Misheru Blogs

My anxiety feels like so much noise that fills my head and I can’t turn it off, constant feedback and stress and fear

I do this to myself

I tear at my arms to break them and bleed oh

I wish I was bleeding it would show my trauma inside my head

I use to bite my nails into numbs

My skin itches I want to get to the red

I pull at strands of my hair until I imagine I was blad

Intrusive thoughts are thrashing around my head,

Stress is a steaming cup,

Fear is sleeping in my bed,

Why the hell am I still up?

I'm unhurried to let people in,

"It's not too early, no need for rest,"

Tension drains from my skin,

"Most days won't be your best."

I over look Depression lake,

I stop putting up a fight,

I finally decide to take a break,

I turn off the light.

I forget about me,

Mundane

lacking interest or exvitement; dull

Mundane

of this earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual one

Mundane

what most people are and many wish to be

Mundane

is what I am

Sketch of my current D&D party. Probably not going to finish, but it was fun getting here. Left to Right

Cliff - Earth Genasi Monk Fool - Halfelf Druid (me)

Tex - Minotaur Rouge

Edith - Human Cleric

Depression, a weight that fills my stomach but is still empty.

Anxiety helps to twist and tie knots in my digestive system.

"I guess I just don't need to eat today."

"What a beautiful skinny figure I have."

Doesn't matter who is going to see me anyway.

Welcome to the Dear Series!

As a quick introduction, this is a series where I write letters to people in my life who I care about. Later letters I write may get a wider audience as I will probably get more vague as I will have less people to specifically guide my feelings.

I'm not perfect not will I ever be but it hurts to think about and I tend to think a lot especially when I get stressed. And then I also get emotional. I noticed so I try to run away to a safe place. Like my room which is almost always open wide.

It's like a scream for help or waiting for somebody to come find me. They don't always come so sometimes I make them up. I pretend people come find me to make me feel better about myself.

I just came up with an idea to help me write longer stories. I will start off with a very short and basic story, then I will rewrite it adding a few details at a time and eventually it will be a full story. 

First part