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“She got me fucked up. Thinking I’m bout to be chasing her, begging her to let me take care of her. I’m a grown ass man. I ain’t gon beg nobody to do nothing”, he grumbled roughly around a freshly lit Newport. “She’ll see. She gon be right back here, wanting to be taken care of. Watch.”

It had been 12 days since Annie drove away from Elijah. 12 days of separation that was slowly clawing away at the stoic man. 12 days of insufferable silence from the stubborn woman.

Smoke had called. Lord knows he called. Annie never answered. Sent a few texts, no dice. He even left a voicemail, and she never got back to him.

Now let’s be clear, Smoke wasn’t a man that cared about folks being mad at him.

Hell, with the amount of fists him and Stack had to throw growing up, the women that threw fits when he didn’t return their affections, and not to mention that Adam Moore was drunken rage personified.

Yeah, Smoke learned real early not to care about folks being upset with him.

Annie wasn’t just any ole somebody though. Annie was everything. From the time he laid his eyes on her he knew that he wanted to know her. He wanted to get close to that warmth that radiated from her like sunlight through sheer curtains. And from the moment she skirted out of his driveway, all he could feel was that quietly aching coldness in his bones that he carried before he ever knew her. At his wits end, Elijah decided to do what he knows best.

He was gonna go to her house, and Debo her ass bright and early tomorrow morning.

BOOM BOOM BOOM

“Annie!”, Smoke bellowed roughly from Annie’s front porch. “Annie Jean Boudreaux, I know you in there woman, come open up this door now!”

As Annie slept in peacefully on the first day of her 3-day weekend, she was forcefully awakened by heavy banging on her front door. Sitting straight up in her bed, she immediately looked at the clock resting on her nightstand. 7:48am hazily stared back at her. Just as she stood out of bed and quickly reached for her steel baseball bat, she heard—

“Annie I’m not playing with you no more, come on now!”

“You must be so happy you got the calm and quiet twin”, she remembered one of Stack’s flings saying to her offhandedly. Calm and quiet my ass, he just as crazy as his brother.

Annie took her time getting to door. “Quit banging on my damn door like you the police, fool!”, she called out in her sleep roughened voice. Swinging the front door open with more force than was necessary, Annie started rubbing the sleep out of her left eye. Elijah’s throat went dry when he finally got to lay his anxious eyes on her for the first time in 13 days. Knuckles deep in her eye, scarf halfway off her head, sleep indentations in her face, her right breast almost spilling out of her tank top. Smoke couldn’t think of a time when she’d ever looked as ethereal as she did right then.

“Have you lost your mind? You gon wake the whole damn neighborhood up! Why you beating down my door like you ain’t got no sense, Elijah Moore?!”, she hissed at him.

He cleared his throat “You look real pretty right now, Angel.”, he said softly, a major contrast to the hooting and hollering he was just doing. Annie stopped rubbing her eye out of its socket and looked at him fully. “What?”, she squinted up at him making sure she heard him right. “I said you look real pretty Annie.”, he repeated just as softly as before but slower this time. He needed her to know exactly how he was seeing her in this moment.

“Pretty? You banging at my door at 7 in the morning to tell me I’m pretty?”

Annie really started to believe that this man had genuinely lost his mind. But Smoke losing his mind wasn’t her problem, especially not this early in the morning.

Before he could get what he rehearsed in order, she was taking a step back to shut the door. “It’s too early for all of this, Smoke”, her voice edged with agitation from being woken up so abruptly. He wedged his steel toed boot clad foot in the door before she could close it. His Debo plan wouldn’t work if he couldn’t even make it through the door. He needed to change his approach, and fast.

“I just wanna talk with you, Annie. Please? That’s all I’m asking for”, he said in that low rough voice that made it hard to deny him. He hoped that she could see in his eyes how he was pleading with her. “Hmm”, Annie hummed as she took a step back, widening the gap in the door, “come on in before you make my neighbors call them people on me.”

Annie was in her bathroom doing her morning routine. She’d told Smoke to wait for her in the living room while she got herself together before they had this “talk”, against her better judgment. It had been 13 days, and while the woman had cut ties with the man, she missed him something fierce. It would be a lie if she said that she hadn’t missed him. But she wasn’t sorry for how she felt nor for what she had said.

Those first 3 days after she left his place had been radio silent. She didn’t have anything to say to him, and from her understanding, he didn’t have anything to say to her either. That was completely fine by her. She hadn’t done anything wrong. On the fourth day, she received a text from him that afternoon.

