Trystan

100!

So near where I live there is a very busy street called “Center” street that is long, straight, and houses many separate businesses, and most are separated by gates.

I was at Home Depot buying a Kryptonite lock for my motorcycle and when I got out of the store I realised that the parking lot of Home Depot was quite elevated and presented a nice parkour opportunity, as the gate separated the parking lot of Home Depot from the parking lot of the neighbouring Jack In The Box. I peered over the gate and I did indeed realise that the parking lot I was standing on was elevated but it didn’t seem to be too high. I put my lock in the trunk of my motorcycle and ran at it.

I sprinted, full speed, about twenty feet and vaulted perfectly over the fence.

Then I realized Home Depot’s parking lot was at a waaaaayyyy higher elevation than I had perceived. I freaked out, flailed around like an idiot for about a second before semi-situating myself and adopting a semi-decent in-air posture.

When I hit the ground, I attempted to roll (since that is what you’re supposed to do after a fall from that height) and I did, but I rolled incorrectly and all the momentum from the fall ended up on my shoulder, which gave in and I ended up crumpling. I ended up on my back screaming when some person in a Jack In The Box uniform heard me and looked out the window. It seemed like she was on break and she bit into a (probably disgusting) burger. I swear she smiled. I could just hear her in my mind saying “Lol you’re a bitch” while I yelled, barely getting myself to my feet. I got up and looked at her right in her eyes, before walking back to Home Depot. I drove off and my shoulder eventually healed.

I came back about a week later and she was there. I left a horrible review of her on that survey that ask us to do on the bottom of receipts. Karma, bitch.

dont try and say, “you’re just jealous that we have some of the best players in the league.” i dont care and im not jealous.

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Cold War