Michael

To you..

I know you’re not on this anymore and it’s been a very long while since you crossed my mind but last night you did. And so just a vent, update, idk what to call it, chances are you never see this and that’s okay.

Let me start with thank you. Thank you for being my first love, took me a very long time to figure out the purpose of us. I know it may have not seemed like it because of dating right off the bat after the break up, but I was hurt, because I did truly love you and felt the need to fill the emptiness I was feeling. Thank you for shaping me to be the man I am today. I am thankful for all the late night phone conversations, laughs, jokes, stories..(i.e. safari 🐘) Please know you’re worth more than you’ll ever know. I’m sorry I didn’t acknowledge how hurt and sad you were, I think I just didn’t know how to comfort you from miles and miles away.. I am sorry. I am sorry for our relationship, it shouldn’t have ever happened, although I am grateful for you. Most importantly, I am sorry I lied to you. I am sorry for any sadness, depression I put you through. I hope you’re well, I hope you’re okay, I hope you find someone who takes care of you and loves you endlessly. Someone who makes you laugh ‘til you cry. I wish you the best life. And for who she’s loves next: Hold her. Hold her tight, and don’t make the mistake I did and let go. Where do I even start: She loves to be cuddled, and attention- she needs lots of both. Do the little things, whether she ask or doesn’t ask- make the bed in the morning, wash the dishes, take out the trash, ask her how her mom/ dad/ brothers are doing, little things, they will go a long way. Pay attention to detail, this girl likes things done a certain way. Compliment her- always, let her know how good she looks, how beautiful she is, acknowledge that she has the best smile and the cutest face. Show her off to the world. She’s imperfectly perfect. Travel, she needs to get out of plain ol state of Ohio. And don’t worry- she’ll let ya know where she would like to go. ooooh, breakfast in bed- chef boyardee that ass in the kitchen. surprise her- to the movies- or a picnic shoot even her favorite snacks. And as you know, we all have off days- listen- listen to how work has her stressed, run a bath for her, let her cry the stress out, and communicate- also a big mistake of mine- you gotta do it. I just sucked at it. Another thing is patience- and lots of it. So much more but I’m sure you already know a lot of these things. Just love her unconditionally, she deserves and needs it.

Not that I expect you care but a small update: been thru a lot but haven’t we all, my ex and I had been together for years before calling it quits about 3 years ago, now I’m living in Lake Oswego with my fiancé of a year and our cute doodle retriever. I graduated UO, scoooducks baby. My family is good and thriving, thank God. I’m in a good position in life right now. I hope you are too.

I thought I’d have more to write about but nothing else comes as I type this. Good ol tumblr days.

Yours truly, Squeaky Buzz.