life's for the living

Now that the room was empty Dora felt more comfortable. Less prying glances, more time to suck up any second, any fiber of this morning. She hadn’t even noticed before just how warm she was even though it was a chilly September morning. James’ body, so close to hers, seemed to emit this radiant warmth that crept into her body and made her heat up until her cheeks were slightly flushed. His messy hair - even more ruffled than usual - gave him this air of rawness, so unfixed, that she wanted to run her hand through it. Just so she could be the reason for it. And his eyes. Those that she caught staring at herself like she gazed at him. Every once in a while their glances crossed and a pleasant shiver ran down her spine, her arm, to their intertwined hands.

"That’s nice." she nodded slowly and stretched her neck, tilting her head from side to side. "I slept very good as well. Considering this piece of furniture is made for sitting, not sleeping." Dora smiled brightly. Truth is, that she would spent every night like this. Aching neck and nosy first years in the morning if she could wake up to a flustered James with a ruffled hair. Merlin, she wanted this to last. She did hope that this thing, this feeling was not just a fleeting warmth in her stomach, a blissful electric shock whenever their hands touched but something that would last until the next morning. And the morning after that. 

When he got down on one knee and looked into her eyes she opened her mouth a little in surprise, her eyes big in anticipation. “What?” she muttered completely startled after he had finished. Dora stared laughing lightly and held her free hand in front of her mouth until she managed to steady herself again. Then she nodded grinning brightly. “Of course! I mean…” A chuckle escaped her lips again because it felt like her chest would explode if she wouldn’t let it out, a release for her happiness. “Why are even asking? I- Yes, James Potter, I would love to go to breakfast with you. And Hogsmeade in two weeks.” she replied as she got up to stand in front of him. “Whatever. I’d do anything. Unless it’s murder or robbery but yes, we-we wouldn’t do that.” Laughing at her odd comment she reached for his other hand. “Get up then! You’re making me blush if you keep sitting down there!”

A wave of exhaustion momentarily swept over him, and the couch suddenly seemed a thousand times more comfortable, inviting him to curl up and take  anap. That's what he got for staying up past midnight and being woken up at the crack of dawn by a group of giggling first years... James blinked, shaking his head slightly as he realised that he'd been staring at Dora for a good minute or so. Despite the tiredness he felt, it was the sight of her that stopped him from wanting to close his eyes for even the briefest second. The sensation he was feeling was familiar, in a way - he'd felt something of the sort in the summer before last year - but this was different. It felt....purer. Despite whatever love he thought he'd felt for Georgia, this was a thousand times more - it made him feel like could do anything.

Sure, getting down on one knee and making a big deal out of something as insignificant as breakfast (although it was 'the most important meal of the day' or whatever...) might have been a little bit over the top, but it felt like the right thing to do. "Why am I asking?" he repeated, mulling the thought over in his mind. "I think it's mostly because of....well, this," he answered, squeezing her hand gently twice. "Aren't you supposed to go on a date with someone before you get to hold their hand, after all?" His smile grew at her answer, taking her other hand in his own and getting rather awkwardly to his feet - he didn't want them both to end up on the ground, after all. 

It was only then that he let go of her hand, and in that brief second of no contact, a feeling of emptiness grew within his chest. Touch was funny that way, wasn't it? The way it kept you connected to someone the way nothing else, not even words, could. Running a hand through his hair again and trying to control the mess, he offered her his arm and gestured towards the Portrait hole. "Shall we, Miss Longbottom?"

"Exactly." A guilty expression crossed his face at agreeing with him. "But I’m pretty good at avoiding something if I want to, you know? Which is bad. I know it’s bad. I should just man up and talk about it with her." Teddy put his head in his hands - he felt like his brain was actually aching. Or perhaps it was his heart. Or perhaps it was his stomach, because he was getting pretty hungry. He quickly pulled himself together. Slapping his chest, he shook himself, letting out a quick laugh. "Oh, it’s not really Vic. It’s me." He frowned, "Hold on, I just let myself become a cheesy movie cliche. What I meant is that I’m the one who wanted space. Merlin, hold up, I’m the girl.” His words echoed back to him though. ‘Meant to be’ sounded a lot like fate or something like that, but it also felt like something that might be true. It terrified him. His hair started to change to a nervous, pale looking green.

"Who knows? They’re not as good as me?" He wanted James to relax; he wasn’t sure if it was the nerves doing it, but stress always tightened up the muscles. A wandlore expert he’d met once had told him that a wand could tell when the wizard or witch was stressed. It could have been nonsense, but Teddy would try anything. James looked far too happy to put down his wand - spell casting shouldn’t be that bad. Learning should be enjoyable.

