s happy. In my family everything is a business transaction, you cannot marry random, it’s about power and status.

And here I am engaged to a graphic designer from the UK who just landed his first job in South Africa, and that’s not the only news I will be breaking to my family I got a scholarship to study fashion design at CTCFD ( Cape Town College of Fashion Design), the most prestigious school in the fashion industry, I am blessed right, a loving fiancé someone who decided to leave his home, his country of birth, just to be with me, a scholarship in one of the best schools in south Africa yet I’m not happy instead I wish this plane can just turn back I will continue living with my aunt and me and Harry can continue the way we were. Oh ya he’s white, just imagine the drama!My dad is going to kill me but Harry thinks he’s probably over the fact that I’m gay now and the only problem will be the fact that I don’t want to study law. He clearly doesn’t know my father, all he’s expecting is a straight son who’s ready to wear black gowns all his life trying to solve cases.

That is not me I want to work with the likes of David Tlale, and Gert Coetze, I want to dress people celebrities I’m all about the glitz and glamour, as we are about to land at OR Tambo, Harry squeezes my hand he can see the worry on my face.

To continue or not to continue??

I am good.

I am chosen.

I can do this.

God has my back.

I am the head and not the tail.

I am enough.

I am blessed.

I am loved.

I have everything i need to succeed.

with the smell of antibiotics, I can never forget the smell of pills.I nursed my mom while on her death

bed for 7 whole months, the longest 7 months of my life.I still remember her last words, ‘’make

me proud Enzo, live up to your name Enzo’kuhle”. I sigh at the thought of it how was I to live up to

my name with everything that happened after she passed on, having to face the world on my own.

I tried lifting my head and I felt a sharp pain on my neck, I opened my eyes and I realised I am

definitely not where I thought i was, I tried sitting and felt my body literally fail me, i felt pains all over my body, okay Enzo, you are definitely in hospital and badly injured but what happened to me, I couldn’t recall anything besides going to my boyfriend’s place. As much as I’m in denial I know deep down that this was no accident, it was him,again, it’s been going on for a year now. I just never thought I would end up in hospital, he always promised to never do it again and

typical Enzo, always believed him. I was now in tears how the hell did I end up here why didn’t I leave the first time he hit me, why didn’t I open a case, what change was I hoping for, I mean I am the same woman who participated in

the #enoughisenough and #NotoGBV, then how come am I here waiting to die and be the next #justicefor.. while I kept quiet for a whole year, my friends didn’t know the type of guy he is, the type of guy I know, but who blames them, social media calls us Couple Goals, we had a strong front, our instagram pages are on point, portraying the happiest couple ever, our baecations and

everything in between were always perfect. The matching outfits and the “His and hers”custom made t-shirts proved otherwise.

My thoughts were disturbed by a doctor who introduced himself as doctor Ndlovu, he explained I

was brought in by an elderly couple, that did not want to disclose their names but I already knew who they were

, Mr and Mrs Hendricks , the only people who know the real Mbuso. They have asked me

countless times to at least leave his ass if I do not have the guts to open a case.The doctor further explained that if they had not intervened I wouldn’t be alive and recovering, he told me that I had fractured ribs, a dislocated kneecap and my neck muscles got strained from being strangled and that I have bruises all over my body. I cried I couldn’t believe what I was hearing that bastard wanted to kill me this time. “This Time”neh, if I had left long ago I wouldn’t be here.

The doctor told me that it was hospital protocol to lay charges and the police are already

outside to take a statement, he asked if I was willing, I guess this shows many woman come by and are not “willing” to give statements, at this moment i remembered my mom’s words again “live up to your name Enzo’kuhle”, I may have disappointed her many times, I may have not lived up to

my name but it ends today , Mbuso is a serial abuser, his mom told me and his neighbours confirmed it, but it stops with me.

Suddenly I got this courage and my memory came back I remembered every detail of the events that lead me here from him dragging me from the car to his apartment and beating me up till I was unconscious and I am ready and “willing” to break the silence.

-ML