𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔨

He parked somewhere in front of his old school, the familiar building seemed much different tonight, but in a whole other way than it did during his own prom night.

The music was still softly playing on the radio and every once in a while Matt would glance towards you, one of his hands resting on the steering wheel, the other on his thigh.

“I texted her we’re here, she says she’ll say goodbye to her friends and will be out in a minute,” you mumbled, your eyes trained on your phone, not once meeting Matt’s eyes.

He just hummed in acknowledgement, a silence that was so unusually awkward hung in the air and it physically pained him that for the first time in Matt’s life he didn’t feel as though you and him were even friends at all.

“I hate this,” he murmured, his head finally turning towards you, burning holes into the side of your head as he waited for you to reciprocate his stare.

“High school?” You questioned jokingly, knowing exactly what he was actually talking about but hoping that he wouldn’t start this conversation. “You know what I mean,” Matt murmured, this time he reached out for your hand, a sudden bravery overcoming him that he wasn’t aware he had.

Your eyes fell onto his hand, resting on top of yours, tracing mindless shapes into the back of your hand as he waited for you to speak.

“You wanna sit on the bleachers for a bit while we wait?” 

It wasn’t what Matt had expected you to say, but any words that were directed towards him with your full intent were cherished and appreciated by him at this point and so he hopped out of the car as quick as he possibly could, walking around to open your door and pulling you towards the familiar field with a hopeful smile on his face.

The bleachers looked just as strange and unfamiliar as they did two years ago, only this time there was some sense of melancholy mixed in between, it was weird seeing this place again after you had spent almost every day of your life for 4 years here.

“Isn’t it weird?” Matt began, “to be here again, I mean.”

You thought back to your high school self, how much effort and time you put into wearing your hair the way that Matt had complimented it once when the two of you were twelve, the way you did your Makeup and practised slow dancing over and over again just in case he might ask you that night. 

In more ways than one you were here again.

“Yeah, I guess so,” is the answer you ultimately settle on, your eyes staying on the floor as you tried to distract yourself from the fact every glance at his face made you want to kiss him.

“You called me pretty that night, for the first time after 3 years of friendship,” you spoke, no real emotion behind your words, you spoke it like a fact and there was a bittersweetness to the memory.

“I think that was the only time you called me pretty, actually.”

It was in this split second that Matt had realised something so crucial and life-changingly important, he was almost embarrassed he didn’t think about it sooner.

As the light from inside the building illuminated your face, that was just as beautiful now as it was then, in the same way that it had during your own prom night Matt noticed that this might be the second chance he had been wishing for ever since to say what he didn’t get to say the first time around.

“But you know I think you do,” he scooted a bit closer to you, his hand taking yours into his, “I always think you’re pretty.”

Matt has never seen you blush before, or at least he hadn't noticed, but the sight, even in this darkness, was one he couldn’t get enough of and he suddenly saw how good it feels to speak his mind.

Neither you nor him could have expected his next words.

“I should have kissed you that night.”

He scoots a little closer

“And every night after that.”

His voice softening.

“I should have asked you to dance and I should spend my time telling you how pretty you are instead of just thinking about it.”

Your heart had never beaten this fast and the more he spoke the more you were convinced you were dreaming all of this.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I should have told you I like you. Because I do, still and the thought of not being your friend, at the very least, has killed me the past few days.”

He waits for you to speak, clearly noticing you still needed some time to process all his words.

“I never knew…,” you began, leaning onto your hand to get even closer to Matt.

“I didn’t think you felt the same.”

“Wait…the same?” 

It was Matt’s turn to blush.

“Obviously, you goof.”

“I thought you were developing a crush on Chris.”

“Ew.”

“My thoughts exactly,” he giggled along with you, your shoulders touching at this point as he glanced towards you again when your laughter died down.

“So…what now?”

Subconsciously his tongue darted out to slightly wet his lips and at this point Matt had already said too much to hide the blatant glance towards yours.

“I guess, you could make up for all those times you never kissed me,” you mumbled, your lips hovering over his before finally feeling the softness of mouth against yours, his hand finding its way to the side of your face as he kissed you so delicately you could barely even recognise him. Pulling away his eyes searched for yours, looking for permission to do it again, which you gladly gave.

The second kiss was much more passionate, eager in a way that made it really clear to the both of you just how long you had been waiting for this.

