crazy, stupid, love sentence starters:
“you were right, i shouldn’t have eaten all that bread.”
“no puppy eyes, you little maniac.”
“you’re not talking, and that only makes me talk more.”
“if you keep talking i’m gonna’ get out of the car.”
“just for the record, i think about you… while i do it.”
“i’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate.”
“i did, i jumped out of a moving car.”
“i don’t care, i love him. and given the opportunity, yes, i would have his babies.”
“don’t you think you’re a little old to be using cheesy pick-up lines?”
“i can’t take my eyes off of you. that’s a fact, not a line.”
“you’re a double negative.”
“i hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable, i’ve developed like a little… crush.”
“i just wanted to say… shit.”
“i don’t know when you and i stopped being us.”
“i’m a total stranger, how would i know something so intimate about your life?”
“you’re getting drunk on watered down vodka like a fourteen year old girl.”
“i don’t know if i should help you or if i should euthanize you.”
“i’m gonna’ help you rediscover your manhood.”
“what happened to your feet?”
“are you steve jobs? are you the billionaire owner of apple computers?”
“you have a mom butt. is that what you want?”
“stop slapping me. really.”
“i wouldn’t touch you. if my life depended on it.”
“how you are doing this wildly sexy, yet unbelievably cute thing that you’re doing?”
“you ran in the other direction when you saw me coming the other day.”
“love is for stupid assholes.”
“god, would you put on some clothes, please?”
“my schwanz is in your face, if it’s not bothering you we gotta’ bigger problem.”
“you want me to fight someone?”
“go away. please don’t come back ever.”
“you are the perfect combination of sexy and cute.”
“you’ll learn to love me, i promise.”
“you know i’ll kill him if he hurts you.”
“i’m glad we switched babies at the hospital.”
“i’m so mad at you for what you did. but i’m mad at myself too.”
“you fight for your soulmates.”
“he scares the shit out of me.”
“i was trying to move on. but i don’t want to. you’ve always been the only one.”
“i thought that you were gonna’ propose.”
“do you still find me attractive? still wanna’ take me home?”
“no. i am sexy. i am r-rated sexy.”
“i am here to bang. we are gonna’ bang.”
“fuck! seriously? it’s like your photoshopped!”
“i don’t want your slutty money.”
“no way. break up right now.”
“go big or go home, right bud?”
“i’m sorry for being a dick.”
“i’m in love with her. i love her.”
“i think it’s fantastic that you’re a better man.”
“there is no such thing as one true love.”
“i met my soulmate when i was fifteen years old.”
“because when you find the one, you never give up.”
“i brought a firearm from a shitty site. i’m prepared to shoot you in the face with it.”
