missingserendipity

That what happens when you don't value good things and being kind in the past. But, as change has come, go on and motivate your life to be better.

It's not too late to be the best that you can be.

They said you need to meet wrong people before you can meet the right one. How can you be sure that he’s the one if all of the guys before you felt they’re the one?

Grasp every new open door, they said. Claim every near victory, they shouted. But behind those new open doors are challenges, are you up for it? And for every near victory are countless losses along the way, are you up for it?

Sometimes, we’re fully confident on people we relay on when things got bad, when things got tough and when things got uncontrollable. People that helped us reach on the foot of our goal then suddenly, everything will change once you get to enter the door with them.

He was your mentor, an advisor and a guide when you were just dreaming. You even sometimes question him why he was keeping on saying yes to upper hand even if he knew people below will sacrifice a lot and may end up on leaving. You don’t understand why he even have the most valid answer to obvious question, he still choose to answer that is only favorable to them and not for your follower. You were wondering if he cares for all of you when you saw him looking out just for himself.

Now that you’re on the door with him, you finally realized and found out why.

He’s like that because he was tired of questioning every rules because he was not heard of.

He’s like that because he also has a dream to get up higher and lead all of you.

He’s like that because he knew how difficult it was from below and he has an opportunity to walk away from it, he grab it.

He’s like that because simply, he was eaten by the system.

He was one of the of the respected and valuable leader you had and now that he’s one foot higher, he forgot about you, the people below him.Who should we blame for this? The norm inside the place or the person that let himself changed from whom he was.

Sometimes, you would ask yourself, would I be someone that will still look the people below me same as I look to them when I was with them? Or someone that must level things up because I am one foot higher from them?

I had a horrible past & I’m past way from that!

2018 made me realize that life is too short to worry and chase someone that is not worth it of anything. 

I was a girl that begged for love and attention.

I was a girl that uses my power to be happy.

I was a girl that doesn’t care about what other people might think.

I was a girl that ready to lose everything just to get what I wanted.

But now, I’m a woman who knows the value of everything.

I’m a woman that wanted to provide than be provided with.

I’m a woman that loves herself more than her flaws.

I miss you. Badly. I just heard your name once & it all came back again. I was once sure that I’m moving on but I didn’t know that I’ll feel this pain again. The pain of not having you by my side ripped me inside. Slowly tearing my new made heart, again. I guess that deciding to forget you is not enough to make me go on. I’ve decided to be happy again but you're embracing me and holding me back. I tried to recall every bad thing you’ve done to me but I ended up reminiscing the sweet ones.