Journey to the Past

She barely even noticed the other woman in the room– all of her attention was on this… Jaime person she was supposed to know. Studying her features, her mannerisms. And though it didn’t bring any solid memories to light, the same way it had been for everyone else, Jaime was still someone that had meant something to her. She closed her eyes for a second, trying to visualise any scenario they had been in together, any conversation they’d had, but it was all blank. And it frustrated her to no end. Why couldn’t she remember? She’d remembered Rachel with a little bit of music, but not Jaime sitting right next to her?

That in mind, the touch to her leg felt… strange, but familiar. That had been everything for her these past days. Strange, yet familiar. But the puzzle wasn’t finished, not nearly, and it was going to take longer than a week or so for proper memories to flood back, unless she was in the right environment with the right place.

Jaime was real though. She’d almost been in tears over the situation, wondering why she had been given hope for to be torn from her hands because Jaime hadn’t remembered her either. Was that selfish? Yes. But she wanted– needed to know that this wasn’t something that someone had made up just to make you feel better. “HR told me about you. He said he was looking for you and he just… didn’t know where you were. And then when you… didn’t know me I thought… it was a lie. I thought you didn’t care. Or you just didn’t know me… I wouldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t care,” Her words were still hard to get out, pausing every so often to find the right one to fit with the rest. But every word was true. Looking back on her history on her phone, she had been nothing but a straight-up bitch a lot of the time.

“I don’t… think there was anything that could have been done.” She replied, hollowly, noticing Jaime’s tears as she looked up. What could the other woman have done? There was no one to blame for this tragedy, except for the person that had caused the school to be blown apart and burnt to the ground. “I was… stuck. Underneath concrete. Someone found me hours after I’d been knocked out. They said it was a miracle I was still breathing,” … Had she already told Jaime this before? She couldn’t remember. It was better to repeat it than to not say it at all, though. “I don’t– know why I was under there. What I was doing. But it was hard enough to break both of my arms. And then I ended up with a traumatic…” Damn. What was the term? She blind grabbed for her notebook, and flipped through the pages again. “… Traumatic brain injury. They said it would… make it hard to remember new things for a while. And I– I’ve been struggling. So I wrote things down. So I have something to reference. Sometimes I can’t even remember HR’s name. Even though I’ve said it what seems like a thousand times. I– don’t remember anything. I thought I had a family at one point. Then I was told that I was disowned. So they won’t see me. I just have… people from the school. And a lot of them didn’t seem to like me. At all.” She sighed, looking down at her lap. Everything about this was horrible. No memory, and now she had no idea who she could trust to tell her the truth. She didn’t even know if she could trust her own memories. Maybe they were dreams. Things she’d wanted but never had.

“–HR told me you were my girlfriend,” She finally blurted out after a moment of awkward silence. She’d wanted to bring it up yesterday, but was too scared that she would misunderstand another detail that supposedly made up her life. After all, she’d done that with… Leroy? Yes. Leroy. That was still a mystery to be solved, and she didn’t want to let go of it. Something was there. Something Leroy hadn’t told her. But with Jaime, she hadn’t wanted it to happen again on a public space. Truthfully, she was just scared of getting things wrong, prying where she shouldn’t. She didn’t want any trouble. She just wanted to get better. “Is– is that true? Are you?”

Jaime’s mind was swirling as she sat there watching Erica’s expression to try to see if there’s any glimmer of recognition. She was still hazy on what all had happened, but she knew that there had been an incident at St. Brendan’s and she - with many others - had gotten hurt. Where she was and what happened to her specifically was still a giant hole in her memory. All she remembered about it was pain and screaming Erica’s name. She was unsure if she was blocking it out or if her memory would slowly return on it, but for now it remained a mystery. 

As the Domme began to speak, Jaime’s attention returned to her as she processed the words. “... HR?” She paused for a moment, searching her memory. She was getting some memories back but she knew the rest would be soon to follow. “I’m -- I’m sorry, ma’am. I got sent via life flight to Boston. I had no idea what was going on... and I never meant to hurt you with my lack of memories. It -- it was beyond my control. I would never choose to forget you.  I ... care .. so deeply for you and I’m sorry that the side effect of my injury caused you to think I didn’t care.” She gave her leg a gentle squeeze, offering up a kind smile.