“You been remembering to eat?” -Smoke Moore 12:37pm

She didn’t respond. Actually, she left him on read. Which was worse than not seeing it at all. She’d told him that he didn’t need to be concerned with her anymore and she was willing to stand on it. Annie was a woman of her word. He called the next evening, and she let it ring. The next day was the same. One call, no answer from Annie. On the 7th day, he left her a voicemail.

“I’m just trying to make sure you straight, Angel”, she could hear him taking a drag of a cigarette, “you ain’t picking up and that shit making my nerves bad. I know you mad, but you can at least pick up the phone…call me back”, he was still maintaining his pride but she could hear how defeated he was beginning to sound. She almost caved, hearing her big Bear sound so glum. Almost.

Annie hated causing the man stress, Lord knows he gets enough stress daily to last him a lifetime. She loved being a soft place for him to land, physically and emotionally. She loved taking care of the man.

More days than she could count, Elijah would just lay his head on her chest. Completely silent with his eyes closed, while she rubbed the back of his head and peppered his face in light kisses.

“You gonna have a heart attack if you keep on getting yourself worked up, Bear”, she said softly against the top of his head as she caressed the nape of his neck.

“Mm”, he groaned, not bothering to remove his face from her bosom. “If everybody did like I told them to, I wouldn’t have to worry bout no blood pressure”

“Maybe you need to start being okay with everybody not following your direct orders Lijah. The only somebody that you can control is you. Start putting some of that energy into taking care of yourself first”

He lifted his head to look her directly in the eyes, “I take care of myself just fine, baby. You take good care of me too, so I’m extra straight.” He nodded once as if to say “that’s the end of that”, before laying his head right back where it belonged.

Once Annie was done doing her morning routine and switching into some less revealing clothes, she slowly made her way towards the kitchen where she could hear movement.

Standing in the doorway, she watched Elijah move through her kitchen like it was his own. Her kettle sat on the side while he stood over the stove, removing bacon from the cast iron skillet before adding in the eggs he scrambled up.

“I already got your tea steeping over here. Eggs’ll be done in a second”, he said without looking up from the eggs beginning to fluff up in the hot skillet. Truth be told, he was nervous to look at her after how his mind went blank on the porch.

“You said you were here to talk. Last I checked, fixing breakfast and talking were two different things.”, she said in a guarded tone, even as she took a seat at the small kitchen table.

He didn’t say anything in response to that. He wasn’t going to let her bait him into turning this sour so soon. Turning the flame of the stove off and grabbing 2 plates, he began portioning their food. Smoke took slow strides toward the table and gently sat her plate and mug of tea in front of her. “Thank you”, she said almost bashfully.

“Ain’t nothing to thank me for, baby.”

Something about the way he called her baby made Annie’s skin heat up. Suddenly,she was bombarded with thoughts of his mouth caressing the syllables of the endearment. Those lips. How that Mississippi drawl wrapped itself around every word that left his mouth. Her mind was headed somewhere she couldn’t afford to go.

I got something he can wrap his lips around–

The sound of Annie clearing her throat sounded too loud for the cozy kitchen. Needing a distraction from her own brazen desires, she started inspecting the plate in front of her. Eggs scrambled hard, crispy bacon, and tea steeped just enough to get the full flavor profile but not strong enough to be overwhelming. Just the way she liked it.

Smoke watched as she cautiously picked up her fork and brought some eggs to her mouth. He wasn’t gaging her reaction to the breakfast he made, he knew what she liked. What he was looking at was her. Lining up what she looked like right now with what she looked like the last time saw her. Trying to see if anything had changed.

He missed this. Feeding her. Watching her. Taking care of her. Being near her. He was so entranced by Annie that he didn’t even realize that her mouth was moving and her eyebrows were doing that little scrunch in the middle. “—keep staring at me while your food getting cold, acting like you don’t hear me talking to you, Smoke?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“I wanted to look at you. Ain’t seen ya in a while…” he said while looking between his plate and her. The pair was quiet after that. Neither wanting to break the fragile atmosphere they found themselves in.

Taking a deep inhale, Elijah started up the conversation with one thing in particular that had been weighing on him. “Why you ain’t been picking up when I call?”, he said just as he put his last morsel of food up to his mouth.

With that one question, they were no longer standing on the edge of this conversation, they were in it.

“I said all I had to say. You don’t listen to me and I’m tired of repeating myself and it falling on deaf ears.”, shrugging her shoulders. “That wasn’t gon change over the phone.” Annie sat across from the man with her arms folded tightly under her breasts.

