Dev Patel in Modern Love episode 2 “When Cupid Is a Prying Journalist” (2019) dir. John Carney

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Dev Patel in Modern Love episode 2 “When Cupid Is a Prying Journalist” (2019) dir. John Carney

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“ There is a snake in this room whose venom is so deadly that your heart would stop before you even knew he’d bitten you. There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. But all of these snakes are in cages with much sturdier locks, and all of them can be handled safely when one has studied them enough. I promise that if you take time to learn the facts, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU HERE IN THE REPTILE ROOM. ”
( * & . — THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE SENTENCE STARTERS
* warning : may contain spoilers for episodes one through ten .
‘ if you were me , you wouldn’t be such a fucking asshole . ’
‘ the world out there has teeth and it is hungry and it is stupid and it eats and eats mindlessly . ’
‘ you listen to your gut . even if it makes them hate you . ’
‘ i am a dream and so are you and so are we . ’
‘ you are a looker , aren’t you ? ’
‘ honey , someone’s in the house . ’
‘ i’m dreaming , right ? ’
‘ i just need a little time away . it’s nothing more than that . ’
‘ you’re saying it was an accident , so you accidentally put your hand through a mirror ? ’
‘ i’m scared . that’s all i am . there is nothing else . i’m only scared . ’
‘ do you think there’s something wrong with me ? like , really wrong ? ’
‘ it’s alright , sugar . it’s just a dream — just a screaming meemie . ’
‘ we yield to it or we fight it , but we cannot meet it halfway . ’
‘ i seldom am well behaved . ’
‘ i enjoyed the conversation , but i’m gonna say goodnight . ’
‘ did you just punch me in the boob ? ’
‘ just enjoy me . i’m loving you . ’
‘ i wouldn’t have changed a thing . i need you to know that . ’
‘ forgiveness is warm like a tear on a cheek . ’
‘ i loved you completely and you loved me the same . ’
‘ that’s all . the rest is confetti . ’
‘ forgive a girl for being lonely . ’
‘ there’s nothing sadder than a cold bed . ’
‘ journey’s end when lovers meet . ’
‘ journeys don’t end , not if you love someone . they don’t end at all . ’
‘ probably best you didn’t say anything to them . ’
‘ i’m asking you to love me hard for the next few minutes . ’
‘ i’m gonna jump and i’m asking you to hold my hand while i’m falling . ’
‘ i have something that i have to tell you , but i need you to remember when i do that i love you . ’
‘ i wish i would’ve loved you better . ’
‘ pandas don’t like macaroni . ’
‘ i’m just floating in this ocean of nothing and i wonder if this is it , this is what death is . ’
‘ i wonder if this is what death is , just out there in the darkness , just darkness and numbness and alone . ’
‘ i wondered if that’s what they felt , just numb and nothing and alone . ’
‘ he was a light in the darkness . he was a life preserver in the ocean . ’
‘ i reached for him because i had to feel something . i had to feel anything . ’
‘ god , i’m so glad i did it though . thank god it worked . ’
‘ i felt scared . so fucking scared . ’
‘ honestly i had to do it because it felt better than feeling nothing . ’
‘ that thorough fucking shame was so much better than that horrible empty feeling . ’
‘ you have to live . ’
‘ i don’t — i don’t know how to do this without you . ’
‘ i learned a secret : there is no without . i am not gone . i am scattered into so many pieces , sprinkled on your life like new snow . ’
‘ when we die , we turn into stories and every time someone tells one of those stories it’s like we’re still here . ’
‘ we’re all stories in the end . ’
‘ you’re supposed to protect me , but you say the meanest things to me when i try to tell you things . ’
‘ that was really wild stuff . ’
‘ that was really wild stuff considering you were asleep for , what , like… ninety-nine percent of it ? ’
‘ i’m sorry . i should have made more of an effort with you . ’
‘ you tried the best that you could . i should’ve met you halfway . ’
‘ people fuck up . i guess you don’t get that — you really don’t get it until you fuck up . really fuck up . ’
‘ i felt… nothing . just nothing . and it spread everywhere in me , this nothing , until i couldn’t feel anything anymore . i was just this dark , empty black hole . ’
‘ i felt nothing and so i drank and i drank and nothing worked . i couldn’t feel anything . ’
“ There is a snake in this room whose venom is so deadly that your heart would stop before you even knew he’d bitten you. There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. But all of these snakes are in cages with much sturdier locks, and all of them can be handled safely when one has studied them enough. I promise that if you take time to learn the facts, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU HERE IN THE REPTILE ROOM. ”
RP MASTERLIST. a series of unfortunate events (netflix, books, movies) + all the wrong questions / lemony snicket
REBLOG this post if you rp a canon or oc character from the aforementioned fandom or have a verse for it and specify in the tags so you can be added.

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Montgomery Montgomery - The Reptile Room
THE MEME FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE HAPPINESS.
Who doesn’t love soul-crushing angst? Send me a 💔 and I’ll generate a number, 1-75, and post a starter based on what scenario I get.
Please note that some of these scenarios may be triggering.
Keep reading
okay but how Extra™ is Uncle Monty, a man who has a door with gears and chains and mechanics and lights made so it looks like it’s super high security just to distract from the doorknob
“ There is a snake in this room whose venom is so deadly that your heart would stop before you even knew he’d bitten you. There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. But all of these snakes are in cages with much sturdier locks, and all of them can be handled safely when one has studied them enough. I promise that if you take time to learn the facts, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU HERE IN THE REPTILE ROOM. ”
A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS » THE REPTILE ROOM

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A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS: The Reptile Room
↳ “Sometimes, even in the most unfortunate of lives, there will occur a moment or two of good fortune.”
ASOUE Week – Day Three: Favorite Guardian
Dr. Montgomery Montgomery “Life is a conundrum of esoterica.”
Stephano has explained to me that he has a very strict fitness regimen, where he has to run up and down the stairs brandishing a knife at least three times a day. So, that makes perfect sense.
❝ what a STRANGE turn of phrase. ❞ in this instance, as with most instances where monty uses the word --- strange, here, does not mean bad. rather, it means of incredible interest. ❝ where does it come from? ❞ [ @reportd liked for a starter ]
Things end. People leave. And you know what? Life goes on. Besides, if bad things didn’t happen, how would you be able to feel the good ones?
Elizabeth Scott, Perfect You (via books-n-quotes)

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This seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn’t want you doing. Good thing I’m an uncle!
Doctor Montgomery Montgomery (via incorrectasouequotes)
❝ what a great load of books ! please, let me help you with those. ❞ a hand is extended in offering, before he is all too quickly distracted by one particular title at the bottom of the pile, ❝ goodness ! is this a FIRST EDITION? ❞ [ @skillfulstunninglibrarian ]