vent blog

The psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness

i cant believe im alive and im just sitting in silence most of the time

there is a point in your depression where you just give up on getting better but you still won’t kill yourself. you just float around in this state of nothingness and don’t notice anything around you because you’re just so numb and you just don’t want to do anything about it anymore

being unproductive because you're sad and being sad because you're unproductive. vicious cycle

I don’t think I’m mentally or emotionally equipped to make the sacrifices that I want to make for anybody IDEALLY. The resentment is there. Little girl inside me constantly like What About Me. And maybe that is an important question. And maybe not. I’m undecided

Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring

sorry i didn’t respond for 17 hours i was hyperfixating on something that did not need that much attention

never seen something more accurate

i think i should get paid just for not killing myself mhm give me money dont make me do things

can’t drown my demons they have pool noodle thingies