Misadventures In Growing Up

I think the biggest fucking curve 2020 threw my way was hitting rock bottom.

Hear me out.

For so many people we think rock bottom looks like darkness, possible drug or alcohol abuse, being dirty, making bad life choices.

For me, it was the exact opposite.

Covid found me emergently moving back to a place I hated with 36 hours notice. I had to make a split second decision-and it wasn’t an easy one.

I was embraced back home. I was offered to live in the guest room of the house I still own with my ex (gag), my parents said I could move in. My grandparents said I could move in. My bf said I could move onc Each close of friend of mine has offered meals, a bed, anything and whatever they have.

So what happened? When did I realize that I had nothing left to lose?

I realized it when I realized I no longer care about my job. Isn’t that the pisser? My mom asked me if I was worried about losing my job because of some life choices and my podcast.

And ya know what my answer was?

My answer was no.

I’m not afraid.

Fire me. Walk me out. Because I gave my all. And ultimately if that wasn’t enough than this is the end for me and I’m more than okay with that.

Starting over isn’t that bad. Everyone seems soo afraid of it. But as someone who has lived through it-i can tell you it isn’t that bad. I live at my rock bottom every day and it isn’t that bad. I’m surviving. I’m scraping by.

But the weirdest flex of all?

How happy I am. I am so fucking happy not working at a job I hate. I’m so happy eating ramen. I’m so happy eating whatever meal is made for me. I’m so happy not being responsible anymore.

So maybe rock bottom isn’t dark and twisty. Maybe for some of us rock bottom is seeing and truly realizing that we have nothing let to lose and leading our best life based on that principle?

You can’t go further than the bottom.