James nodded sympathetically, only to frown when Teddy dropped his head into his hands. This Victoire situation was a lot messier than he had realised... "Talking just might help - or you could be really cliché and write an essay of a letter to her. But come on, Teddy, you know you can't go blaming all this on yourself. You're allowed space and... I mean, it takes two people to be in a relationship, right? It's not just one person's fault." And just like that, he knew what he needed to do with Albus. "Or maybe you're not meant to be!" he quickly shot back, cringing as Teddy's hair turned a sickly shade of green - he had been around him long enough to know what a wide variety of what the colour of his hair meant. "I mean, that's just me, and I'm not in the relationship, am I? Just sort of a casual fan on the sidelines who just wants my cousin and big brother to find someone they're happy with, even if it's not each other."

As his hand moved towards her face she caught her breath for few seconds and her eyelids fluttered shut for a few seconds waiting for the moment when his fingers would brush her cheek - softly, oh so softly- but they didn’t. She opened her eyes again. Blood rushed into her cheeks and her face burned like the candles on a Christmas tree. Slightly embarrassed she tried to hide her flushed cheeks by looking away, staring at their hands with the faintest hope that nobody might recognize. Had she really yearned for him to do it? 

His attention was on the small crowd that had formed in the common room now and Dora clenched her jaw shifting uneasy in her seat. All this attention, especially now when she felt so fluttery and confused, vulnerable with her own feelings. A tickling shiver ran over her hand as his thumb brushed over it, over her arm into her head leaving a warm fuzziness linger within the mix sleep deprivation and confusion. 

The tone that James used to shoo away the crowd was unfamiliar to her, something she had never witnessed before. It vibrated with authority and assertiveness. And when she looked at him from the side she recognized a new shade to him, a more grown-up one, more mature and she caught herself thinking that she found it quite attractive. 

"Morning." she resounded staring at the smile on his lips that had suddenly gained some kind of extra charm. "I mean, we already both said that. Twice." Dora took a deep breath trying to calm herself. "So, uh how did you sleep? I didn’t take up too much space, did I?" she asked with a smile in herself that she couldn’t force down anymore, like it was glued there. "Also thanks for the blanket." She pointed at the blanket with her hand was was laying on his and then intertwined her fingers with his. Why? Because she like doing so. A lot.

He trailed off as his eyes scanned over her face, so entirely thankful for the fact that he had his sight right at this moment. The sunlight filtering through the thin curtains was no where near as intense as before, and it cast a warm light over Dora. It almost looked like she had a halo with the way the light shone off her messy hair, and James was certain that if he were to go blind now, he wouldn't mind one bit. 

"Yes, we have actually," he protested, all pretence of being a teacher forgotten as he shifted back into his normal brother-like role. Teddy wasn’t generally a private person; he wasn’t bothered by being asked the question, but more that he was always asking himself about their relationship. He wasn’t in any state to be able to explain it. "Not that it’s really anyone’s business except for Vic and me. We’re just sorting things out. We might get together. We might not." But if he was going to talk to anyone (besides Vic) about it, it’d have to be James. "I don’t know if I want to. I really do, but I always…yeah, I always, you know. I don’t even know if she…you know?" This eloquent speech had been accompanied with some hand gestures which didn’t add much.

"Hey!" he started, jumping up from his chair in early excitement for James - because that’s what Teddy did best. He didn’t even look at all disappointed as the spell quickly sputtered out. "Not bad! No really, you have to start somewhere. Okay, okay, let’s think. Did you use that memory I said? Maybe it isn’t happy enough for you. But wait, wait, stick with it for the moment." He came to stand next to him, but one of the house elves politely tugged at his shirt hem and indicated to the trifles and butterbeers sitting on the table. "Oh, fantastic! Thanks a bunch. I think we should eat first. Spells are easier to learn when you’ve eaten. That’s why I keep lots of snacks in my office. There are other reasons too, but being beneficial to students is first and foremost. Don’t question my teaching methods!"

James caught the attention of a passing House Elf and smiled politely, "Do you actually have Jammy Dodgers?" he asked, biting his lip, "Not that trifles won't do, just for the road, you know?" The House Elf gave a big nod then scurried off as James turned back to Teddy. He nodded at the wild gestures and seeming nonsense that Teddy was going on about, but he'd seen this enough to know exactly what he was trying to say. "I get it, it's a mess...and I guess it doesn't really help that you need to see each other at family things, right?" He sighed before shrugging, "Girls, mate. I don't know if anyone will ever understand them, but if you ask me, you two are meant to be, so maybe just give her some space until she figures that out? They like to do that sort of thing, come to their own conclusions and all that..."