Your hands found their way into his hair and you thanked all your stars for this truly perfect-

“Gross,” the disgusted comment from your sister made the two of you jump apart, looking towards her in embarrassment.

“Once you two are done, can we go home?” She mumbled over her shoulder, walking towards the car. 

As much as you tried to hide your giddiness, the smile on your faces told your sister all she needed to know as the two of you followed after her.

“So, does that mean I get to hold your hand whenever I want to?” Matt mumbled, trying to hold back his smile.

“I guess it does.”

“Good, because I was honestly planning on biting my nails again just so you'd let me hold yours…speaking of, does that also mean I can bite your-”

“Don’t push it,” you mumbled back before slipping your hand into his.

“Fine, fine, I won’t.” 

He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze as he reached for the car keys with his other hand.

With a smile, you spoke.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

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@stxrniqlo @jvdethirlwall @yoongoboongo @maddymaddie @blondiexx1 @insane-fangirl @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @becicamina @l0v3r0fr0ck @f3ssss @taking-a-footnote-in-your-life

ill write 1 last side part this weekend but the story is done :)

thank you all for the kind feedback i really hope you enjoyed this! know that the series im working on rn is the one that i've been planning for a while and is the reason i made this blog in the first place!

i promise i wont disappoint you! :)) and it will be so much cooler than anything ive ever written! :D also ill try to upload that new series every second day, so i hope to prewrite it over the next few days :))

On other days it would be you who’d catch him biting his nails, rolling your eyes but grinning a bit nonetheless you’d walk over, slowly and softly pull his hand from his mouth and take it into yours instead. You tried not to get flustered at the way Matt would stare at you whenever this happened, ignored his lovestruck stare and his mouth slightly parting, looking at you like you were the light of his life and he needed a moment to process the fact you were willingly touching him at this very moment. (Which actually was how he felt, though you weren’t aware of that yet.)

Your attempts at ignoring the pounding in your chest, your lingering looks on his lips and the heat that would rise on your face whenever you’d get a text from him, failed miserably. 

You were reaching a point of denial that, even you had to admit, was on the verge of being simply delusional, when you sat in front of a guy from your university, who had asked you on a date just about a week ago, back during those bright happy days in which you weren’t trying to desperately prevent yourself from falling in love with Matt. Again. 

You had always kind of liked him, he dressed well and he’d send you notes whenever you asked for them, though something was extremely off about him tonight and while trying to find some pathetic excuse of a reason why, a part of you deep down knew that you just couldn’t bring yourself to fully enjoy this date because he wasn’t Matt.

Stepping out of the restaurant you let out a sigh, the coldish air made you pull the jacket you had worn a bit closer around your body as you walked down the sidewalk towards the boys apartment.

Your thoughts were filled, no, plagued by Matt and the dilemma you were facing with your growing feelings for him. You thought back to your high school self, the way you’d always get unsure and insecure whenever you tried to find a reason why Matt never seemed to look your way, the way you’d spend hours at night staying up and contemplating calling him, telling him how you felt. You were sure if your high school self could see you right now, she would rip you a new one.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of your phone.

You pulled on your headphones, ignored your rising heartbeat, and picked up.

“Hey, Matt,” you smiled, his face popping up on the screen, a white shirt and his dangling necklace greeting you, the phone thrown somewhere on the bed and him leaning above it to properly greet you.

The smile that spread across his face, along with his arms on either side of the phone as he leaned over the phone were a sight you wouldn’t complain about if you weren’t so desperately trying to not fall in love with him.

“Hey, you,” he smiled back, pushing himself up from the bed again to reach for a sweater that had been laying somewhere on the side.

“Where are you? I thought you were coming over for a movie tonight,” he murmured, the view of his face blocked by the sweater he was folding.

A part of you was grateful you could finally focus on something else besides how ridiculously handsome he looked in the dim lighting of his room, while a different much more honest part of you missed his stupidly pretty face.

“Are you doing laundry?” You semi-fake gasped.

You could see him roll his eyes while he picked up another sweater. 

“Will you answer my question?” He ignored you.

“I’m sorry I’m just- I’m just so in shock. I come over like every other day for movie night but this I feel like this is something annually.”

“You’re so funny.”

“I feel like I should call your mother, let her know.”

