The most alive I've ever been

𝟏𝟗 𝐅 | 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐄, 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐍 | 𝟏𝟖𝟗𝟎

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗮𝗴𝘀:

#cat got my tongue — Diary entries

#did I ever tell you — Asks

#another thing I force to be a sign — Reblogs

#I told secrets I shouldn't tell — Games

#I bought all the clothes that they told me to buy — Elsie's wardrobe

#just watch as I crucify myself — Religion

#paranoid I made you up — Dr. Seward

𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗠𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝘀:

#lady elizabeth godwin I — Grandmother

#hon. william godwin — Father

#mary godwin (née pilford) — Mother

#irene godwin — Sister

I was rather upset the past two days... On Tuesday, Dr. Seward and I had a... rather confusing conversation, and then, when I returned to my room, I discovered that my great-grandmother's écuelle had been taken from my dressing-table. And when I asked for it to be returned to me, I was yelled at most severely...

To-day, when I came to Dr. Seward's office for my weekly physical treatment, I asked him if he knew the whereabouts of my écuelle. I knew well enough where it was, but I had been instructed to ask people, and so I did... I thought, perhaps, if I asked enough people, the girl who had taken it would deem my efforts sufficient, and then return it to me.

Only the weight of the past two days made me burst into tears, and I do not know if I conveyed myself properly at all; but Dr. Seward assured me that it would be returned. He spoke with such resolution that I felt greatly reassured.

He did tell me that my sensitivity upon the matter was very marked, and that, if such an article were of so much importance to me, it ought perhaps not to have been brought to the asylum at all. As I was too much distressed to explain its indispensable place in my dressing regimen, I am ashamed to say I ended in tears once more. Dr. Seward then assured me that such excessive sensitivity was by no means uncommon in cases of severe nervous congestion such as mine, and that the treatment to-day would relieve that pressure.