clouds shaped for rolling, forced to drift instead

Bloom

Today

The crumbled concrete pillars that

Make up the lingering ruins

Of a long forgotten bridge;

Left untouched but for the rising river,

Does it still reach tendrils through thick clouds, and peak through trees in that way that perfectly imitates fire?

Does it still bounce off the ice on the river water, so you're not sure if it's frozen or flowing?

Does it still leave behind the blue glow in the dusky aftermath, changing the shape of the mountains in the distance?

I'm keeping her awake;

I never could sleep alone easily

And I've never

Gotten used to

How lonely I can feel

With you laying

And the sunlight glints off of it in a nice glow.

It's dirty and blackening,

You tell me,

Picture perfect sea and sky-

As you remind me

The lily pads can be deadly.

They look like they're dying all on their own

If you ask me.

Shriveled in the heat of the summer

And the aftermath of drought.

I keep quiet and the sun sinks lower.

Look at that shade of purple in the clouds,

I think to tell you-

And then remember;

I want to tell her.

Though, she does not know

Of her sister's existence.

She would not know to ask,

“Does my sister look like me?

Does she wear the same clothes?

What color are her ribbons, her skirt?

Is her poise any better than mine?

Is she happy?”

She would only tell me,

“I have no sister.”

“I am alone.”

And I would have to say,

I walk in alone.

Hold my hand, pick me up, stay with me.

Keep me safe keep me safe keep me safe,

Keep me.

I won't leave you,

You're not alone.

Another open door, I walk through it,

You're gone.

Another open door,

You encouraged me to open it this time,

I walk through it.

Keep me safe keep me safe keep me safe.

Keep me.

I don't leave you.

I'm alone.

I'm alone.

Hard and unforgiving, they said this is how bones

Are meant to be.

Half a steel cage to contain me.

No key.

They only handed off the ache,

When they discharged me.

Buds never appear, branches have no weight.

Spring, though, is here, they say.

The sun shines bright, and only hurts my eyes.

Clouds provide no shade,

Wind no soothing breeze.

And yet, admire the blue skies, they say.

Spring arrives and even the evergreens,

Full and heavy all year,

Now look only diseased.

But the blue skies, they say…

I'm sure it's very sweet.

It's too quiet. Not meant for driving.

drowned out

By the sound of the car wheels

turning on pavement.

I'm tuning it all out except

The highest pitch of something like guitar,

Meant to be soothing I'm sure.

I'm staving off a panic attack

And your left rear tire is

The blue in the daytime sky changes

When it gets this cold.

The sun is up,

And there are clouds you won't quite see,

And warmth won't even try to break through.

The very tops of the tallest trees,

With their bare branches reaching high,

Will be a new, stark white

That I can only describe as dry.

And still we'll get in our cars

And drive to work

While the world around us hibernates

And huddles for warmth

In such a way

Their colors blending and beautiful.

I missed the days they fell,

The ground all covered now in their brown.

As I stumble forward once more,

There are no leaves left

To soften the blows of the branches,

Grew up around my arms,

My needles and bones,

My broken and dying limbs

Reaching for an unreachable sky.

Your leaves and vines and branches twisted

Around and across me and they

Bloomed and turned green and stretched high

Until they covered all my dead brown branches

That should surely have fallen.

My once strong trunk no longer stable

If it weren't for the strength you wound around me

Keeping me tall.

Keeping me upright when by all rights I don't belong,

still reaching for an unreachable sky.

When by all rights you should have grown

Elsewhere and planted your roots in

Healthier soil and your leaves should wind

Alongside stable vibes that still grow

Each summer.

I can't help but think that,

If you were less busy watching me sleep,

You would relate to the

Maple, down the street,

Twisted and thriving

To float with them.

Peeling back the layers and turning

Them into sheets.

Here is earth and here

Is water and here

Is soft pillow to rest

Up so high.

You laugh at something I cannot hear,

My head in the clouds,

And I float.

Here is your spot and here

Is mine.

Here is earth and here

In a perfect and delicate pattern.

Up and down my arms,

Across my chest,

Winding along my spine,

Tight circles to my thighs,

All one continuous line.

And struck a match,

Left scorch marks behind.

And then when the gasoline burned itself up,

The fire seemingly gone,

Only delicate lines that I can trace

Left behind-

Something not quite like fire,

But something like heat,

Something with intention

And it's eyes on me,

Came to fill in the space between the lines.

To color in the gaps,

To highlight the delicate line

And erase it with something brighter,

Something harsher,

Something only I can see

But that I'll never stop feeling,

Something that leaves stains behind that can never heal.

Something came and washed all over me.

I swear I knew it in childhood.

I haven't heard that song in years,

The notes so piercingly familiar.

Tell me your name,

I'll ask it,

So that I might not lose track of you once again.

Did the winds bring you back my way,

Will the currents take you again?

It's quiet before I can speak aloud,

My window still closed.