Smoke gritted his teeth at this. He wanted to be civil and get to some understanding but this woman, his woman, had already made up her mind.

“You the one that don’t listen”, he thought to himself.

“It ain’t been falling on deaf ears, I hear you just fi–“

“But are you listening to what I’ve been saying to you? Cause you can’t be. You hear me and then you go on and do whatever you please. That’s not respecting me, Smoke, that’s running over me”, she interrupted. The way her accent thickened let it be known that whatever patience she had with the man was lessening by the minute.

“I done respected your wishes, woman. You can’t sit up here and say I haven’t.” There were so many things Elijah wanted to do for her that he pulled back on. He wanted to take anything off of her plate that he could, but he always tried to make room for what she wanted in the midst of it. Maybe not as much as he could, but he did try.

“Yes the hell I can! What wishes of mine you been respecting around money, Elijah? Huh?”

She stood up from the small kitchen table. Clearly breakfast was over.

“I told you I don’t want you giving me money. You put it on the dresser anyway, you send it to me digitally, and then you went and snuck it in my purse like you thought you was slick.”, that thick Creole accent slipping from her tongue. “You argue with me about me taking care of my own hair appointments, nail fee, oil changes, tire rotations, and you think that’s you being respectful?”, she asked incredulously.

“I ain’t paying your rent. I ain’t paying for your utilities, groceries, or gas. If I didn’t give a fuck about your “wishes” I would be taking care of all of that. Like I’m how supposed to.” Elijah stood to his full height. The back of his hand smacking down into his palm, “I put money on that dresser when I leave here so you can do whatever you want with it. I send you money, and you send it right back. You don’t want it to go towards bills, fine, but it’s yours to use. I give it to you because I want you to have it. Damnit Annie, you don’t even spend the fucking money! You stuff it in that green canister underneath your bathroom sink.”

Annie’s blood ran cold at his revelation. Her mind immediately trying to do the math of how long ago he’d found it.

“Yeah, I know all about you holding onto it. All the money I’ve left for you in the past 8 months we’ve been together. Stuffed under the sink like it’s something to be ashamed of. You ain’t slick either.” Elijah hated having to talk to her this way, but she had pissed him off.

He worked his ass off, and he could spend his money however the hell he pleased. If she happened to be one of the main recipients of that hard work, then who the hell was she to tell him what he couldn’t do?

“Oh so you going through my stuff now?”, Annie took a step forward, feeling fired up at her privacy being invaded.

“Don’t try to change the subject, Annie.” he pointed a sharp finger at her as he sucked his teeth. “What you even keeping it for?”

“I keep it in case you want it back…”, the house held its breath at that. “I keep it because I don’t ever want you to hang “what you give me” over my head. I’ve seen how that plays out and I won’t have it.” Annie was breathing quickly now, her body trying to keep up with the emotions swirling through her.

“I’m not stupid Smoke, I know that everything costs something. And it’s all cute right now because we’re new, but what about later? When I ain’t your “Angel” no more? Just another obligation to carry on your back. What you gon want to take from me for all that you give me? What are you gonna feel like I owe you? My voice? My opinions, my happiness, my body?”

Annie felt her eyes well up with tears.

All those memories from her childhood coming at her full speed. Armor disguised as advice passed down through generations. Her grandmother, mother, aunts, older cousins all being in loveless relationships. Being told to stay. She always promised herself that she wouldn’t follow in their footsteps. No matter what.

“That man go to work and got a good paying job, and you talking about leaving him because you ain’t happy? Is you getting beat on? Do he got chaps and a flock of women all across town? No? Then be grateful for that stability. You can learn to live without being happy.” She could hear their voices as clear as day.

Smoke would never admit this to her, but in that moment he realized that he hadn’t been listening to her.

Annie had gone into herself. She was physically standing right there in front of him, but she had completely gone somewhere else in her mind. What he saw now as he looked at her wasn’t pride and stubbornness, but fear. Annie was afraid, and it broke his heart to see her this way.

She was afraid of how their dynamic would be impacted further down the line if they took a step in this direction. Afraid of what it would cost her to rely on him. Once he saw it, he couldn’t unsee it and that changed everything.

“Angel, I ain’t trying to take nothing from you. I want to do all this because I care. You take care of me too, baby.” He felt so cared for by the woman that he couldn’t help but want to return it tenfold. Smoke took one small step toward her. “Annie, you my woman and I’m gon always find a way to do for you. You mine. Done always been mine…you gon always be mine, and I take care of what’s mine”, he said in a hushed voice just above a whisper.

Annie felt like she was being drowned by her own inner turmoil. She was at an intersection with no clear path that she could see all the way through.

