I just didn't expect the thing to catch to him was that one of his stolen lives was an academy dean, which means he spent years sitting down and signing papers. And that has actually literally just fucked up his hands to the point that he has to use up a piece of his pension, his real ass pension that he legit set up for his /fake life that he stole/, to buy medication to deal with actual real life it is happening to you right fucking now person reading this Tendon-fucking-itis.

Lygus was a larger than life villain with theatrical level characterization trying to make a Lord Ravager to destroy the universe.

It was worth it.

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.

Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.

He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.

“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”

The crowd murmured with embarrassment.

“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.

“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.

“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”

Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”

--

Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.

“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”

Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.

“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”

THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.

“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.

Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.

“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”

Laios and Marcille held their breath.

“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”

Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.

Everyone turned to him.

Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.

“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.

“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.

--

[ image IDs in ALT text. ]

description:

a gender related to the character salad fingers, from the web series of the same name. you are allowed to interpret/use this any way you like, as long as it is connected to salad fingers in some way!

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someone had to do it eventually. i couldn't wait around any longer for someone else to do it.

𝖲𝖭𝖮𝖮𝖯 𝖣𝖮𝖦𝖦 𝖲𝖠𝖸𝖲 𝖮𝖭𝖫𝖸 𝖮𝖭𝖤 𝖯𝖤𝖱𝖲𝖮𝖭 𝖧𝖠𝖲 𝖮𝖴𝖳 S𝖬𝖮𝖪𝖤𝖣 𝖧𝖨𝖬