The Life & Times of a Rebel Princez @mistressmayhem81 - Tumblr Blog

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SAFETY

I was so close. So close to feeling safe enough that if I confronted my demons.

Let go of control. That I was safe and didn't need to feel like I was forever prepping for battle. So. Fucking. Close.

And then. Then my one constant starts crumbling. My singular touchstone to keep me rooted to reality is fading. And all I can think is how do I fix it ? What happens if I can't fix it ? How do I stay and be a person without him ? The singular link that keeps me grounded Suddenly I'm 12 again and everything and everyone is terrifying and all I can do is stand straight and stiff and not feel anything. Because if I feel even one little bit, the damn will break, I will feel all of it at once, an unstoppable tsunami that washes over and destroys me and everyone near me.

verpasstzuleben

🖤Your Favorite Bad Girl BBW 🖤 “ I do what I want….”

mistressmayhem81

Hello darkness

I wonder if heaven is that feeling of fading to black when the last little

Bit of life is choked from

Your body.

That numb oblivion

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managingitall

I bottle everything up for others comfort.

mistressmayhem81

And so.......

Here I am. Alone. Again. Locked away in my room. Never completely alone but always and forever lonely.

Some days the pain and emptiness seems too much to take. But then I make it through to bed time. Fall asleep. Wake up and fight through all over again.

My mind is forever working against me. Refusing to allow peace or happiness. Always making me pray for the end.

My hell is that there is no escape.

mistressmayhem81

Waking up every day. Putting on a fake smile. Pretending to have it all together. All the while being shattered inside is exhausting. I’m tired. I never thought I’d be this person. I wake up. I go through the motions. And count the seconds until bed. Because sleep is the only reprieve from this black hole I’m existing in. Praying for it all to end feels like a failure. But honestly. How much pain can one person endure. I’m tired. I’m just so damn tired…..

Hello darkness

I wonder if heaven is that feeling of fading to black when the last little

Bit of life is choked from

Your body.

That numb oblivion

feelingsoftheday

The worst part is losing yourself again

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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I’ll never understand how I can love someone sooooo incredibly fiercely and yet he could care less …..

#broken #polyamory

marcchurch

stay-close

“Do you ever lay in bed and realise how not okay you are?”

— Unknown

mermaidinthedeepocean

verpasstzuleben

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

meadowsmagical

Waking up every day. Putting on a fake smile. Pretending to have it all together. All the while being shattered inside is exhausting. I’m tired. I never thought I’d be this person. I wake up. I go through the motions. And count the seconds until bed. Because sleep is the only reprieve from this black hole I’m existing in. Praying for it all to end feels like a failure. But honestly. How much pain can one person endure. I’m tired. I’m just so damn tired…..

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The Life & Times of a Rebel Princez