you're fine, i'm not

people on youtube don't know what allegedly means

I'm certain people on YouTube learned a different language and it just sounds very similar...or they're one sarcasm flip of all the verbs and adjectives ahead in the future.

playing a magic the gathering draft with you and im seated to your right and I pass you my pack and as you look through the cards to make your pick you realize that I have scribbled on the basic land: "do you like me" with a yes and no box for each player in the draft

Take the card as my pick for the round as a spite pick and to hide information from the rest of the pod

from now on we should call corruption kink yumming a girl's yuck. only girls are allowed to have this kink from now on also.

Straight-breaking is now wet hot spaghettification

I thiunk I might be a lebsian...

Good

The fact I’m not gonna be able to masturbate for a while after I eventually get bottom surgery, might just kill me.

For 6-8 months specifically (technically 4 months if you're good at using your butt or can bring yourself to orgasm with other parts. But if you have time to do that you could spend it dilating and doing other recovery aiding physiotherapy)

Polyamorous marriages should be legal, and Protestant Christian culture in America is a coward scared of anything that contradicts their interpretation of their apocalypse cult book.

Also inheritance laws. Inheritance is the other big social structure that stands in the way. It wouldn't be hard to make new rules, people who have the capacity to change it just don't wanna cause under the current tools they already know how best to abuse it for their benefit or would rely on how it works now to plan their future demise.

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

challenging you to a game of russian roulette but you just watch as I choose the one chamber with a bullet in it and shoot myself in the head covering the wall next to me in blood and a bit of it splatters on you

Since we're running on homophone pun logic: having watched you turned away from the table the gun is on, your legs now point out to the side of the chair you're on. So I walk over, lift up your skirt and lick your girly bits and give you head, thus restoring all the bits of head you previously blew with a blowjob (the obvious and intended use case for blow jobs)

challenging you to a game of russian roulette but you just watch as I choose the one chamber with a bullet in it and shoot myself in the head covering the wall next to me in blood and a bit of it splatters on you

need to have my bulge played with thru my panties honestly

I'm taking applications

VLC Media Player is a great application and you should use it for more things, take it with you.

lets make jokes that dont make sense and are bad

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

I’m so into this

It's five years later, I just saw this pop up on my feed, and I'm still so into this