“Okay.”

“Should I write this down in my calendar?”

Matt put down the last of his shirts, before picking up his phone.

“You’re so incredibly annoying, dear god. If you do end up coming over just know I won’t let you in,” he murmured, while walking towards the kitchen, leaning you against the wall as he starts making popcorn.

“Obviously I’m coming over, don’t you see I’m already on my way, stupid?” You smirked, pulling your phone away from you to better show the familiar houses of his neighbourhood you were walking by. 

Matt ignored your comment, instead he focused on your face during the short time that the street lamp illuminated it, the way your hair was done reminded him of the hairstyle you had during his last birthday, and the soft shade of lipstick you seemed to wear made his eyes linger even a little longer.

“Where were you?” He mumbled, the cookie he was eating, muffling his words.

You hesitated. Usually, Matt was the first person you’d tell about your dates, but this time, it almost felt wrong to tell him, despite the fact it was mediocre at best.

“On a date,” you murmured.

You couldn’t quite make out the look on his face after your words had fully registered in his mind, but it was unusually quiet, especially for a phone call with Matt.

“But it wasn’t any good, honestly,” you elaborated, mentally slapping yourself for feeling the need to give him reassurance that he wasn’t asking for and probably not in need of. (He actually very much was.)

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologised, “why not?”

“I don’t know, I guess he just wasn’t my type?” You replied, when in reality you meant to say, “He just wasn’t you.”

“I think he talked a bit too much for me, and we just didn’t have much in common.”

This was true, technically, you just left out the fact that the reason you weren’t able to participate in most of the conversations was because you weren’t listening but instead thinking about which movie you’d be watching in a different guy's bed tonight.

“Oh, so you’d want a guy who can listen well?” Matt questioned, moving back into his room.

“I mean, of course.”

“Maybe he also likes the same things that you do, the same music, for example.”

“Mhm, sure,” you answer suspiciously, having a feeling you knew where this was going.

“Someone who knows you really well? Maybe because he’s known you since high school?”

“I guess that would be nice.”

“Who’s also really tall, brunette and handsome?” He smirked.

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, hoping the darkness outside was covering up your blush at his flirty comments, trying to stay composed as you mustered up all your strength to come up with a remark.

“Okok, stop describing Chris to me and let me in, I’m here.”

You’ve never seen someone's smile fade so quickly, though you saw him hold back a grin at your comment.

“Whatever, freeze out there.”

“I could always call Chris to-”

Matt ripped open the door before you could even finish your sentence.

After changing into some more comfortable clothes that Chris had lent you, (“Why are you wearing Chris’ sweater?” Matt had pouted. “I didn’t wanna wear any of yours, who knows when’s the next time you’ll fold them.”) you found yourself laying in his bed, a movie running in the back as you told Matt about anything and everything.

“- and so tomorrow I have to drive my sister to the hairdresser to get her hair done for later.”

Matt listened to you, though every once in a while his eyes would wander towards your hands, you had gotten your nails done earlier today (a part of him hoped it wasn’t for that date you went on) and he felt the strong urge to reach out and inspect it closer. 

As you continued talking he decided to act on his desires.

“I might even have to drive her to her prom, but I don’t know if I’ll make it since I have an assignment due till-,” your words dragged mid sentence, your focus shifting from the story you were telling to the feeling of his hand in yours.

He noticed your shift in demeanour instantly, frowning he pulled away in fear he had made you uncomfortable.

“What? Everything okay?” he leaned down towards you, which only made you even more nervous.

“I- yeah, I’m okay, I’m just..."

Thinking about kissing you?

A total idiot?

Quite possibly, totally falling in love with you again right now?

“...tired,” you settled on, sitting up a bit in his bed as you averted his eyes, knowing that he was definitely trying to hide a bit of hurt.

“That’s okay, here, I’ll turn off the movie and we-”

“I think I’ll sleep in Chris’ room tonight?” You blurted out, quickly getting up from his bed before slowly inching towards his door, only this time the two of you were looking at each other and the disappointment on his face broke your heart.

“Oh…yeah, sure. I-I’ll uh- I’ll be awake for a little while then, just in case you change your mind,” he mumbled, embarrassed and confused with a bit of hope in his voice that you’d just get back in bed and cuddle up with him like you’d usually do.