“I.. I don’t really remember what happened, Ma’am. That morning is still a blur to me but surely there was something I could have done.” She sighed, frustrated that she couldn’t remember it. “I mean -- hours -- you said you were under that concrete for hours and no one found you and it frustrates me to no end that it took so long for you to be found.” Her eyes were welling with fresh tears as she heard about everything that had been happening while she wasn’t here. Erica had been struggling and she hadn’t been here to help. What kind of a girlfriend was she? A horrible one, honestly. She should have been here sooner.

I think so too. Mhm, she’s my very reluctant little sister. And Carter’s mentee or something in photography or whatever, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, my little sister. Who I’ve adopted in my head. No matter how much she hates it.

Whoa. Well, that’s really specific. I didn’t realize that kind of thing could happen.

Babe.

Well then I am glad she remembers you! That will be good for you and Carter both. She hates it though?

Yeah, apparently you can lose patches of time versus full memory. I mean I didn’t lose it to like a certain day, just a general area of time.

We’re all here, and pretty much okay, as far as I know. I mean, nobody’s dead, how about that?

Like I said, all fine. Carter’s healing, Lexi just told me she recognizes me again. It’s a damn red letter day in my world.

Nice. In my head you look like Hunger-Games-era Natalie Dormer now. Very hot. Yeah, I heard about the amnesia. You’re not the only one, but I’m really glad things have come back to you now - or are at least starting to? You knew my name, at least! Four for you, Jaime Coco.

I think that’s an amazing thing after something like this, honestly.

... Lexi? I think the other woman I was talking to - Erica? - mentioned her, but... either way! That’s wonderful!

She was to spend another day bedridden. HR’s visits, and seeing other patients made it easier, but it didn’t stop her from feeling boxed in. She was still insanely dizzy any time she tried to stand, and after visiting Leroy, consequently embarrassing herself by misconstruing information, taking a walk didn’t exactly hold appeal. Instead, she was on her phone, swiping her way through emails that meant nothing to her, and texts without any context.

What she hadn’t expected was a visitor, today. She hadn’t made any plans with anyone for the day. But with the intent of making it habitual, she reached for her notebook, flipping through the pages and seeing nothing about someone coming to see her today. It was… an important day, for some people. That much she remembered. Something about love… she scoffed, placing the pocketbook back on the bedside table, making a clapping sound with the force at which she put it there. Valentine’s Day? Yes. That was it. As if anyone would visit her on a day like this. She didn’t even trust HR to visit– especially now that she was terrified that everyone was just lying to her about who she knew, who they were to her, who she was.

Nonetheless, there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” She called out, a second before a pretty woman peeked into the room. Was this a new nurse? Or a nurse that she’d forgotten? The woman’s face was familiar, yes, but she couldn’t tell why.

“Um– hello?” She started tentatively, shifting slightly so she could sit upright. Placing her phone to the side with her notebook, she tried to meet this strangers eyes– but couldn’t. She was unsure on how to speak to anyone, even the nurses. “Do you… need to check my… IV? It’s been… fine since last night. I didn’t think they’d need to change it until tonight.”

And then the penny dropped. “Wait– you’re… Jaime?” HR hadn’t been lying? She forced herself to look up at the older woman, and of course, flashes of memory sailed by in her mind. Smiles. Cuddles. A first kiss. Contentedness. Could this really be…? “I– didn’t think you were real,” She finally said, sounding absolutely idiotic.

Jaime’s brow furrowed when Erica looked over at her and mentioned an IV. Did she think she was a nurse? Was there really no recognition? She had mentioned total retrograde amnesia but was it... it really was total, wasn’t it? Her heart sank but she used her crutches to make her way in regardless, Janessa following behind her. In her twin sister’s arms were a hummingbird stuffed animal, a box of dark chocolates, and a bouquet of flowers prearranged by a local store.

