My name is Michael / Maikol / Mike / Mixture π¨ he him his π¨ 13-32
the "need to know" bits
βΛβΉ π― Bodily 19. no chrono / bodily minors. Don't lie about being chronoadult either.
βΛβΉ π― RADPLUR & PARAQUEER, propara, transid, darkship, profiction, pro-endo, pro-consent, pro-kink, RACK, if you want to be friends be at least adjacent to these.
βΛβΉ π― This will be a primarily nsft blog. Sexual asks & comments are fine, as long as you are chrono / bodily 18+. also do not use she/her for me outside of being sexual.
βΛβΉ π― mediamates and sourcemates are both ok. but i would like to also know you as a person if you want to be friends... or more.
βΛβΉ π― New people & friends are welcome, just abide by the above.
βΛβΉ π― I am a transman, i go by he/him only, masc or neu terms. unless i state other wise directly to you.
βΛβΉ π― I am AROMANTIC. AroALLO, non monogamous, sys4sys/T4T. I am adverse to traditionally romantic stuff most of the time. I see sexual advances or simular things as my version of romanticism. There still needs to be consent involved in some way, of course.
βΛβΉ π― I am a FUCKTIVE. Meaning although I am sourced from Michael Afton, I am also sourced of many other things and people. These are my known sources as of now:
β FNAF fanon - Michael Afton, Charlie / The Puppet
β FNAF AU - Mike, Maryon
β UCFT - Michael, William
β BC - Maikol (Michael), Evan / CC, Vincent/Vinny
β Creepypasta - Jeff the Killer, Smile Dog
βΛβΉ π― I will probably talk about father / source dad a lot. I miss him tons. We were inseparable. I hated him, and loved him. He would always somehow twist me around his finger. I was basically his 2nd wife after mom left. He liked to show me off and beat me and grope me. It was a miracle no one ever cared enough to intervene.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i miss dad sonmuch. when id get liek this and get drunk an emotional i used to text him so much cus id usualy be at jeremys. i nevertoold him inwas theere bur id feel so alone n blind without father.
id always end uep texting him. texting that i was soryy for goung to jeremys without hikm, if he could pick me up. other times id just text or call him sobbing because itd tear me apart to be away from him.
I feel like the worst. I feel like a discarded chip bag in a park. I know its probably just me not getting supply but knowing that doesn't change how shitty & suicidal I feel.
I wish I was someones adored so bad. I wish people would care about me or know me enough to ask what im up to and it not be weird. Thanks npd and hpd really appreciate this rollercoaster you are giving me.
I want to have hypodermis cuts on my arms and thighs so baaad.. my pain tolerance is not great though. I'm not super experienced in treating deeper cuts either.
I can't really do them on my arms yet either.. Unless it's just one or 2 that can be hidden with a regular bandaid. It's not cold enough yet and were going back to school soon.
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When i lived with father and my siblings, he always had a way of knowing what we were doing. Mostly me. Looking back it was probably hidden cameras.
He always knew when i self harmed if i did so at home. Sometimes it would be a whole thing, he would barge in yelling at me telling me how stupid i am and how he "oughta beat it out" of me. Other times he'd sit quiet, stalking just outside the door of the room and wait for me to walk out, giving me the most disgusted disappointed stare as I realized he knew.
I finally caught on at some point, even though not exactly knowing how he knew. I started cutting more at school or in any place I thought mightve been safe. This didn't stop me cutting in the house indefinitely, though. If father was particularly distant i did it in the house in hopes he would give me any sort of attention. Even if it was a beating. It stopped being affective for that, though.
Sometimes he'd text me out of nowhere to send pictures of what i was doing. He knew. I would try to make up excuses on why i couldn't send him anything but he'd always get me to send. Implying he knew i was harming. I'm pretty sure he got off to it shrug
The way father used to surveil me. He tracked me on my phone, knew what places i frequented, knew my routine. He knew things i never told him, especially things i didn't want him to know. He knew my friends, knew my boyfriend... didnt like my boyfriend.
I want it again i want that kind of care for me. i want someone to know what im up to all the time.