You nodded, your hand reaching towards the doorknob.

“Are you really sure you’re okay?” Matt checked in with you one last time, in reality just desperately hoping to find a reason for you to stay.

“Everything’s alright,” You hummed before heading down to Chris’ room, after knocking you bursted in.

“I’m in love with Matt,” you blurted out before he could even fully acknowledge your presence.

“Same,” he joked, his eyes still focused on the screen in front of him until he noticed your silence, finally meeting your glassy eyes and shocked expression he pulled off his headphones almost instantly, walking towards you before pulling you into his arms, letting you hug him back as tightly as you needed to before the two of you sat down on his bed, and talked.

That night both you and Matt laid awake at night, thinking about the other, and while you were trying to remember how you got over him the first time, Matt was hoping you were coming back.

Everything’s alright, you had said.

Matt sighed into his pillow, the lockscreen of you and him tormenting him even more as he checked the time.

Matt was going to hold you to those words.

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note

wee woo wee woo!! I'm sleep deprived 😁

on a serious note though, thank you so much for all the positive feedback :)) it really means a lot to me! seeing you all enjoy this i can't wait for you to see the other projects im working on!!

"Drained?" You mumbled, sitting down next to him.

He hummed in return, looking ahead at the big empty field.

"It's so peaceful here," he admired, his eyes rediscovering a place he had seen almost everyday for the last 4 years.

You turned towards him before laying your head on his shoulder.

"It really is."

"It's weird, isn't it? You spend so much of your life in one place and then one small night and it looks so different all of a sudden," you mused, putting the thoughts he was having into words in a way that he could never have.

A trait of yours he had always cherished deeply.

A question was burning on the tip of his tongue.

Matt glanced down at you, his eyes lingering on your face, resting against him, your hair tickling his neck as he was contemplating kissing the crown of your head.

Ultimately, he decided to tear his eyes away and mumble his question.

"Do you think that can happen with people too?"

"What?" You question, looking up at him, "you mean, that you really suddenly change how you look at them?"

He looked at you, a jittery breath leaving his lungs as his hands gripped the material of the seat beneath him a bit tighter.

There was an unexplainable and unfamiliar feeling in his chest as he watched the light of the moon bounce off of your face. Your eyes meeting his made his face feel warm and the skin contact made his heart beat concerningly fast.

"Yeah," he managed to respond.

"I guess so," you mumbled, slumping into him again.

Your nose, slightly brushing against his skin, had him stop breathing all together. Any movement could push you away from him again, he thought.

Suddenly, you weren't his best friend that he could just tackle onto the couch whenever you came over anymore. You were fragile and beautiful, and you made him nervous and vulnerable with just a touch.

He was so lost in the thought of you that he almost couldn't hear your next words.

You smiled, oblivious to the way his eyes lingered on your lips before they trailed up to meet your soft gaze, filled with a love that Matt wished he could interpret. He always knew you loved him, but he wondered if you had the same internal battle he was having tonight.

Then, you finally spoke.

"I imagine that's what it's like to fall in love with someone, you know?"

Matt knew.

A lil flashback while I'm working on part two <3

Thanks for all the sweet comments and likes <3

Also should I make a taglist for this? Lemme know if u wanna be on it.

His voice was calm and barely above a whisper as he rambled on about the video they filmed just a few hours prior.

When they had come back from filming, you were still sound asleep on Matt's bed. An abandoned homework still opened on your laptop as the yelling and laughing of the brothers announced them back home.

You got up to greet them and watched their faces light up at the sight of you still being here, nick quickly running over to you to give you a side hug before dashing past you to bring you something from his room while Chris walked past u towards the kitchen, giving you a quick peck on the side of your head as his form of acknowledgement

Matt's way of greeting you had always been a bit different, though.

You watched his shoulders relax at the sight of you, he let out a sigh that sounded tired but in a way that told you he was just exhausted from doing something he enjoyed putting his energy to.

His hand would find themselves slowly pulling at the material of your sweater into his arms. His face buried into your neck as he sought out the much awaited peave and comfort he could only find in your arms.

You hugged him back just as tight.

"Okay, you two. Get a room," Nick mumbled as he came back downstairs, an object in bus hand that you couldn't quite make out due to some of Matt's locks still blocking your view.