It took a few but Jaime recognized the realization on her girlfriend’s face and she couldn’t help the sad smile that graced her features when Erica mentioned not thinking she was really. “I’m very much real, Ma’am.” Her voice was soft, and there was a certain sadness to it that she couldn’t keep out of it. This woman laying in the bed was a shell of the person she knew and she wanted to do everything she could to help.

Jai moved to sit in the chair near Erica’s bed with a little help from her sister who leaned the crutches nearby against a wall. “I’ll -- let you two have a few. I’ll be in the cafeteria, Jai.” Janessa gave the girls a smile and set the gifts on the end of Erica’s bed before leaving.

Hey, babe! I didn’t realize you were back already! Wait- are you back? Or are you still down in Boston?

No, I’m fine. I chipped a tooth, but I’ve already had it repaired. Otherwise I’m good! How are you?

Aw I wish I could say I was but I’m still in Boston! I’m trying to convince Janessa to at least bring me up for a visit this week, though! I want to check up on everyone.

.. if you’re ~not~ hospitalized right now. It’s important. I need this information for science, alright?

Mr. Smythe!!! Are you all right? Did you get hurt at all... in the.. the incident??

… She doesn’t remember? Is that a lie too? Am I that abhorrent that people would pretend to forget me? I don’t… even know what to believe anymore. Um. Yes. Total retrograde amnesia. I can’t even… remember the term for it properly. My– short-term memory is still not right. I keep having to refer to a notebook I’ve written things in. I don’t– know where you’d know me from. I guess– we must have… crossed paths in the school.

–It’s fine. You can ask. It’d be pretty… obvious, if you saw me. So. I might as well tell people if they want to know. I had a traumatic brain injury, too. And broke both of my arms. Then some minor cuts and bruises. They, um… found me under a slab of concrete. I don’t know why or how I ended up there, but that’s where I was. Apparently they took… hours to even find me. And it was a miracle I was still breathing. I guess I had something to live for. Whatever it was. From what I’ve gathered… I wasn’t exactly a nice person. … I don’t know why I’d want to stay alive if I was as cruel as I seemed to be.

A lot of people are… here. In, um. Seabrook Hospital. Some people got out safely. The rest of us… weren’t so lucky. There are people in the burns unit. People with broken bones. Someone else with amnesia. I think– her name began with an L? … Oh. Lexi. She, um. Didn’t remember anything. But was being moved to another hospital, to… something. I didn’t write that part down.

Oh, wow. That’s... that’s quite a lot to deal with. I’m so very sorry to hear that. We must have, yes. Are you... a Domme, by chance? I’m drawn to strong Dominant women - heck, strong women in general - for friendship and maybe that’s how we know each other? A notebook to write things sounds good to me.

Mon Dieu, that’s... insane. Well, I may not remember you that well but I’m glad to hear that you made it through all of this. And I hope that memory - yours and mine - come back sooner rather than later.

… Jaime. As in Jaime… Kehoe. As in Jaime, your girlfriend. Do I say something? Does she know? Was it a lie? Does this woman even know me at all?

My doctors said the same thing, but… nothing’s exactly… helping. Um. My name’s Erica– Erica Wright. It’s… nice to hear that you’re awake. People told me that you were, um. In a different hospital. Something about a traumatic brain… something. I, uh… I also have that sort of thing going on.

I’m sorry to hear that you were hurt that badly, too. Looks like a few of us… ended up in a bad situation because of everything.

Oh, dear. You had memory loss issues too? I’m so sorry to hear that, Miss.. Wright. That name sounds familiar. Uhm. I’ll have to ask Janessa. I probably know you from whatever is going on...

Yes, I was at Tufts Medical Center until yesterday. A traumatic brain injury, yes. What sort of... would it be okay if I asked what your injuries were, Miss? I’m assuming you were in the ... incident ... at St. Brendan’s.

Hello?

Uhm, hi... My sister said that this site would help. I wish I could say it was. I’m Jaime - Jaime Kehoe. Who are you, Miss...?