unspoken words

من الحُب الذي يمنحهُ

The actual date wad 2 days ago..

I lied when i told them i don't want anyone to send me wishing for HBD or eveb remind me of it ..

I just wanted to protect my self .. to prepare myself as if u were forgotten like last year u won't get so sad as u previously don't want to celebrate it ..

This whole thing never meant me that bad .. this whole thing started a year ago,

When the date u supposed to be surrounded by your beloved , u r completely alone

Alone , sad , hopeless except for one wish !! To get all through all that pain ..

29 august , was the day i posted her that i have cut ¾ of my hair ..

Literally was the worst and the point that changed everything came later ..

Like yesterday , i wanted all my heartache to go away , so i thought if i controlled the things that hurt me by doing it myself , then no one will get close to hurt me that bad again ...

Can't conclude this year in a word !

Cuz i can't imagine it have passed that fast ..

And that the person who write nw is almost another person except from my naiive thoughts of getting love back and my stupid self who stops her life until things goes to way again ..

Won't wish anythig , because this year i am still stucked in ..

That's way celebrating another birthday is a totally useless & disappointing thing to do ..

وفي الوقت ذاته تقتله الرغبة المُلّحة

في الحديث مع أي أحد

أو أنه سيبقى صامتًا هكذا، إلى الأبد.