Naem's the Name, Lame's my Game

i was looking at reddit (classic mistake, i know) last night and i got uhhhhh. bummed out. because there was a post asking, like, "hey, why don't more games get translated into european portuguese," and in the comments there was someone whose username i recognised, because i still have her on my steam friends list, and she iiis someone who followed the exact same academic pathway i did - we were in the same class, i think, pretty much from start to finish - but whereas i am unemployed and desperate, she is a successful freelance translator with an active specialization in videogame localization

and then, you know, that whole comment thread spun off into folks telling her how cool that is and asking her to do an AMA and so on and so on

the way i am phrasing this makes it sound like the feeling driving me is... envy? jealousy?? but i don't think that is actually why i'm upset. i think what i feel is Profoundly Inadequate because i can't see this as anything other but objective, concrete proof that there is something wrong with Me.

in therapy literally the other day i was talking about this kind of sentiment, and. like. my therapist, whom i love btw, she is very sweet, pointed out that my reasoning Seemed logical but it was actually emotional, because the job market sucks ass etc etc etc and I don't think she's wrong. of course there's something wrong with the job market, i know i'm not the only one struggling. but now This (gestures at this post) is making it... really really really hard for me not to think, "someone else had the exact same background and opportunities that you did, and she made it and you're stuck. there is something wrong with you. you don't work hard enough, you're not determined enough, you want everything handed to you on a silver platter,"