Teddy's excitement made up for James's lack of skill, that was for sure. He kept his wand raised as Teddy came over to him, nodding intently at his words - he had learned from an early age to listen to anything Teddy had to say - but smiled almost in relief as they were interrupted. Maybe some food would help with his happiness factor... "Oh, I would never question it - the only thing I'm wondering is why the other staff haven't adopted the same method..." He tapped his chin and sat back down, shooting the House Elves a thankful smile before digging into the huge trifle that had appeared in a matter of minutes. "I know it seems like a stupid question," he said between mouthfuls, "But do you think the reason I can't do a proper Patronus for longer than a few seconds is because I've not got a memory that's happy enough to power it?"

A quiet groan escaped her dry lips as Dora started to wake up. It wasn’t quite clear what had been the source of disturbance. The unpleasantly bright sunlight that shone through the windows, the sound of footsteps or the stirring chattering of voices. Her eyelids opened slowly and she blinked at the blurry image of a twelve-year-old boy bending over a pile of books. Dora closed her eyes again. What was a first year boy doing in the girl’s dorm? There was a spell cast upon the staircase so it was impossible for him to get there. Unless…

Oh. All the memories of last night came rushing back into her mind making her dizzy and she was happy that she was laying on the couch right at this moment. The last thing she remembered was that James had started reading whilst she was falling asleep. When she was thinking of anything before that her stomach would flap and a smile crept onto her lips. But something had changed. Dora didn’t feel cold at all and her fumbling fingers grasped a soft fabric, a blanket that had been thrown over her. And there was something heavy laying on her side, something that poured warmth into her body more than the blanket could ever provide. She opened her eyes again and turned her head to glance at a hand on her, and the arm belonged a sleeping James Potter. His head was resting on the back rest, eyes closed, breathing steadily in complete peace with the world. Dora didn’t want to wake up him as he looked so peaceful and comfortable. And she would have gazed at him a little longer if she hadn’t noticed the staring and the whispering.

"Is that our head boy?" - "Who’s that girl?" - "I heard she’s Longbottom’s daughter." It was impossible to count all the pairs of eyes that were on her right now but she felt them all on her and each of them made her more uncomfortable, made her feel like she needed to escape, do something to end this. Slowly she sat up on the couch and rubbed her eyes, her hair messy over her shoulders. Only James’ hand made her stay, it gave her comfort like she belonged and she shouldn’t feel ashamed for those stares. It gave her the strength to battle the unwanted attention. She gently took his hand in hers - letting go would mean losing the good feeling - and knelt on the cushion next his sleeping body. "Hey, I know it’s rude to disturb a lion who’s sleeping but you should wake up now." she whispered staring at his eyes waiting for them to open so she could say good morning to him. And she wished that the people would be gone. Just the two of them so Dora could find out what had changed last night. Even though she already knew that something in their touch had changed, so that she was pulled towards him by an invisible power. "James, please, wake up."

He was warm, too. It wasn't the kind of heat the fireplace gave on a snowy winter's night, or the kind you got from wrapping up in a blanket or extra jumper. No, this warmth started somewhere in his chest and oozed its way through his body, down each and every muscle and vein and nerve until it completely consumed his being. His mind seemed to be content with staying in this state for the rest of forever, but a gentle tugging on his hand stirred something within him. It became more persistent, not rough, but pleading, almost, and he frowned and shifted slightly as a voice accompanied it, urging him to wake up.

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open but quickly shut again at the bright, obnoxious light that was streaming through the window opposite, but there was that voice again, pulling him not only towards reality, but her. James squinted at the silhouetted figure as his eyes adjusted to the light, and a smile crept onto his face as she came into focus. Dora, lovely, beautiful Dora, with her hair sticking up in all directions and a smile on her face that matched the touch that made his hand feel numb. "Morning," he greeted softly, his hoarse voice no more than a whisper as his free hand reached up to move an unruly piece of hair behind her ear, only to hear a giggle.

Hand frozen half way to her face, James slowly turned to where the sound had come from. A pain suddenly shot through his neck - a reminder of the awkward position he had fallen asleep in - and he quickly put an ink-stained hand to it as he sat straight up, spilling the DADA book that had been resting on his chest to the floor with an impressive clatter. He eyes darted up from the floor to the group of seven or so curious first years - they were the only ones who would be up so early on a Sunday morning - that surrounded them, each with wide eyes and sly grins on their faces as though they had just discovered the juiciest gossip Hogwarts would ever hear.

Pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to clear his mind, his thumb ran over a soft hand, and it was only then that he realised Dora was still holding his. He stared at her for a moment, his mind suddenly clear and mouth half open as though he wanted to say something but wasn't quite sure what, before clenching his jaw and turning back to the younger Gryffindors. "Clear off, you lot!" he barked at them, waving his free hand. It didn't take long for a majority of them to scatter to their dorms, but he caught the eye of of one, Eloise, and had to raise an eyebrow before she disappeared up to the girls' dorms. After making sure the room was clear, James turned back to Dora, massaging his neck. "Morning," he repeated after clearing his throat, a sheepish smile on his face.