Sharlene.

I don’t think I’m beautiful. At times, I think I look pretty, but all it takes is a bad picture of me, seeing gorgeous girls, people pointing out my flaws and I start feeling horrible about myself. Sometimes I think I’m smart, then the girl next to me studies the night before and gets a higher grade. I try not to let other people affect the way I see myself, but sometimes it’s so hard. People tell me I’m pretty, beautiful, and smart, but they don’t see what I see. I just don’t see myself being good enough. 

Change is a scary thing.  For starters, I’ve completed yet another semester of dental hygiene school and only have one more to go til I graduate and start adulting. Going into the real world and seeing patients without having the an instructor there for guidance, to ask questions when I’m not confident about something. Then theres Ian, he wants to move in together by this time next year. Don’t get me wrong, I was so happy when he said he wanted to move in with me. But that means, I gotta start paying for bills. Like real bills, not just credit card bills from when I do all my shopping lol. Moving in together is a big step, and it scares me to think that this can happen in just a year from now. I’m not ready to grow up. Then there’s my family. Growing up with a million cousins is the greatest thing ever. So many awesome memories together and when I look back it makes me sad that they’re just memories now. We were all best friends with each, so close and so real...Then we grew up... We grew apart... Well, at least I have. I grew apart... I have isolated myself for the past year an a half, and now its like I’m on the outside looking in. I have disconnected with everyone I was once close with... But maybe this is for the better. Change can be good.