Every Flight Begins With A Fall♡

I will wear that lock until I am no longer in love with every part of you.

I feel like i'm going through withdrawals.

I've realized that I had to stop pushing for him and i to be together. I couldnt be the only one fighting for us. That's how one of us would have ended up hating the other. Probably him. I could never think of a world where I could hate the person that is/was/will always be my safe space. The person that something happens and I get so excited to tell him and then it hits me all over again. The person pinned to the top of all of my messages so he never got lost in the chaos of life. The person that when ive had a bad day he is the first and only person I want to be in the arms of.

How did we go through all that we have (over 17 years of history) just to end up like this. I will never understand. How fucking dare you do this to us. I will never regret us, but at least if we had never started this then we still would have been best friends. At least then I wouldnt be on day 3 of not knowing anything about your day. Then I wouldnt be gling over 2 weeks since I heard your voice or your laugh. Hear you tell me that you love me. Calling me your baby girl. At least then I wouldnt jump everytime my phone dinged even tho its not your special notification sound. At least then I could sleep peacefully in my bed with out the memories of us in eachothers arms.

We talked non stop from wake up til sleep for over 10 years. Now there is nothing. How is it so easy for you to not talk to me? How is it so easy to just go on like i was never a part of your life. Are you crying everyday like I am? Can you stomach the thought of finish reading the books we started together? I will never be able to reread our series ever again. Let alone any of the others with new releases coming out. How can one day you tell me im healing your heart and 2 days later you dint want to be with me anymore.

I ate a full meal yesterday. Had a laugh with a friend. My life is still going on and I there is no other person I want to tell but you, but you dont even talk to me anymore. Let alone ask how my day was or check in on me. You didnt even check in on me when multiple friends was having to give me a ride to and from work becuase my car was messed up. Asked you for a ride and you told me you were going out of town fishing. Asked you to look at the car and you told me you didn't have time.

I dont know when I became too much for you , but ive learned never to let anyone in. Never again.

Im going to live my life that you believe ive been wasting in our small town and they to be as happy as I can even if I was happy with you. My heart will always be yours even if you dont want it to be anymore, but i wont burden you with that knowledge. Ill always secretly hope that one day you realize that we could jave and should have been together this whole time and come back, but you're stubborn and seem to have your mind made up.