Much to his dismay, Nick peeled his brother off of you, pushing you towards the couch to show you what he had found.

"No way," you giggled, delicately takiny the framed photo that Nick wanted to show you from him.

You remembered that night so clearly, tracking your fingers over the picture you could almost feel the satin material of the dress you had worn that night. You're smiling, the genuine joy radiating off of your face too strong for you to try and nitpick a flaw of you.

You thought back to the dreadful day at the mall you and the triplets had spent months earlier to pick that dress. The way you instantly decided on the one that Matt seemed to have liked the most. His eyes lingering on the straps to the cut of it before finding their way back to your face, giving you a shy smile.

That picture was taken just minutes after he had first seen you wear it.

"You look beautiful," he said.

You smiled at the memory, giggling inside as you remembered your old crush on Matt.

"Look at the big ass zit Chris had that day," Matt pointed out, pulling you out of your thoughts and taking the picture from your hands.

"You shut up with that haircut, I don't wanna hear a thing from you," Chris mumbled.

"You gonna sleep in my room tonight? We can watch that movie we didn't fin-"

"No, all their stuffs already in my room also your room reeks," Matt protested, taking both you and the framed picture with him.

Nick, for once, didn't try to argue, knowing he wouldn't win when it came to you.

―

When the two of you were laying in bed, Matt had a tendency to start talking about anything that came to mind, occasionally he'd glance at you, making sure you were still paying attention to which you would give his hand an appreciative squeeze. After filming all day with his brothers, you knew Matt needed you to just give him your undevided attention, letting him speak freely without any interruption.

Until you started to hear his words turn into an incoherent mumble, the sound of biting making your head shoot up to look at him.

"Hey!" You spoke up for the first time in a while, slapping his hand away from his mouth and giving him a scolding look.

Matt had always asked you to stop him if you ever caught him biting his nails and despite your much appreciated effort, his habit didn't seem to fade.

"Im sorry," he apologized, the genuine guilt written on his face pulled at your heart strings.

"Don't be sorry," you murmured, "it's not your fault, 'kay?"

"I know, it's just," he leaned his head back a bit, a low groan escaping him, "I don't know, it doesn't bother me in itself, it bothers me more that I can't stop."

You understood. Sitting up a bit, you turned towards him.

"Hey, don't be upset, you just have to find something to do instead of biting your nails, you know? Like every time you get the urge to bite them, you can just play with my nails instead."

He hesitated, but reached for your hand nonetheless. You had just recently gotten your nails done and even when the two of you were still in school he had always had a strange fascination with them.

"...can I bite them?" He mumbled.

"I'd rather you wouldn't," you replied, skeptically.

"Can I rip-" he started to play with the edge of your long nails.

"Noooo," you protested again, pulling your hand away and shielding it with your other in front of your chest.

He smiled apologetically.

"Okay, okay, I was just kidding. C'mon, give it back."

He reached for your hand again, this time carefully tracing the glossy lair of nail polish with his thumb while the rest of his fingers held your hand up in his.

"You better not make me regret this, Matt. If you rip off one of my nails, I'll shave your head."

He ignored your threat, at this point way too entranced by you, the form of your fingers and the softness of your skin. The texture of the design felt fun under his fingertips, and he traced it almost subconsciously.

There was something weird and familiar bubbling up in your chest at the sight of him treating you so delicately. He looked up at you, a grateful smile graced his features as he leaned back down, placed your hand on his, and continued to trace your fingers with his others.

His eyes were back on the movie, leaving you to stare at his side profile with a thousand thoughts running through your head all at once.

At first, you felt warm, giddy, your stomach turning and your cheeks reddening and then an indescribable cold shiver, and the urge to scream into a pillow bubbled up inside you.

The TV illuminated his side profile, the small smile he had while watching. The way your hand seemed to fit so perfectly in his.

"Not this again," you scolded as his fingers tried to rip at one of your nails again.

He just smiled a bit, a slight hint of mischief behind his eyes.

"Don't be scared, I would never hurt you, would I?" He grinned.

You sighed. You were going to hold him to those words.

I wrote this in a daze 😨😨😨 anyway part two coming out soon (someone teach me how to write one shots I can't be controlled)

Next part will be in Matt's pov btw maybe? Who knows. But I have an idea where I want this to go. I think.

Anyway