Do I take the path that’s been handed down to me and betray myself?

Do I forge a path of carrying everything on my own in the name of self preservation?

Or do I take a leap of faith and let this man be a pillar I can lean on?

Elijah is different.

I’m sure everyone else thought that about their man early on too.

So Annie did what scared people do…she dug her heels in.

“We’ve only known each other for less than a year anyway, Smoke. You don’t understand me, and that’s okay. It’s obvious we can’t get passed this so let’s not waste anymore time. You’re here talking like we’ve been knowing each other our whole lives.” She chuckled softly but there was no humor in it. Annie turned away from him, not wanting him to see how much this was taking from her.

Elijah hated the distance between them, but he understood that he couldn’t crowd her right now. He inched forward, far enough that she had breathing room, but close enough that she knew he was here.

“You know I ain’t talking about time, Annie.”, his voice rough with emotion. “I feel you…you in my bones. You my heart.”

Annie couldn’t stop her body from turning towards him. Elijah Moore wasn’t a man of many words, so him laying himself bare like this… It was the most beautiful thing.

He advanced towards her, closing up most of the space between them. Slowly he reached for her wrist softly, pressing her hand flat against his beating heart. “So what you wanna do? Leave me for loving on you? For wanting you to be taken care of?” He cupped her jaw gently as she leaned into his touch.

Annie’s breathing slowed at the contact. His steady presence anchoring her momentarily.

“That ain’t gon work for me baby, and I know it don’t work for you either. I’ll tell you what, you can not be my woman all you want to, but I’m your man. That ain’t changing.” Smoke spoke softly as he pressed his lips ever so gently to her cheek.

“I don’t know where to go, Bear. I don’t want to make you confused just because I’m all fucked up.”, she took a shaky breath. “I don’t want you to think I don’t care about ya…”, he had never hear her voice so small and helpless. It made him feel useless to not know how to fix right this second.

Smoke knew to contain his relief at the nickname she bestowed onto him.

“I know you care about me mama. I can feel it.” He pulled her pliant body into a full embrace now, cradling her in his arms. Smoke pressed his full lips right against her ear, fighting against pulling her lobe into his mouth.

“I want you to have the kind of life you deserve. Whatever you need I’ll make sure you have it, because you got me. All of me.” He started trailing slow kisses from her ear, down to her jaw before placing small pecks to her neck. “My time, money, attention, love, hell I even got some act right for you if that’s what you needing”, this pulled a giggle from Annie as she cradled his head. The sound of her laugh was music to his ears.

She was letting herself embrace the feeling of having him so close to her again.

“You a mess. What I’m gon do with you Lijah?”, she asked as she tried to contain her laugh.

The two lovers were beginning to feel the tension that they’d been holding onto for nearly two weeks ooze from their bodies, only being left with a sense of hope that they would make it through.

“You can tell me how you want us to go about this moving forward. Talk to me, baby. Tell Papa what you need,” he mumbled between the sweet kisses he laid upon her neck.

Smoke was fighting everything in his body to keep his hands at the small of her back. He wanted so badly to reach further down and knead the flesh of her backside in his hands. It’s had been almost 2 weeks and the man felt like he was dying from not being this close to his Annie.

Annie was quiet as she tried to push everything in her mind away to make room for a solution.

“I need you to be patient with me, Elijah. You gotta listen to me when I tell you to slow down.” He hummed against the base of her throat to show that he was listening, “And maybe we can come to an agreement about what I’ll let you take care of and how much you give me.”

“I can do that, Angel. We’ll get it sorted out.” Smoke picked his head up to meet her big brown eyes with his heavy lidded ones. “I need you to do something for me, too”, he said softly.

Annie nodded her head, urging him to state his request.

“You got 6,400 dollars stuffed in that canister under the sink” Annie averted her gaze at the mention of the exact amount of money she had been hoarding in her bathroom. He gently took chin her between his thumb and index finger to put her eyes back on him, “I need you to go put that in the bank, mama. You ain’t no dope boy.”, he told her sternly.

Annie let out a cackle at that.

“I will Papa Bear, first thing in the morning.”

She nuzzled her face at the base of his neck. He was glad to have her back where she belonged.

“Lijah?”, she called hesitantly.

“Yeah baby?”

“I need…”, her throat tightened at the thought of asking him for something. But true to her word, she was going to try.

“I need you to hold me for a little while.”

“Anything you need, Angel.”

AHHHHHHHHHHH! It’s 11:48 so technically I had this out for Friday night like I wanted😏